Guess i missed this curiosity a few months back when we scrutinized songs about monsters. Extize extols how Christmas Eve starts with a gun; Guess the nightmare has begun when you’ve got “Gremlins in the System.” Peppy metal. “Merry Christmas (Wanna See My Dad’s Gun​?​)” boasts the claim it was written in ten minutes. Guwange, however, gives us a thoughtful, hyperactive, short garage pop to challenge our traditions. Gettin’ us down, Guy Clark is pickin’ at the ol’ gee-tar with “Queenie’s Song.” He bets you got a gun for Christmas, but that don’t make it right.’Cuz what you did ain’t shoulda be ..read more

“A Candy Gun for Christmas” by Niels Cremer takes a step back from the violence and rage and considers the psychology of toys and gifts with new aged indie-ism. BTW do you eat a candy gun barrel first?? …Running around naked firing nerf guns in the air is the least of the problems in the lite-metal “Another Family Christmas” from 77 Apes. Duck! Two-Ton Santa warbles rock on the attic recording “Toy Gun.” There may be a lesson in here…. Even more atonal, “Bobby Got a BB Gun for Christmas” from Todds Holiday Greeting Disk spools out the escalating tale of a budding sociopath. Shouted folk pop ..read more

Machine gun? The thugs in The Kinks’ “Father Christmas” ask for one (if you have one). Nearly polite for muggers. Classic rock/proto punk. Caetano Veloso has a problem “In The Hot Sun Of A Christmas Day.” Through slow-mo classical pop we learn he’s being chased, but by someone who machine gunned someone else. I think. Wild flute backing it all up. Against All Flags waves their garage banner “Machine Gun Christmas” like it’s the answer to all their problems. Then they switch to wanting a guitar. Whew. “All I Want for Christmas (Is a Machine Gun)” by Henrique Couto is a mojo-nixon soundalike dar ..read more

More movie violence in honor of the holidays… The Blankok Brothers get carried away with racism and gratuitous killing in the nearly country “Now I Have A Machine Gun (Ho​-​Ho​-​Ho​-​Ho).” For all its ‘Merican patriotism it sounds foreignly accented. BLUE ALERT D. Brawlins narrates a bit more of ‘Die Hard’ in ” Now I Have A Machine Gun Ho Ho Ho.” Garage rage with careful pacing. Churlington’s “Now I Have a Machine Gun… Ho Ho Ho” is more appropriately metal. BLUE ALERT again. Harsher metal from Weak Music for Thomas in their “Now I Have a Machine Gun, Ho Ho Ho.” Fight the machine… erm, i mean t ..read more

Somebody loves ‘A Christmas Story.’ Not me. Maybe these guys. DJ UnEq samples catch phrases to a mix beat for “Shoot Your Eye Out (4-track demo).” It gets crazy. Danceable? Jury’s out. Then there’s Fall Out Boy’s “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out“–a real millennial meh about the holidays. Indie about not wanting you, or home, or anything. Not about guns, just the metaphor thingie. (angel chipmunks this nicely.) “Wrap It Like A Christmas Present, Or Yule Shoot An Eye Out” is an all you can’t stand buffet of sexual metaphors using yuletide terms from DG. Shooting must be… oh. Sloppy rap. Matt Wixson’s Fl ..read more

Not traditionally a holiday carol “You Can’t Blame the Youth” is Bob Marley and The Wailers’ treatise on societal indoctrination: When every Christmas come, You buy the youth a pretty toy gun. And that, i s’pose, puts me in mood for gangsta rap. Slaughterhouse (feat. Weed) offers to shoot everyone for “Christmas Fun Time.” So i’ll lose the invitation. All the hoods are here, spreading Christmas cheer, Handguns and wine in Big Bad VooDoo Daddy’s “Christmastime in Tinseltown.” Swing revival counts. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn ..read more

A song to the “Christmas Gun” by Michael Gross, Bryan Szymanski, and Matt Glass features ratatat rock and fatalism. Valley of Love ups the Tarantino quotient with a slow-mo guitar introspection, “My Boy Got His Gun.” Christmas is the backdrop for this pending doom. Angry Johnny & The Killbillies have graced our posts liberally–‘cuz they’re awesome–but we haven’t taken a moment for “Shootin’ Snowmen.” This soft country song about a rural tradition you might want to avoid addresses a strange xenophobia and the redneck response. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn ..read more

Why do you want a gun for Christmas? Jamir Fork indies the answer in “I Want a Gun for Christmas.” Now you know. “All I Want for Christmas is a Broom Handle Mauser” by Alan.s.Robinson is a festive folk jig about taking care of problems. Get some. Jonathan Mann has reviewed Twitter and cobbled together the lyrics for “A Gun for Christmas” with some rocking folk. Much more entertaining than you’d figure. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn ..read more

For the Second Amendment, my government gave to me… the means of overpowering all bad things (segue from last month!!) with violence and grievous bodily harm. Guns have a troubled history. Are they just handheld cannons? Did they ruin Samurai culture? Do they taint everything America has ever done? Will they make the ideal holiday gift? Part of my Christmas Lists theme of 2016 included this medley: A gun – The Vandals with more punkish punk. Ian Yo Yo Yo (Jib Jab Brothers) go urban for the Red Ryder Rifle. (Still preferable to the ‘Christmas Story’ musical version.) Best of the range is R ..read more

Experimental ‘music’ from Concave Onion claims Santa is a multiple murderer. And it’s “Worse Than Coal.” Sheesh. “Psycho Ho Ho” from El Camino features a Santa who has fewer motivations, but rockabilly menace. I’d steer clear. Davey Dips’s “Post-Traumatic Santa Claus Disorder” is a rap tale about Billy who is orphaned by that red menace. Oh, it’s just a movie. Comeuppance arrives from Hot Buttered Elves who find “Pieces of Santa” all over the front room. This new age indie offering makes it sound like El Giftarella was delivering faulty ordnance. Ouch. Still, magic sack…. Ben & Tucker admi ..read more