People are falling away from faith at alarming rates. One example is evident in a recent Gallup study, that stated, “[T]he percentage of adults who report regularly attending religious services remains low. Three in 10 Americans say they attend religious services every week (21%) or almost every week (9%), while 11% report attending about once a month and 56% seldom (25%) or never (31%) attend.” Church decline over the last 40 years in the United States has prompted numerous... Read more ..read more

If sitcoms, movies, opinion pieces, and mainstream editorials were our only source of information, we’d have to conclude that marriage is a path to misery, the “old ball and chain” that only ties us down, limits our freedom, and stifles our sexual fun. Many people think of marriage less as “settling down” and more as “settling,” especially young people, who are told, “You’ve got plenty of time, live a little, first” (as if life ends after the wedding).   The truth, however, is that... Read more ..read more

“This destroyed household that now stands between the sexes is a wound that is suffered inescapably by both men and women.” My eyes were opened when I read these words of Wendell Berry. My wife’s suffering in a home arrangement that has shown itself more and more to be unnatural is in fact also very much my problem; indeed, a problem for our marriage. There is something unnatural about the home that is consumptive and non-productive, and that is left almost exclusively in the care of a... Read more ..read more

Will your differences sabotage or strengthen your marriage? Recently, Bill and I were with a group of men and women as speakers for a relationship enrichment weekend. Over the few days we were together, we noted some comments from the group pointing out differences between men and women. For example, one of the female leaders announced over the microphone, “I want to thank the men who helped women with their luggage as we were checking in. Chivalry is not dead!” Even though every woman in... Read more ..read more

It's how you handle it that counts. Last year, when we celebrated our 40th anniversary, each of our sons asked to have a few minutes to speak. I envisioned a lovely tribute to our marriage. I should have known better. They were witnesses to our lives. They were there and saw it all. The good, the bad, the magic, and the tragic. Cameron, our oldest, stepped up to the microphone: “Twenty years under their roof proved to me that my parents are not normal—at all. Not in an... Read more ..read more

Not long after my husband and I got married, we started having conflicts about what it meant to be home in time for dinner. After negotiating what seemed like a reasonable compromise, we developed a routine: he’d be late, I’d get angry, he’d apologize, and then we would have a déjà vu moment a few weeks later. This was just one of many areas of conflict. We disagreed on how much food to prepare when we had guests, how quickly bills should be paid, and how often we needed to visit our... Read more ..read more

NOTE: Please understand that weaponized incompetence is NOT "I don't know how to do this task," or "I don't know how to do it as well as you do." Weaponized incompetence is "I'm pretending I don't understand how to do this task, in the hopes that you'll give up on me and do it yourself, and then I won't have to." I don't know how much plainer I can explain it, so I'll explain it here and see if anybody else finds this concept as absoultely baffling as my husband apparently does after 15... Read more ..read more

I have been reflecting lately on the little things my husband does that let me know he loves me. I don’t think he consciously does it to say “hey I love you,” but it still shows that he is thinking of me and loves me. It made me curious, what things does your spouse do to show that they love you? I will start…. He sets up the coffee each night so that it is ready for me when I wake up in the morning. He knew I was having an off day yesterday, and bought me my favorite treats on his way... Read more ..read more

It’s day four of our 10-day honeymoon, and I’m sitting by a little gas fire, alone. My fiancé—no, husband, I remind myself—is fast asleep in the middle of the afternoon. He came down sick right after our wedding a few days ago, and though I want to somehow make him better, my excited chatter and restless limbs won’t do him much good. So, I tuck him into bed with a kiss on the forehead and go pour myself a glass of wine. Matt and I have been looking forward to our honeymoon for weeks. A... Read more ..read more

April 17, 2024 ​ ​ The Things That Truly Matter – Today’s Marriage Prayer​Dear Heavenly Father, Just as a single log can’t sustain a fire on its own, so too we need the support and encouragement of other believers in our marriage. We ask that You bring wise and faithful couples into our lives. Couples who will help to sharpen us with truth and hold us accountable... Read more ..read more