Getting over an ex can be tough; even if you were the one to end the relationship. Sure, time heals, but there are ways to get over your ex faster that don’t involve a therapist. 1. Embrace activities that give you joy You may feel bereft without your former partner, but throwing yourself into activities that fill you with joy is important to help you feel like a whole person again. Plus, the endorphins help. 2. Push yourself out of your comfort zone Visit that country you’ve wanted to travel to for ages but haven’t felt bold enough. Take that class. Learn that language. Doing something new an ..read more

Dating apps are a great way to connect with potential love interests, whether locally or if you’re exploring further afield. Yet before long, someone is bound to want to take the conversation off the platform and probably onto WhatsApp. Guidance on being safe while online dating advises not to share your number with someone you don’t know, but we all know this is rarely followed. Given that some apps are glitchy, conversations can often be reliably continued on another messaging platform. Other times, numbers are exchanged as a means of verification; is the person who they say they are? When I ..read more

Originally published in April 2021. Updated in November 2023. Why do people use acronyms on dating sites? Over the years, I’ve been on plenty of dating sites – sometimes to find a partner, other times for casual experiences. There seems to be no pattern as to which apps attract blank canvas profiles and those that call for an essay. On every single app, there are hundreds (thousands?!) of profiles that give away nothing about their creator. You’ll also find fewer (much still many) profiles which tell you their owner’s life story. And you’ll definitely spot plenty of acronyms that can tell yo ..read more

Ever fancied the idea of using an ice-cold dildo but don’t want it sticking to your vag? Like the thought of hot wax but not third-degree burns? For top tips on making temperature play go down a treat, I’ve got you covered. Temperature play is a form of (consensual) sensation play whereby people explore and experience different temperatures, feelings and textures on their skin. It can satisfy a kink or teeter on the edge of BDSM play, depending on the way various sensations are achieved. Cucumbers straight out of the fridge can be as sexy as warm, melted chocolate… Toys can be carefully warmed ..read more

Is your sex drive too low or too high? Are you having enough sex? Can you have too much sex? The internet is awash with ways to tell us we’re not having enough sex and that we need to have more, more, more! But is the advice we read online or in magazines really all that good? Is it genuinely possible to orgasm in five minutes and yet have the longest, most intense climax of your life – tonight?! There’s a whole lot of drivel out there, talking about sex drives, gushing with heteronormative, stereotyped advice. Fortunately, there are also plenty of developers inserting quality sex research int ..read more

With the benefit of hindsight, many of the people I’ve dated over the years had red flags cropping up here and there. Here are 16 red flags I should have spotted but didn’t. My mother did, but mothers always do. Plans are always made to fit their schedule Their dating profile doesn’t match who they are in real life On dates, they bring up their exes constantly They keep making excuses why you can’t meet their friends Likewise, there are many reasons why you can’t visit their homes They’re rude to the waiter Their friend turns up on your first date On the first date, they invite you back to th ..read more

I originally wrote this for Aurore – “porn with a plotline”, published in August 2022 under the alternative title, “Starfucking”. There’s nothing like being at a live show – dancing in a sea of people, being pushed around as you all sing and shout lyrics in unison, albeit mainly off-key. You feel the drumbeat move through you, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end as you wrap your arms around your friends and jump up and down until you can’t feel your legs anymore. Even if you’re not close to the stage, you can tell the guitarist has nifty fingers and the way the lead singer comma ..read more

Seeking a last-minute, sexy getaway before Britain’s brief summer ends and a long winter begins? Here’s what to pack for a sexy minibreak with your partner. How can I be of service, Madam? If you’re both hoping to explore role-play, pack some sexy role-play outfits that suit your fantasies. Some ideas: cops and robbers, nurse and patient, flight attendant and passenger, maid and hotel guest, lost tourist and horny local. Remember: pleasure not business Why not pack that toy you and your partner have been eager to try? Or the extra-loud vibrator you can’t use at home in earshot of the kids? It ..read more

You might have heard the phrase “topping from the bottom” (thanks, Fifty Shades of Grey…) and wondered what it means. Maybe you’re confused about how “topping” differs from “domming” and whether you can bottom from the top, dom from the bottom, top as a dom – and then your knickers are really in a twist. Firstly, “topping” and being a “dom” are not synonymous. In the BDSM world, a Dom is a person who exercises control over another – they might be called “Sir”, “Madam”, “Mistress”, etc. either within the confines of the BDSM play or in normal life if the Dominant and submissive have agreed to e ..read more

Ever fantasised about having sex in the shower? Of course you have, you sexy beast. In fact, according to the sex toy company We Vibe, 20% of Brits regularly fantasise about having sex in the shower. But when it comes to getting wet and wild (and clean and shiny), sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality. Let’s face it, sex in the shower can be difficult. Will you both fit? Are you in a rush to get ready for work? Is someone else in the house causing the water pressure to drop? Do you have clean, dry hair and a full face of makeup? Are you relying on condoms for contraception? Whatever ..read more