Gender roles provide an idea of who we need to be in society and in relationships.  But do gender roles help or harm relationships?   Many people feel that if men and women were better at understanding their roles that couples would be better for it.  Others believe that gender roles get in the way.  Listen to get my perspective about the affects of gender roles in relationships.   ..read more

I believe that being decent is too low of a standard for men.  The bar is too low when we aim for decency.  Let's be good men.   Being a good man is not about how much we provide or protect.  It is about how good we are to our partners and family.   There is one significant feature in men that get in the way of becoming good men.  This episode breaks down what we need to do as men to go from being decent to being good men.   ..read more

Are we being our true selves?  How would we know?  We all feel that we are being authentic, but when we dig deeper we might realize that we are the person others want or need us to be.  Ruby and I talk about what it means to be authentic and how to develop your sense of self.  Self discovery will come with changes to your life and your relationships.  So it takes courage to live your true self.   ..read more

Some of us don't realize the power of boundaries.  Boundaries are vital to creating healthy relationships.  In this episode I talk about why boundaries are necessary and how to create boundaries in a healthy relationship.   ..read more

It is one of the most common communication barriers that I notice as a therapist.  The act of filling in the blanks.  When we don't fully know or understand something, we fill in the blanks with our own thoughts.  The problem tends to be that we usually get it wrong.  It gets in the way of truly understanding the needs of our partner and the relationship.  This episodes goes over the reasons we do it and how we can start changing this bad habit.  ..read more

As therapists my wife and I frequently encounter unhealthy views about sex in a relationship.  This episode addresses important myths about sex in relationships.  It's important to distinguish the difference between intimacy and sex.  We tend to have many misconceptions about how much sex couples should be having and about men's need to have sex.   When a couple can figure out how to improve true intimacy, their relationship with sex naturally improves.   ..read more

Self-esteem is more than just a feeling.  A person can have high self-esteem and be insecure at the same time.  It's because of how we define self-esteem.  Getting to know your true self is the key to sustainable self-esteem.   It takes time to create a sustainable sense of self.  Listen to understand the difference between superficial self-esteem and genuine self-esteem.   https://www.viacharacter.org ..read more

Consent is a very important aspect of a relationship.  Consent means that we respect each other's boundaries.  However there are many situations in which consent is not respected.  In this podcast episode I discuss the value of men's ability to respect consent that has been granted and consent that was not given.   We all benefit when men are able to manage their impulses and take no for an answer.   ..read more

Is fairness in a relationship even possible?   Yes, it's definitely possible.  Fair relationships are not about scorekeeping.   A relatioship is fair when each person feels a sense of balance in the relationship. In this episode my wife and I discuss the concept of fairness in relationships.  We discuss the primary mistakes that couples make when trying to establish fairness.  We also provide valuable feedback on healthy ways to create a relationship that feels fair and balanced.   ..read more

How do you know if your family is healthy or unhealthy?  Many people don't realize that they grew up in an unhealthy family.  We tend to look at our upbringing as normal since it's what we were accustomed to.   In this episode I  go over  the possible consequences growing up in a fundamentally unhealthy family. Understanding the effects of our upbringing can set us up to do better with the next generation.   ..read more