I often get asked what a death doula is and how I support people. Death doulas are a relatively new profession, but truthfully, we’ve been doing this work for many generations as the family's women historically provided deathcare. Death doulas help people transition from Earth to beyond, similarly to how birth doulas help babies transition from beyond to Earth.   Death, like birth, requires time to prepare for this transition that will take place. For most of us, death is not sudden, which means we have time to sit with the idea that this life is ending here on Earth. What is beyond none ..read more

When my kids were little, I wanted to create magic for them. I tried to make each holiday filled with mystery and magic, and fun. I played all the parts, planning out what I would do for each, and staying up late the night before to execute the plan. I did it all, through exhaustion, frustration, and overwhelming times on my end just for that moment when their eyes lit up and I knew that they believed. To see that moment when their brain connects what they imagined to what is truly in front of them, as proof of magic existing in this world, living beyond the realm of what we can see with our ..read more

So, what are the stages of grief? Truthfully, there are none. And there are many. This feels obtuse, right? You’ve probably grown up hearing about the five stages of grief and the order that they should move in. The work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross changed the way the medical field understood and related to death. What she wrote about in On Death and Dying however was not about the stages of grief from the perspective of the survivors but was based on what she witnessed was the progression of the emotional stages that someone who is terminal goes through. And even with that understanding, not ev ..read more

Death is not something most of us look forward to. And yet, we will all end up there one day.  It’s a natural cycle –what begins eventually ends, or at least changes. We often feel so out of control about this thing called death that will happen to us that we want to avoid talking about “it” for fear that by mentioning it by name, we may call it upon us. It is not true. Talking about your eventual death will not bring it upon you any faster. But not talking about it may prevent you from fully living. It may keep you playing it safe, not taking chances or risks, or keeping the fancy dishe ..read more

The end of life is not something most of us look forward to. And yet, we will all end up there one day.  It’s a natural cycle –what begins eventually ends, or at least changes. We often feel so out of control about this thing called death that will happen to us that we want to avoid talking about “it” for fear that by mentioning it by name, we may call it upon us. It is not true. Talking about your eventual death will not bring it upon you any faster. But not talking about it may prevent you from fully living. It may keep you playing it safe, not taking chances or risks, or keeping the f ..read more

Touring a deathcare facility isn’t top of the list on everyone’s agenda. I get it. But for those who understand that we will all face the end of our time here on earth, are willing to examine what that means, and want to impact the environment positively, I highly recommend touring Recompose in Seattle. Today I was fortunate enough to be able to take that tour with roughly twenty other people interested in the facility and what they do there. Knowing your options beforehand allows greater peace for yourself, knowing that you have a plan and have made your arrangements ahead of time–it’s ..read more

Living Losses are losses that we all experience but don’t always consciously view as something to grieve as we would a death. These living losses can be things such as the loss of:  Relationships Identity Home Job or career Ability Health A goal or dream Freedom to feel secure, safe, and protected. It can also include things such as: Separation of a loved one A child going off to college or moving out. Leaving single life for marriage or commitment Graduating college and leaving a timeline of your life in the past, even if you’re excited for what’s next. Being ..read more

Holding space is a term that is commonly used when we’re either giving or receiving compassionate care. Each person may experience holding space differently.   For me, it is like taking an extension cord and plugging it into your heart from mine or vice versa. It is the act of allowing the other person's essence to be seen, heard, felt, and fully present.   Holding space allows us to be with all of the other person. The “good,” the “bad,” the “ugly,” and everything in between. It allows us to be in this compassionate space without judgment, without agenda, and without expectation ..read more

Quite simply, grieving is the internal process of mental and emotional turmoil you’re moving through after a loss, while mourning is the outward expression of that grief.   Grief is that complicated rollercoaster of an emotional ride that we go on when we experience a loss in life, whether the death of someone we know or even someone we didn’t. We can experience grief if we loved someone deeply, and also if we hated how they treated us and we loved them once in any kind of capacity.   Grief can also be experienced following a living loss–a loss of something more like an experience w ..read more

There is no doubt that Human Design gives us a unique take on understanding our emotions from what we’ve been taught. In our society, we’re taught either directly or indirectly that emotions are uncomfortable, that they are wild and unpredictable, and that we need to control them better.   Human Design steps in to show us that there are fairly predictable patterns to our emotions and that when we understand those patterns, we can better navigate our emotional landscape.   Before we can talk about grief emotions through the lens of Human Design, let’s first take a minute to understan ..read more