It’s Totally Okay If What You Did This Year, Was Just Get Through It
The Authentic Optimist
by Amy
3M ago
It’s that time of year where we all get reflective and take a look back over the past twelve months. But before your social feeds go crazy with people posting their best bits – queue the dramatic music backdrop to a carefully curated reel – I just want to say, it’s totally okay if what you did this year was just get through it. Of course we want to celebrate other people’s wins, but I understand that with so many seemingly endless posts about all the good stuff, sometimes their fabulous moments can make your year feel something less. Try not to let it get to you. Remember that what people sha ..read more
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Happiness Doesn’t Begin When You Meet Someone Else, it Begins When You Take the Time to Meet Yourself
The Authentic Optimist
by Amy
3M ago
There is a pressure to always be in a romantic relationship. To get married, have kids, and settle down as quickly as possible.  I felt this hard when I reached my mid-thirties single. And that pressure teaches us that the goal is to find partnership and we believe that goal will bring us more happiness than could ever be possible. It’s then so easy to believe that single must equate to being unhappy. Even more so, if we want to be in a relationship one day. The idea that a relationship is the answer to happiness is fed to us at any given opportunity it seems: friends, family, media. It a ..read more
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How To Get From Single Surviving to Single Thriving
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
3M ago
Facebook Instagram Pinterest Twitter Truth be told, for most of my life I’ve been in single uncomfortable, avoid and survive mode. I wasn’t aware that I had such a deep rooted disagreeableness with being single until about four years ago. Aged thirty six, fresh out of yet another short lasting relationship and back into my seemingly inescapable interconnection with single, the overwhelming disappointment of being single again hit me hard. Wasn’t I supposed to be with someone by now? Who’d have thought nearly six years  after my divorce that I’d still be dealing with terrible first dates ..read more
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Social Anxiety Brought On From Working From Home
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
3M ago
Facebook Instagram Pinterest Twitter Six years ago I spent four of my five working days out and about visiting customers across the UK. My role was predominantly social and I loved it. It wasn’t rare for me to natter with total strangers, or host presentations in front of hundreds of people. Whilst never totally comfortable, I was pretty good at speaking in front of an audience. However recently I had to stand in front of a handful of people in person and quite a few more watching this take place online. It was only to be for a moment. Nothing to be said, nothing to do other than smile ..read more
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Social Media: It feels like connection. However something also feels really off
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
4M ago
Facebook Instagram Pinterest Twitter We all need connection. We want to be included, to be liked, to feel part of a community, connected with others, validated in our actions, life choices and who we are. But in this day and age of social media and the internet, are we really achieving that connection in the way we hoped for? I’ve been wondering this a lot lately. If you’ve read any of my other blogs, you’ll know I have as complicated a relationship with social media as I believe anyone does. I’m aware it’s not very good for me, whilst equally being unable to stop spending hours scrolling th ..read more
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I Forgive You, But I Do Not Want You Back
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
5M ago
Facebook Instagram Pinterest Twitter You might be contacting because you seek forgiveness. You might be contacting because you want to test the waters as to whether I would consider forgiving you enough, to take you back. However I am empowered by the act of no action. The ability to let you pass on by without any need to see what you want this time. There is no need for regret. As I feel only thankful something ended that wasn’t right. I’m grateful to have learned the lesson. There is no need for apologies, your repentance or your attempts at closure. I healed on my own. Nothing else is re ..read more
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There Is Nothing Wrong With You Being Single   
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
5M ago
Facebook Instagram Pinterest Twitter No-one seemed to mind when I was single at sixteen, eighteen, or twenty one. Single at thirty five though, that shit gets people questioning what the heck is wrong with you. And that single stigma only seems to heighten with age. Because there is something about being single, especially once you reach your thirties and beyond, that feels off. Like you are going against the grain. ‘Still’ single. Rather than just simply, single. People expect you to be doing something about that single status, lest your singleness become an unthinkably permeable thing. The ..read more
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When The Person in Your Situationship Wakes Up Ready For a Label … But Not With You
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
6M ago
Facebook Instagram Pinterest Twitter I’ve been in my fair share of situationships over the past seven years. Apparently, they are on trend. Lucky me, hey! Not really, because the most painful thing about those situations, has been them waking up ready for a label, but not with me.  Was I merely the warm up before the main event? The one who got them there, got them ready for commitment, ready for something more, but not the one good enough to enjoy the fruits of that labour? Self-worth destroying, is how I like to incapsulate the situation that is the situationship What’s worse, is I ki ..read more
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Is Cooking For One Worth it? Absolutely.
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
6M ago
Is cooking for one worth it? Absolutely. Although I definitely didn’t feel this way a couple of years back. As someone who lives alone, I was one of those people who hated cooking and to be honest, didn’t think it was worth all the effort of laying out the cutlery, spending half an hour whipping up an exciting meal, and then tackling all the washing up, just for little old me. Why bother with all the effort? I’m only going to eat it in front of the TV solo, or if I’m feeling really rushed, wolf it down over the kitchen counter in ten seconds flat. Hardly seems worth the bother. Whilst cooking ..read more
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Why Am I Still Single? The Real Reason …
The Authentic Optimist
by theauthenticoptimist
7M ago
Facebook Instagram Pinterest Twitter Why am I still single?. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve asked myself this question. Often accompanied with the following: Am I not a nice person? Deserving of love? Have I not endured and suffered enough frogs? Am I too bossy? Too confident? Should I be less opinionated? Is it the way I look? Where I live? Am I not pretty enough? Perhaps I should be more amenable? Maybe tone down my personality? Try harder? Try less? Am I not open minded enough? Could I be terrible at dating? Am I too busy? Giving off the wrong vibes? Setting too high expectat ..read more
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