Leadership sometimes means we have to explain to others an idea only we can see. We have to describe in vivid detail. We have to point out why it’s important and relevant. We have to inspire others to want it. And we often don’t have much time to do it. As a conductor, this means a musical vision - a specific sound, a particular shape, or eliciting a visceral feeling. While we ideally show this all through conducting gestures, sometimes we have to verbalize it in rehearsals. And even off the podium, we need to advocate for ourselves and our musicians in various ways. During some of those mom ..read more

The top-down leadership structure often results in a dynamic where the leader tells people what to do and the people do what they’re told. What if we reframe the “telling” with “influencing”? Here's what I mean:  Our job as leaders is to help a group of people accomplish a project. It’s to help the group advance and become better individually. We can tell them to do something, or we can influence them to do it. It’s a subtle but crucial difference.  Telling suggests that the people may remain passive. And when we tell, we often need to enforce the behavior with negative consequen ..read more

I'm sure you've heard the popular saying "strike when the iron is hot." Perhaps you haven't heard the saying "strike when the iron is cold."  You know when you make plans and things don’t go smoothly and you panic?  You know when you are determined to stand up for what you believe in and you don’t do it when it comes time to speak up?  You know when you invite feedback from others and end up being defensive when they actually give you feedback? For each scenario, there is probably a gap between how you’d react in the moment and how you hope you’d react. This is so co ..read more

For the last few years, I've been rethinking my career. When I shared this with someone much older and wiser, they asked me "how many years have you been working?" I replied, "About 10." They said, "That sounds about right." Apparently, I was not special. I guess 10 years is about the time people usually start to feel restless, have doubts about their trajectory, or when they feel the need for some sort of change. Why are we this way? It makes me think of this idea of habituation.  Habituation is "our brain’s tendency to respond less and less to things that are constant…[for example ..read more

"Enthusiasm doesn’t always have to be boisterous. Not everyone shows their emotions on the outside, after all." (I read this here.) I really resonated with this statement. It made me realize that, even as a true introvert, I had a bias toward seeing boisterousness as a sure sign of enthusiasm. When I see overt displays of emotion and loud extroversion, I labeled that as good and "doing it right." I'd notice that these behaviors would get immediate positive affirmation and results. I would berate myself for not being more like that, as if I had some enthusiasm deficiency. For sure, the problem ..read more

I've applied to conducting jobs for over a decade and received countless rejections. Sometimes it's a generic mass email. Other times, I'd be lucky if I received any news whatsoever. I remember one time I was a finalist and I waited for months for a phone call or an email before I gave up waiting and finally assumed that radio silence meant no. These messages (or lack thereof) always made me feel terrible. Among hundreds of rejections, one really stood out - because it made me feel so good.  The words that did it for me were "I'm glad to know more about you." It was a short email. There ..read more

In a workplace, what's being rewarded and how it's rewarded tell you a lot about the culture. Our cultures often reward compliance, being agreeable, and conflict avoidance. It's sometimes not conscious because it's what our society has taught us is good and acceptable. Compliance allows us to expect streamlined, predictable workflow. Being agreeable and avoiding conflict create the perception of harmony in teamwork. It seems to have worked well for us, so we reward it - again and again. Sometimes this is in overt ways like positive affirmation, praise, or promotions. Other times it is more s ..read more

We often hear conductors say it was "love at first sight" with an orchestra, or there was "instant chemistry." What do they mean? I'd like to think that it means being seen, feeling like you are understood for who you are.  I heard once that "falling in love means you recognize yourself through the eyes of someone else." Being recognized for your true self affirms your identity, desires, thoughts, and also flaws. In fact, we discover that we are accepted despite those flaws. So "falling in love" is powerful because it gives us permission to accept ourselves. That's why it feels so good a ..read more

I've heard some musicians share that when they win a job, they immediately feel the need to show that they've earned that job, that they are worthy of it. They feel like they can't just show up to their first rehearsal as the person who just performed a successful audition. They feel like they must suddenly perform significantly better, even though they clearly just won. I can relate to this, too: when I receive a call for a gig, I am excited for a few seconds, and then I shift my focus to what can I do to not disappoint them, to prove that they made the right decision to hire me.  It's ..read more

I learned recently that our brain doesn't think in "good or bad" when it comes to decisions. It actually thinks in "long-term" versus "short-term." When considering decisions, we ask "is this going to be good for us in the long term or short term?"  My biggest takeaway is when we are in fight-or-flight mode, we favor short-term thinking, because it's good for us right now. It's very difficult to have space to imagine how it could be good for us later. We're too preoccupied with surviving.  Like it or not, musicians are often in this state where it can feel like life or death ..read more