As a writer, there are words I do not like. “Should” is one of them.  A woman recently wrote that she felt the word “should” needed to be removed from the dictionary. I agree. Don’t slip in “ought to” – it’s the same thing.   Physically strong is acceptable, emotionally strong is not. This is written by author, Marjorie Holmes, known for her book, Hold Me Up a Little Longer, Lord.  It is titled, “I’m Tired of Being Strong” “Forgive me Lord, but I am tired of being some of the things I’ve tried so hard to be……… I’m tired of being so capable, so efficient. I am tired of the compl ..read more

When my favourite cousin, Karen, asked if I would write an article for her Multiple Sclerosis magazine about the holidays in this country I thought to myself, where do I start? The Empty Chair So here is the holiday report, but first I want to acknowledge those of you who are grieving. Holidays are painful for those people who live with The Empty Chair. I am one of them. My John’s favourite holiday was Christmas and he would decorate the house, buy a lot of gifts and became quite animated at the fun.  I understand how these holidays impact people who dread the pain they cause. I get it. I ..read more

Since I turned to an advanced age, some people are treating me in  unacceptable ways, and I hope that perhaps this article will at least make some people stop and listen.  More than that, I hope they change their ways. What prompted this? Just recently, someone refused to get in my car if I was driving. Also, I was told I should use a cane because her husband does. In other situations, I was asked, “What is it like being 90?” How the hell do I know? It’s just happened. What I do know is that I continue to work at ignoring people who should on me. They tell me kindly what I should and ..read more

This article got me out of bed tonight. It insisted that it needed to be written….. and so, it is. I have worked as a Thanatologist since the seventies. It is a bereavement specialist and I have learned valuable lessons from my patients.  The most important is that people should allow themselves to grieve. Some do not. There are many reasons.  Mainly it is regarded as a sign of weakness, when in fact it is of love. There have been some beautiful writings on the subject, and these are two of my favourites. My child died. I don’t need advice. All I need is for you to gently close your ..read more

A few weeks ago, for some reason I cannot explain, I started listening to people who love me enough to be open and honest. Some people find me challenging. I am really easy to talk with in spite of my advancing years. People think I am so wise and certainly I have learned lessons from life. The most important is the ability to listen. This is the message I received from several of my closest companions, family and friends. “You really have to start taking care of yourself.  Your life has been caring for others, work and that’s it. So, think of something you would like to do.” Good thought ..read more

To have a friend, one must be a friend. Of course I have been sleepless more than six times, but they haven’t always become blogs! There is no logical reason why I am sleepless. This was so insistent I had to get up and write about it. I had a wonderful day, starting with lunch in the company of two great friends, Jody and her cousin Edie, a long time friend in my favourite restaurant, THE GREEN FORK in North Wales. If you haven’t been there, it is an experience. Then Edie and I went to visit another friend, Kim (who publishes my blogs), (Hello! – Kim) her wonderful husband Eric, and her daugh ..read more

Hallo again. Here I am at last and happy to be back with a new blog. It is 3a.m. Before I write anymore, I want to congratulate my web creator, Kim Krause Berg, on becoming a grandmother since I last wrote. (Thank you Yvonne! K.K.B) I had writer’s block for a while, not because I had nothing to write but because I had too much to write. Having a grasshopper brain didn’t help either. Tonight/this morning, I had a revelation which didn’t allow me to sleep, and I decided to get up and write about it in the hope that others can find some peace in their own experiences. On Saturday March 18th, I we ..read more

It has been quite a while since I have posted a blog because I have had writer’s block for some time. Not because I had nothing to write about, but I had too many concerns and subjects. In other words, I overwhelmed myself! In addition to all that, I have PTSD, not just from the war in which I was raised, but from injustices. Let me give you some background. When I was in my early twenties  – which was a lifetime ago – I suffered from agoraphobia. I was recently married for the reasons most young people got married in those days, which was to get out of the house and have our own. His was ..read more

Grief comes in all aspects of life under the title of loss. In this post, I am addressing those who want to be supportive and don’t know how. Grief is an Expression of Love There has been so much grief expressed just this weekend, let alone this past year, that I thought I would address it. There are things we have to comprehend before we even get there and one of the most important is that this is a nation of fixers and grief cannot be fixed – so don’t even go there. I get a lot of these calls and the best way I can show how simple it is, is to list what not to do. Most importantly, understan ..read more

I have heroes and heroines. Some have been in my life for years.  They all play a significant part in my attitude towards life. The Dalai Lama says, “This is my simple religion. There is no need for Temples. No need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my Temples. My philosophy is kindness.” It seems that I have to have triggers to encourage me to write positive statements which are from the heart.  They are so important at times like these when so many people are filled with fear and feel beaten down. For those people I say we are on a journey without knowing the ..read more