‘Why are you feeling so low?’ ‘It is going to be okay!’ ‘Cheer up!’ ‘Don’t be sad, don’t cry like a girl.’ These are things we say and hear in our interpersonal interactions. Sadness doesn’t readily get a place in social media posts or family dinners. People also find it challenging to share their sadness with friends or romantic partners to either not come across as complaining or ungrateful and even risk being misunderstood or shunned. Sadness is also closely associated with ‘overthinking,’ ‘cynicism,’ or ‘being depressed.’ People often navigate sadness with ‘toxic positivity’–the need to r ..read more

I’m sure we have all felt frustrated, disappointed, hopeless, or sad when things didn’t go as planned or we couldn’t meet our expectations. In such situations, developing a sense of pessimism is natural because we see no way out or become weighed down by dread. We usually begin to think that the problem or the situation we find ourselves in will remain permanent, negatively impact all or most areas of our lives, and stop seeing possibilities or the choices to overcome the problem. It is the reason why pessimism usually has a negative connotation. Just like about anything in life, pessimism al ..read more

मैले भावनात्मक बुद्धिमत्ताका धेरै सत्रहरु लिँदा, प्रायजसो: "यदि म यत्तिकै पनि ठिकै छु भने आफ्ना भावनाहरु बारे छलफल गर्दा, मैले धेरै सोचेको जस्तो हुँदैन र?" " भावनाहरु बारे सोच्दा/बोल्दा हामी सामान्य अवस्थामा भन्दा बढि कमजोर र भावुक मान्छे ठहरिने सम्भावना बढि हुँदैन र?"   ..read more

Anger—an unpleasant emotion that has to be the most misunderstood and mismanaged one. People I meet often tell me, "Everything else is okay with me, but I can't seem to manage my emotions." "If only I could manage my anger, most of my life problems would disappear." "I can work on my anger at the workplace, but my family members often bear the brunt of my unpleasantness at home." While many strategies can help manage anger, they tend not to work or are eventually short-lived. The primary reason for this plight is that we do not understand anger in the first place. There are a lot many misconc ..read more

When we think of a professional role, we often think of: Capability: An individual’s competency to achieve the results they are responsible to achieve Effort: An individual’s level of focus and effort in accomplishing their objectives Capability and effort to get one’s job done are important. But could someone be highly capable and hardworking but still be difficult to work with? When working in teams, a crucial factor that’s hard to ignore is the emotional impact individuals have on those they work with. Is it easy or difficult to work with this individual? The answer to this question lar ..read more

The 13th-century Persian poet and mystic Rumi once said, "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." I find this saying both simple and complicated. It is simple, in the sense that if we are to cultivate meaningful and compassionate relationships, we inevitably need to be able to see beyond who's wrong and who's right. We need to connect with each other's needs and feelings, but we fail to do this from time to time- and that is what makes the idea of outdoing 'right' and 'wrong' complicated in our relationships. Does this mean there is no way out? T ..read more

Jackal and Giraffe are symbols of two mindsets with which we navigate the world. The key differences between the two are: Jackal is quick to make assumptions. Giraffe understands that most of misunderstandings and miscommunication comes down to assumptions we make and therefore asks: खासमा के भएको हो? (what really happened?). Jackal takes things personally and therefore, is quick to either blame or self-blame. Giraffe understands that underneath judgments we have about ourselves, about others or judgments others have about us, are difficult feelings and unmet needs. Identifying, labeling an ..read more

Udita [name changed] had an important work presentation on the first day of the week. She was both nervous and anticipative about the meeting. She had 25 minutes to go before logging in to the video conferencing app when her mother showed up in her room and asked her to join for lunch. Udita told her mom that she would eat later since it was almost time for her remote meeting. Her mom got upset no sooner and told her, "It seems like all other people at my home have important work to do, only I am the free and useless one here." Those words got to Udita's nerves, and she frowned, "Not again ..read more

Hesitation to speak up Have there been moments in your life when you had certain thoughts and feelings but kept those to yourself? This could be a question you wanted to ask, a concern you wanted to voice out, an idea you wanted to share or a mistake you wanted to admit. You aren’t alone. As human beings, we have different thoughts and feelings but we don’t necessarily voice them. Why? The answer is simple: we fear being judged, humiliated or punished. This reluctance to speak or question can be referred to as 'psychological danger’. Impact of psychologically unsafe environments When operatin ..read more

There are certain ways we engage with others that are likely to create more distance in the relationship. These automatic ways of reacting can lead us to feel frustration at best and have conflicts at worst. Lucy Leu coined the term ‘4Ds of Disconnection,’ which explains four ways that create distance in interpersonal relationships. Let’s understand each of these disconnecting factors and the impact that they can have on our relationships as well as our own well-being: Diagnosis: In our day-to-day interactions, it’s easy for us ‘diagnose’ other people – meaning we find it convenient to blame ..read more