Absolutely true. Something known here and I guess at other forums for maybe a decade or more, but it was anecdotal evidence. So glad it has moved into mainstream. We here have kicked around (mainly in messages) that the abuse has an effect on a girl such that she does not have the same "proximity " messages. The way they make eye contact when a predator male meets them , maybe even the way they walk and "hold themselves", showing a lack of confidence. Yeah, abused girls I believe are more at risk of being raped, not to mention partnering up with a abusive male. This stuff is not just someth ..read more

Brian_230947 wrote: This amazes me .. This large Forum has a very small secluded area for the falsely accused. The falsely accused are also victims and we should be recognized. The first impressions of this site tell's me that it doesn't understand the implications of being falsely accused and how it destroys lives families and the future of our children. In a hypothetical situation saying that only 5% or so of the accused are falsely accused then translates to thousands even into the tens of thousands per year and the impact it has on the families goes unrecognized. I came here to tell my ..read more

it was brought to my attention at a counselling center that people were targeting women who were abused.. because they were abusers.. they figured damaged women would be easy targets. My therapist was blown away. sick just sick Statistics: Posted by catgirl — Wed Apr 24, 2024 6:42 am ..read more

As I said your situation is very unusual, and as you were 20 it does not fit the roe of child abuse even though you were her child. A child has a different brain, and a different power relationship with their abuser, I can't see you fitting the mould. I wish I could point you somewhere to help you, but can't think where. Statistics: Posted by Terry E. — Mon Apr 22, 2024 11:34 am ..read more

The porn thing was 20 years ago and I never done anything since. Not trying to explain, justify or make excuses. I did what I did. I have been in counselling for that, and currently am in counselling to help with the other stuff. I have done my best to own my situation and work on being a better person. I was going to try and explain some things, but realised if its important to you that you believe what you wrote there is no point me saying anything. Statistics: Posted by TryToBeBetter — Sun Apr 21, 2024 8:19 am ..read more

You are not going to like this and you don't need to agree, but I know the narrative is that teenage male brains are not fully formed, but I had extreme long term abuse and I feel I grew up when I was 10. I have much more experience but as to maturity, I think around 10. (There was a very significant incident). When I was 12 there was another incident which had both of them in hospital and one in the funny farm afterwards, and the decisions I made that day were not those of a child. Very adult, very balanced. My "hero" is Audey Murphy who I believe was significantly abused as a young child be ..read more

No not Havoca. Don't know that one. My birth mother and I still have a close relationship.. but its like the sexual stuff never happened. She would be devastated to know I think of it as abuse... but that is the only word for it. I didn't want it but never felt like I had a choice. I needed her to be my mother... I needed support. Because I was older I carry all sorts of guilt and shame about it. I know now it wasn't my fault.. but I still feel like I am responsible for it and it was me who did it. I am not making excuses but I was really more of a broken kid even at 20. Had to do a lot of g ..read more

Was that Havoca ?? Been here for 11 years and heard a lot of variations on the theme, but yours is unique. The fact it started at 20 to me makes it hard to advise as I am a child abuse encyclopedia, but your story is different. I am guessing your mother was the one who ended the relationship? I can only guess but finding you must have stirred some very deep emotion. Did you look anything like your father when you were young ? I am guessing you did not have much of a relationship with your natural dad? Statistics: Posted by Terry E. — Sat Apr 20, 2024 11:23 pm ..read more

I have been really struggling lately… that’s why I tried to find somewhere to be able to talk. I found this place and another forum. I posted my story here, and then later I posted it there as well. I don’t… I don’t know exactly what I am doing here… I am not wanting anyone to say what I did was ok… no part of me thinks it’s ok. But I feel so alone. …the other forum has banned me permanently because of my story. I can’t take much more Statistics: Posted by TryToBeBetter — Fri Apr 19, 2024 9:22 pm ..read more

Hi Caffeine, I am new here but thought I would reply. I agree with Terry, re-read your stories and consider what they say and how they make you feel. If they are a way you can you have an outlet for your sexuality that’s not a bad thing. Writing and getting stuff out can be powerful. But I would consider how they make you feel. Do your stories release pressure or take you to a dark place? The analogy I have is that some things are like picking at a sore that just won’t heal. Doing them just keeps the wound bleeding… I have been guilty of that. If that’s the case then seeking help may be neede ..read more