I had a very boring, low-drama, conflict-free abortion. That is the way it should always be. Every woman deserves her own boring abortion story, a story in which she seeks healthcare and receives it in a timely, professional way. When Roe is overturned, and millions of women are denied easy access to abortion, the need for abortion won’t go away. Instead, women who cannot travel to states where lawmakers have not lost their damn minds will turn to unsafe methods to terminate unwanted pregnancies or carry pregnancies they are not prepared to deal with. My own abortion story is common and unrema ..read more

The longer I’m single, the more I reevaluate my relationship to dating. Pre-spinsterhood, I wanted my identity to be “part of a couple.” And now? There’s a part of me that feels like becoming half of a relationship would mean giving up a part of my soul. But is there anything to this train of thought? Or am I rejecting relationships because I’m overcorrecting my past belief system? Over on my YouTube channel, I talked about labels in new relationships with dating coach Chantelle Dyson, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, because I thought that I had this issue figured out ..read more

As an animal lover and sometimes animal rescuer, I’m quite distressed when people get a pet as a “practice child.” First, caring for a human child and caring for a pet are wildly different experiences. Being involved in animal rescue, I’ve seen too many animals get discarded because a new baby comes along. I don’t always think this is bad, or malicious, or even careless. Some animals are miserable in homes with children and are much happier when they’re rehomed to a place that’s quieter and less chaotic. But, too often, animals are tossed aside the second they become inconvenient to new parent ..read more

Do you know what “hitting the wall” means? To some, it means coming up against the edge of your abilities. But some men mean it to describe the value of a woman. To them, women are only valuable until they reach the age of 25. Maybe 40 if the arbiter of value is feeling less rageful at women than usual. And by valuable, these men mean a woman’s attractiveness and sexual desirability. According to these men, I “hit the wall” years ago. If feel like I should celebrate!! Don’t get me wrong. I do not approve of this odious concept. This looksist, sexist, woman-hating, woman-fearing idea makes me r ..read more

Are women childfree because they HATE kids? Many tropes from films and TV shows would have you believe that childfree women do hate children. That’s a big assumption to make. But even more than that, the outdated belief that I’m childfree because I hate children perpetuates a stereotype that is damaging to childfree people, and maybe even the childfree movement. The choice to be childfree is still not accepted as a valid choice, at least not one that “normal” people make. If you don’t want children, there must be something wrong with you, right? Let’s look at how childfree people are represent ..read more

Marriage is the union between two kindred souls. It’s a celebration of love. Marriage is a patriarchal construct meant to keep women down. It’s a trap for a freewheeling bachelor. Marriage is an equal partnership. There are many ways to look at what marriage means. But most people don’t view marriage as a status symbol of wealth and privilege. For most of history, marriage was about status. Powerful families would strike deals with each other, ending in a pair of betrothed toddlers who would one day be the heads of a mighty empire. In the 18th Century, we started marrying for love. Love, roman ..read more

Single isn’t just a box you check on your tax return. Single is a state of mind. When you combine self-confidence, self-worth, and self-love, you get a potent cocktail of swagger that allows you to live your life for yourself on your own terms. You don’t have to be single to have a single state of mind. If you’re in a relationship, you can still cultivate a single state of mind. I would encourage you to do so. Because a single state of mind makes you a better version of yourself. Pre-spinster days, I was single, but I did not have a single state of mind. I was constantly worried about being si ..read more

I know I often say that I’m happy being single. And it’s not a lie, being single doesn’t make me miserable. But I’m also not ecstatically happy about singlehood all the time. Sometimes I miss having someone to do romantic stuff with, like holding hands and going on leisurely picnics. But that doesn’t mean that I’m about to go out and get a boyfriend in order to feel happiness. Why do single people need to justify their singleness with happiness? Why is the prescription for happiness always another person? And why does anyone need to be happy all the time?? Is it even possible to be happy all t ..read more

I host a podcast called The Spinster Life Podcast where I learn more about famous spinsters of history. In order to learn more about these women and what they have to teach us, I set upon myself a challenge: to live like a famous spinster for a week in order to examine their lives and shed more light on what single women’s lives are actually like. For my first attempt, I lived like Gloria Steinem. One of my attempts to live like her was to write a thought-provoking essay that addresses how far we need to go to achieve actual gender equality. My essay is based on her essay “Phyllis Freud” from ..read more

Cat lady is rarely a compliment. But why is it such a bad thing? Why does our culture have disdain for cat ladies? I myself am not a cat lady, and I will never be a cat lady. It’s not because I don’t like cats, I have severe allergies to cats, their dander, their claws, their litterboxes. But I have mad respect for cat ladies, and I don’t understand why women who like cats are crazy, and men who like cats are sensitive. But let’s explore the “crazy cat lady” stereotype, and why her fate is so dire in the eyes of so many. Look at Carole Baskin and Joe Exotic. Both are involved with big cats. Bu ..read more