A divorce has many aspects to it – emotional, financial, relational, legal and others.  And everyone going through a divorce must think about strategies for handling these aspects.  But there’s one divorce strategy that is frequently overlooked by people — the strategy of getting quiet. What getting quiet looks like Getting quiet may sound counter-intuitive when we are often told to advocate for ourselves and speak up. So, let’s go through what getting quiet in a divorce looks like and how it can be beneficial. Not retaliating:  As tempting as it may be, quiet the voice in you ..read more

Summer is approaching.  Amid sunshine and warm weather come weddings.  Although a great deal of preparation goes into every detail of a wedding ceremony and reception, discussing legal and financial implications of the union often takes a backseat in the planning.  As part of their preparation for marriage, betrothed couples should discuss whether a prenuptial agreement makes sense in their circumstances. What is a prenuptial agreement? A prenuptial agreement (frequently referred to as a “prenup”) is a written contract two people sign before they marry each other.  Among o ..read more

Life is unpredictable.  While we cannot prepare for every event or situation, we can prepare for a lot.  Preparation is key in mitigating risk and certain decisions faced in a divorce involve an element of risk. For example, deciding on a financial settlement when you are not fully aware of your finances is risky. Being prepared in a divorce helps you make intelligent and informed decisions about your future. In fact, not being prepared is one of my top three divorce mistakes.  If you are contemplating divorce, here are simple ways to prepare now: Know what income you receive an ..read more

Going through a divorce can be extremely difficult and bring many overwhelming emotions to the surface. The holidays are a time to ignite joy, but also a time when expectations can be heightened, and we feel like we need to step up and look strong. Remember this time is an opportunity to loosen those expectations, be kinder to yourself, and embrace your own feelings without shame or guilt.  If you are experiencing divorce or its aftermath, you are likely dealing with the reality of change and what that means for the upcoming holidays. I have compiled together a list of suggestions to hel ..read more

Divorce can be an isolating and scary time. For many people, the breakup of a marriage is one of the most difficult times of their life.  Surrounding yourself with a group of people you trust and who are willing to support you can make the process less isolating and scary.  However, when you are going through a divorce, it’s important to find the right kind of support. Family and friends, while with the best of intentions, sometimes aren’t exactly helpful.  In fact, friends or family who bash your spouse or recount their own negative divorce stories may actually bring your emo ..read more

More often than not, the people I work with let me know at the outset that they have not yet told their significant others that they want a divorce. They’re contemplating divorce but have no idea where to start or what’s involved in the process. All they know is that they aren’t sure if they’re ready to tell their significant other yet. If you’re in a similar position, where you know you want to take that next step but you’re not sure where to start or what to do in order to start getting prepared without your significant other finding out… here are some of my recommendations to quietly begin ..read more

A common question I hear is… “How much will the attorney fees for my divorce be?” And rightfully so! Attorneys are expensive. Depending on where you live, you could be looking at an hourly rate of $400 plus…that can be a huge dent to a lot of us. Unfortunately, I am rarely ever able to answer the question definitively. Whenever I am asked to estimate the attorney fees for a divorce, I lay out all the variables that have an impact.  Some of these variables include: The complexity of the issues in dispute The contention or conflict between the parties The process option chosen by the pa ..read more

It’s a New Year and we tend to set new goals, achievements, and improvements when it comes around. We look at New Year’s Eve as not only a celebration of the year, but a chance for a fresh start. And so, it seems only fitting to talk about goals during divorce. As we know, divorce brings out a lot of emotions and decisions. There could be hundreds of thoughts, questions, concerns, ideas swimming around in your head; coupled with intense emotions and a lot of uncertainty. With all the head-swimming, it’s important to get clear on your goals at the very start. When you identify your goals for d ..read more

The holidays are upon us. For many people, this time of year represents family and connection. Yet not all people look forward to holidays especially those who have experienced loss. Loss comes in different forms including but not limited to death, divorce, and change. It may be hard to feel seasonal joy when feelings of loss and grief are present. Similarly, it may be hard to appreciate what is when the struggle relates to what is not. Joy and Gratitude are Connected Many years ago, I stumbled across the book The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting by Brene Brown. I received many take-aways from th ..read more

Learn about 3 things you can do TODAY to prepare emotionally, financially, and logistically for your divorce.  We all know at this point that life can be unpredictable. While we cannot prepare for every event or situation, we can prepare for a lot when it comes to divorce.  Preparation is key in mitigating risk.  Being proactive in preparing for your divorce can help you make logical, intelligent, and informed decisions about your future. In fact, not being prepared is one of my top three divorce mistakes. I acknowledge that if you’re here, reading this article that you’ve been ..read more