Those of you who are as old as Methuselah will remember when David Coleman left Match of the Day and the Moustahche God that is Des Lynam took over and it was a seamless transition – well this, THIS is the Eurovision version with Me playing the silver fox and hoping to be just as good as the OG. As the Eurovision creative team didnt release this to the world until well past beer o clock here in Sweden, this may be somewhat more direct than you are used to….well… some of you anyway! Cyprus The first thing I have to say here is that farting methane on the background is not a good look for anyon ..read more

I’ve got to admit, dear listener, that I confused Teya Dora with Teya from last year when I first saw her name in the PZE list.  My heart raced, and then sunk just as quickly.  Sadly there is not a great lot for me to say here.  It’s perfectly serviceable as a Balkan song of the female mode but it just doesn’t get me very excited enough to pay it any attention because as I write this I am playing a computer game on the other screen and have had to listen to this three times to remember what it goes like.  A damning indictment indeed.  The only positive I can think of w ..read more

There’s often plenty to enjoy in the Serbian national final but I’m afraid this song rather passed me by. In my national finals notes I had erroneously marked it down as not having qualified, so nobody was more surprised than me when I read that it had won. I’m no expert in Balkan geo-politics but it was hard to miss the claims that one of the favourites included an implication of unwelcome nationalism. It didn’t win but given the Lilac Ramonda flower referenced in Teya Dora’s title is a poppy-like symbol of remembrance for Serbia’s casualties of war I can’t help wondering whether countering t ..read more

With several artistes reportedly suffering from throat maladies, we take a quick look back at some of the other times the old vocal cords have failed to hold up through two intense weeks of rehearsals. Throat infections and vocal cord issues have plagued many Eurovision contestants. In 2021, Tusse from Sweden underwent minor vocal cord surgery just two weeks before rehearsals began. UK’s entry Javine battled throat problems in 2005 but managed to power through her performance, if not the scoreboard. Oh, those Russians t.A.T.u. on stage at Eurovision 2003 Perhaps most famously, Julia Volkova of ..read more

With Irish Eurovision 2024 singer Bambi Thug reportedly receiving treatment from a doctor for a throat infection, we take a quick look back at some of the other times the old vocal chords have failed to hold up through two intense weeks of rehearsals. Throat infections and vocal cord issues have plagued many Eurovision contestants. In 2021, Tusse from Sweden underwent minor vocal cord surgery just two weeks before rehearsals began. UK’s entry Javine battled throat problems in 2005 but managed to power through her performance, if not the scoreboard. Oh, those Russians t.A.T.u. on stage at Eurov ..read more

What starts out as delicate and atmospheric takes its time to get going and ends up giving me an overly familiar laboured end result. Serbia has become something of an acquired taste in recent Eurovision years – tending to bow down to showing us something just a bit different and artsy, rather than run of the mill. And I am all for that. The problem for me, is that this isn’t something different. It reminds me too much of the sort of things we got from Bosnia in the mid-naughties. And, I felt like I’d heard everything on offer within the first minute. The remaining two delivered nothing n ..read more

Hej hej! It’s been another day of events in the Big Eurovision house, and I’m here once again to point out things that you already worked out for yourselves several hours ago. It’s only because of the unique way that OnEurope is funded (spoiler – it isn’t) that we can do this. Latvia I suspect – with no real evidence to back this up – that Europe is sleeping on this a little bit. There’s always room for a classically structured male ballad, and I’m a sucker for one that builds and builds and then sheds all the layers to get back down to nothing to finish. Dons clearly not having got the memo a ..read more

I need to know more about the entrants for San Marino, so I turn to the official Eurovision site. It tells me “More than a band, MEGARA is a concept! Rock, pop, metal, electronic – whatever!”. Yeah. Whatever. Having missed out in 2023’s Benidorm Fest for a chance to represent their native Spain, Megara this year won Una Voce Per San Marino. It’s an intriguing twist of fate that one of last year’s Sammarinese contestants has this year won Benidorm Fest. It’s like a national finals’ swingers club. What Megara are here for is to disrupt the peace. Not just sonically (it’s a bit of a clatter to my ..read more

We need to bear in mind that part performance is no guide to future performance. Some countries win, completely out of the blue, and then sink back into obscurity. Or a country could have one really bad rogue result amid a clutch of good ones. That brings us to the Big 5, well the German bit of the Big 5 anyway. They were big hitters in years gone by, but fortunes have generally changed since the semi-finals. A rogue result perhaps? Well, maybe, but today’s birthday boy Michael Schulte came fourth in 2018. Another rogue result, or the precursor to a resurgence of Germany’s fortunes? In his fa ..read more

If at first you don’t succeed – fuck off to another national final, that’s what they say isn’t it? – Megara, the group because thats not her name apparently,  failed spectacularly in the Spanish final a couple of years ago so threw her hat into the ring and thought “San Marino are desparate for people. Maybe I’ll fit in here instead” and lo, she has! Onze:Onze is not your typical Eurovision song from Spain or San Marino because it’s actually good.   Megara can sing this entry level rock song really well and she looks like she is going to be all sorts of fun at parties in Malmo too.&n ..read more