What is ENM - Ethical Non Monogamy?  What does ENM mean?  How can you have a deep, meaningful, and secure relationship with multiple partners?  These are the difficult questions that my guest Jessica Fern will answer. The world has always treated poly relationships as second-class, not "real" relationships.  But in her groundbreaking book, Jessica Fern shows how ENM relationships can carry the same deep meaning and provide secure attachment as monogamous relationships. Jessica is a psychotherapist specializing in polyamory, and the author of the very successful and import ..read more

Starting to have sex again after an affair is often a major stumbling block for couples.  Being intimate can trigger intense feelings of shame, anxiety, and sadness for both partners.  But becoming more physically and emotionally intimate gives the couple a way to slowly work through these difficult feelings.  In addition, by demonstrating patience, empathy, and kindness, the involved partner can play an active role in helping their injured partner heal and contribute to the affair recovery. In today's episode, I talk with Jennifer Gingras, a Couples Therapist who specializes i ..read more

Growing up with self-involved or emotionally immature parents can make childhood very hard.  You may be well taken care of, have a stable home life, and get birthday parties, but still feel that something was really lacking in your childhood. If your parents are emotionally unable to really connect with you, then you may still grow up feeling emotionally empty. In her landmark book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Dr. Lindsay Gibson explains how confusing it is for the child when their parent is so self-involved, that they can't really see, or respond to, the child's emoti ..read more

Why is it so hard to say "I forgive you"?  Is it really possible to forgive someone who's hurt you?   If you forgive does that mean that you condone bad behavior?  What are the steps to forgiveness?   In this fascinating discussion with Dr. Fred Luskin, the world-recognized expert on forgiveness,  we'll learn the steps to forgiveness and why it's important to forgive.  And, most important, how forgiveness actually frees us from the prison of our own anger. Here's a link to: Dr. Luskin's excellent book on forgiveness  His 9 point forgiveness proce ..read more

Masturbation is often a taboo subject in marriage.  People keep it hidden out of shame and fear of hurting their partner's feelings.  And for some, a partner masturbating brings up deep feelings of shame.  They feel that this is proof that they are not desired, and they feel deeply hurt that "my husband prefers his hand over me", or "my wife prefers her vibrator over me".  These feelings lead to efforts to ban masturbation from the marriage which just results in one partner hiding part of themselves.  And, as we all know, trying to hide from your partner never turns o ..read more

We all want to feel loved and be in a loving relationship.  But for some of us, no matter how hard we try, we keep pushing people away.  And all our efforts to be in a relationship seem to just fall apart. In this episode, I'll explain why you may be pushing people away.  And I'll help you find ways to let the people you love into your life. My name is Jacob Brown, and I'm a Couples Therapist in San Francisco.  To learn more, visit: My Website My Blog ..read more

Why do couples stop having sex?  It can feel like a mystery.  You get along great, you have a good relationship, but for some reason, your sex life has slowly disappeared.  What is really happening when sex stops in your relationship? When the intimacy stops in a relationship  couples often seek therapy.  Young couples, middle-aged, and old couples, unhappy that they've stopped having sex and can't seem to find a way back.  In this episode, I'll explain how losing a sense of trust and intimacy leads to losing a sex life.  And how building trust and intimacy ..read more

Have you ever gone on a great vacation with your partner and ended up having a fight?  Or worse, every conversation turns into an argument?  It's a common problem.  But it's so frustrating and confusing. In this episode, I'll explain why that happens and how to avoid it on your next vacation.  So instead of fighting, you can spend your time having fun, being together, and having some great vacation sex. My name is Jacob Brown, and I'm a Couples Therapist in San Francisco.  To learn more, visit: My Website My Blog ..read more

In this episode, we're going to talk about how you can have a meaningful and important sex life no matter how old you are. The idea that seniors aren't interested in sex or stop having sex is a lie.  Older adults and older couples are very interested in sex.  Sex, emotional intimacy, and physical intimacy are important parts of our lives and our relationships no matter what your age. For many older adults feel a deep sense of shame about their aging bodies, and they find it very difficult to talk openly and honestly with their partner about sex.  For many, it's easier to give ..read more