How to Eradicate Bedeviling Thoughts
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
6d ago
All 8.1 billion of us on the planet struggle with bedeviling thoughts to greater or lesser extent. Effective management depends on your view of them and the effort you put into governing them. What’s your take on thoughts? What’s their purpose? Are they facts or truths? Are they all created equal? You must seriously consider and answer these questions in order to be in charge of your thoughts rather than the other way around.  Neuroscientist and psychologist Lisa Feldman Barrett author of the groundbreaking book, How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain, calls the brain a predi ..read more
Visit website
A Healthy View of the Past
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
6d ago
Here are situations you might find all too uncomfortably familiar. My long divorced client Philip is frustrated that he can’t catapult himself back into the past and change it. Filled with regret about things he did and didn’t do in his marriage, he feels a need to atone for his perceived transgressions. A personable and attractive man, Philip could be dating other women. Instead, he cedes the present to the past, immersed in a shoulda, woulda, coulda reverie he’s likely to regret in the future. Middle-aged Moa has convinced herself she ought to have been able to save her younger brother from ..read more
Visit website
Responding to Unwanted or Inappropriate Questions
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
2w ago
Decades ago, a near stranger asked me why I often wore neck scarves. True, this was my habit and that of many others, as was the fashion back in the 1980s. I’m sure I mumbled that I liked how they looked or some such, but this woman’s question never struck me as coming from curiosity. It rang of judgment (as I got to know her, it turned out she was a preachy sort) which irked me. Recently, when a client described how her mother keeps asking her why she doesn’t want children, I thought of the scarf interaction and how people often ask questions that are clearly inappropriate or unwanted. Fortun ..read more
Visit website
How to Love Your Highly Flawed Self
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
2w ago
To be mentally healthy is to know yourself extremely well and still manage to like yourself. These are two distinct but strongly related feats. In truth, some people are so afraid they won’t like themselves if they dig too deeply into their psyche that they barely scratch the surface of self-knowledge before making a fast retreat. These are people who insist they don’t need therapy and it’s a bunch of hooey, anyway, and who pretend to have enormous self-knowledge when it’s obvious to anyone who’s been with them for five minutes that they’re clueless about themselves. The first part of the equa ..read more
Visit website
Why Boundary Setting Can Be Difficult
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
3w ago
It’s not surprising that the topic of boundaries surfaces often in therapy—and in life. In one day, three sessions dealt with the subject. The situations varied greatly, illustrating the importance of attending to boundary issues wherever they crop up. This starts with having healthy beliefs about your ability to set and maintain boundaries while understanding that nuanced circumstances dictate nuanced responses. The first example is a client in her early twenties, a victim of emotional abuse and neglect in her family, who sometimes gets frozen in a victim mentality. We were discussing how she ..read more
Visit website
How to Make Friends
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
3w ago
I’ve blogged a good deal about making, choosing and keeping friends and the red flags to pick up on in relationships. Friendships require close attention which starts before you become friends and continues during the span of connection—because either of you may change for better or worse at any time, calling for relational recalibration. As an only child, I learned early on to be on the lookout for potential friendships. At 76, it’s deep-seated habit. Whenever I meet new colleagues, neighbors, friends of friends, strangers or whatevers, I automatically think about whether they’re friendship m ..read more
Visit website
Overcoming Fear Leads to Reparative Experiences
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
1M ago
Is your fear preventing you from having reparative experiences? I hope not, because fear not only keeps you stuck in victim mode, but also ensures that you stay there. On the other hand, you could do what some of my clients have chosen to do: face your fears, push past them, and improve your future along with your view of yourself.  Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. A client, Andra, a veteran with PTSD, found it hard being social after suffering a military sexual assault. Since then, she’s had two abusive relationships, but also has been determined to overcome her fear of men ..read more
Visit website
What Is a Felt Sense?
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
1M ago
Here are some of my recent musings on noticing enoughness or feeling something isn’t enough. With food, we talk about the terms and sensations of fullness and emptiness. Sometimes our stomachs growl and we recognize we’re hungry or feel sickeningly full when it’s uncomfortably distended. Of course, sometimes we sense but ignore signals of hunger and satiation. And, what of the times we don’t even realize our body is giving off cues about wanting food or being done with it?  These last two reactions indicate a disconnection from self. I remember binge-eating and feeling stuffed only after ..read more
Visit website
More on ADHD and Eating Problems
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
1M ago
  Last year I blogged on the link between Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and eating problems (the diagnosis is now ADHD, not ADD) and I want to give you additional info on the subject from Is There a Link Between ADHD and Overeating. Here are some highlights, though I recommend you read the whole article if you have questions about whether you have ADHD or not or how it may relate to your eating. “ . . . research associates ADHD with eating disorders that involve overeating. There is also scientific evidence to support a link between ADHD and obesity.” “Attention defi ..read more
Visit website
The Chemistry of Fullness and Satiation
Karen R. Koenig Blog
by
1M ago
In a very interesting article (NY Times Opinion, 6/4/23), “What Ozempic Reveals about Desire,” Maia Szalavitz explains how the brain works vis a vis food. As a fully recovered binge-eater and eating disorders therapist for 35 years, it would be almost impossible for me not to have a fascination with what goes on inside us (and went on inside me) when we’re out of control around food. I hope that writing about the science helps you understand your eating better. By discussing Ozempic and other so-called “weight-loss” drugs, I am in no way endorsing them or encouraging their use. One enlightenin ..read more
Visit website

Follow Karen R. Koenig Blog on FeedSpot

Continue with Google
Continue with Apple
OR