Sunlight of the Spirit May 2016 There is something inherently magical about early mornings, especially when you catch a vibrant sunrise. To be honest though, I’m one of those people who adores her sleep, particularly sleeping in. For years, waking up when my alarm buzzed (after hitting snooze x5 until the last possible minute) was basically the bane of my existence. But over the last couple years, I generally wake up excited for a fresh day and eager for another 24 hours to learn whatever lessons come my way.  One of the most valuable things I know is that I am responsible for the c ..read more

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 April 2016  What I didn't realize I would learn in recovery is what constitutes a healthy relationship. I almost titled this post "Relationshits" because they are hard as shit. Being in recovery, I learned the terms codependent and bullshit co-signers and love addiction and boundaries.  My sordid past includes relationships with men that were quite unhealthy. Ones that were highly codependent and lacked simple boundaries. I essentially attracted what I was: sick and lost. I spotted the guy who would "co-sign" my bullshit cause I would co-sign his. I found g ..read more

3/29/22 spoiler alert / trigger warning  the docu-series Bad Vegan is the story of a trendy raw food restaurateur, Sarma Melngailis, and how the man who she ends up marrying distorts her reality & controls her mind so greatly that it leads to the demise of her business & brand, and effectively leaves her $6 mill in debt.  this is my personal take. I see from a holistic lens & take into account factors of codependency, addiction, past trauma, inner child issues, and attachment. My personal experience as an abuse survivor & my professional work & exposure in the ..read more

December 2019 As the fourth kid, and perhaps innately inward, I spent a lot of time observing. I watched the world around me and I watched what happened when my older siblings ‘talked back’ or even just had their own opinion. My dad was a tough man - militant and unreasonable; he would often rage, sometimes for no apparent reason or sometimes if we left our backpacks and shoes at the front door. I never knew what was going to happen next or when the proverbial shoe would drop. I think I held my breath for my entire childhood. I was deathly afraid of him, and of all men as a result - but sim ..read more

  March 2019 This is probably maybe the first time I've ever done a list like this (and this is my first blog post in FOREVERRRR and a day), where I just tell you some of my favorite things—like I'm Oprah or something ;) I felt super called though. I dreamt it and then woke up buzzing & needing to tell you all the things im obsessed with as of late.   I am just loving so many things recently and I want to share them all with you!  Sharing the things we love just makes life so much fun.  K, so... 1. this memoir. almost no words for this. been reading it at ..read more

December 2017 December 17, 2017 marks 6 years since I gave up my daily pack (often more) of Marlboro Lights. I loved smoking, hated being "a smoker." Sometimes I even lit a cigarette with another cigarette. When I was drinking and using drugs, my nicotine use was at an all-time high and you could find me chain-smoking on any given night. It's worth noting that had I not given up booze and illicit drugs (3 months prior), I can bet I would not have successfully quit the cigs. I don't know why I haven't put out a blog post until now, but I've shared my cessation process with individuals trying t ..read more

July 2017  I've been putting off writing about the SheRecovers weekend in NYC for a few reasons, not the least of which is that I don't know how to distill the pure power of those 3 days of feminine grace, beauty, and strength into one little blog post. The task of capturing the raw emotion of a weekend with 500 other women who are all at different points in their own recovery (from a myriad of things including addiction, mental illness, eating disorders, codependency, etc, etc.--many of us, myself included, are recovering from all of these) process seemed way too big a task for me. It f ..read more

June 2017  There is infinite power in our courage to embrace vulnerability. It’s just another one of life’s paradoxical truths that exactly what we are afraid will alienate us from someone is the thing that will make us feel connected and close to someone. The dictionary lists “weak” and “helpless” as synonyms to "vulnerable." Maybe that’s why we are societally afraid to show our vulnerabilities — because we don’t want to appear weak and helpless. But I define being vulnerable as having an open heart. And being open-hearted is the opposite of weak and helpless. When we have an open ..read more

Me in Outer Banks, NC, September 2015, 4 years sober. May 2017  Have y’all noticed that sobriety is totally trending?? Not drinking and not using drugs is becoming something the “cool” kids are doing. Not that you need to do what the cool kids are doing, but hey, it's worth checking it out to see for yourself. People are choosing to abstain not because they are “alcoholics” or have hit a deep and desperate bottom (but if you are and if you've been getting The Call to try sobriety for a while now, read this), but because they just simply feel better, freer, and more alive without alcohol ..read more