When people said, “You’ll never sleep again,” we didn’t really know what that meant. But now, as parents, we’re in the thick of it: Cluster feeding. Sleep regressions. Nighttime potty training. A 2018 study estimates the average parent gets less than 5 hours of sleep per night in the first year. (And it seems like it never ends.) Another study found that parents experience less-than-adequate sleep for the first six years of parenthood.  That load isn’t shared equally, either. On average, moms lose an extra hour of sleep per night compared to dads’ 13 minutes of lost slumber.  It’s n ..read more

Raising kids can be hard.  We’re all just trying our best to keep our little ones healthy and reasonably happy. And while raising kind, independent, resilient kids is an undeniably worthy goal, the intentionally that requires can feel like… a lot. And it’s not just that we’re overscheduled and overtired and overwhelmed, either. It’s this: The complexities of parenting are often compounded by the patterns set by our parents. And by their parents. And their parents. For better and worse, parenting is often a generational endeavor. For some of us, that’s great news. We have the opportunity ..read more

Jada is struggling. She hasn’t been eating, sleeping, or working like she used to. She wonders if it’s related to her stress as a parent. But, she brushes it off since her kids are 4- and 8-years old.  “Surely, I should be over the postpartum period by now,” she assumes.  She keeps her mental health struggles to herself, even though she feels anxious and depressed most days. She wants to talk to her partner about this, but she doesn’t know where to start the conversation. Talking about mental health can be really, really hard. Even when we want to address it with the people with who ..read more

Shelby pushes things off until the last minute. Jamia doom-scrolls for hours. Hunter has a couple extra glasses of wine most nights. All of these folks are using avoidance coping. And it’s probably making things worse. Coping 101 Coping skills are anything we do to manage our emotions in the moment. Most of us have a mix of adaptive (healthy) and maladaptive (not as healthy) coping skills.  Adaptive coping skills support our overall wellness and help us move through tough situations without experiencing negative consequences on the other side. Getting good sleep, taking medications, prac ..read more

You’ll know the moment you see them. Trust your maternal instincts! Motherhood just comes…naturally. These common statements are often made by well-meaning people attempting to decrease our new-mom anxiety. But the truth is that these platitudes don’t always help.  Because when motherhood doesn’t come naturally to us, we feel like a failure. Like something’s wrong with us. Like we weren’t cut out for this at all.  If this resonates, this blog is for you. Let’s talk about when motherhood doesn’t come naturally (even though everyone said it would). Matrescene 101 So much happens when ..read more

One of the first big decisions we have to make as parents is how to feed our newborns.  Breastfeeding.  Exclusively pumping. Formula feeding. Any combo of the above.  Plenty of people make this decision based on how they were fed as babies. Or, we take into consideration the messages we get from those around us about what’s “best.” But what we often overlook is how our feeding choices might impact our mental health. And it’s time we talked about it.  Does Breastfeeding Prevent Postpartum Depression? This is basically the question people wonder about regarding feeding and m ..read more

Janelle has been up since 5:30 this morning. By 8 am, her cup of coffee is long-forgotten, the TV is already blaring, and mom guilt is in full swing.  She barely gets through to lunch time, and then her son throws a fit about what she’s prepared. The only thing keeping her from locking herself in the bathroom is the promise of nap time—a welcome hiatus from the screaming tantrum she just endured. But her kiddo has other plans: Nap strike. Ugh. Janelle spends the rest of the day brooding, and when her partner comes home and asks, “What’s for dinner?” she loses it. She yells so loudly it d ..read more

Just wait until… Someday, you’ll miss this. Enjoy every moment! You should be grateful. While these statements are most likely well-intentioned, they don’t always feel that way.  When we encounter calls to increase gratitude in our lives, our first response might be disbelief, frustration, or anger: How am I expected to seize the present when everyone else keeps talking about the future? How am I supposed to “enjoy every minute” when I’m having a really hard time?  Am I a bad mom for not being constantly grateful? If any of those statements resonates, please remember that motherhood ..read more

What did the kids do today?  Did you pick up dinner? What’s on the schedule for this weekend? Before kids, our conversations with our partners were a little (or a lot) deeper. We discussed our likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, goals and habits.  But now, our conversations are mostly transactional. We want to get in and get out in the least amount of time, so we can return to our never-ending to-do lists. Or, we resort to a little small talk before bed just so we know we’ve said something to our partner that day.  And while there’s undoubtedly a utility to these quick conver ..read more

“Tell me a little bit about yourself.” Before kids, we answer that question with a whole list of details about our education, career, hobbies, goals, and even where we went on vacation last summer.  After kids, though, we feel reduced to a single answer: “I’m a mom.” Don’t get me wrong. Becoming a mother can be an incredible, fulfilling, love-fueled journey. But, sometimes, we feel like just a mom. Like we’ve lost ourselves in this new phase of life. When we’re feeling brave, we might even admit, “I just don’t feel like myself anymore.”  This “new person” has totally taken over. And ..read more