It is one of the most common communication barriers that I notice as a therapist.  The act of filling in the blanks.  When we don't fully know or understand something, we fill in the blanks with our own thoughts.  The problem tends to be that we usually get it wrong.  It gets in the way of truly understanding the needs of our partner and the relationship.  This episodes goes over the reasons we do it and how we can start changing this bad habit.  ..read more

As therapists my wife and I frequently encounter unhealthy views about sex in a relationship.  This episode addresses important myths about sex in relationships.  It's important to distinguish the difference between intimacy and sex.  We tend to have many misconceptions about how much sex couples should be having and about men's need to have sex.   When a couple can figure out how to improve true intimacy, their relationship with sex naturally improves.   ..read more

Self-esteem is more than just a feeling.  A person can have high self-esteem and be insecure at the same time.  It's because of how we define self-esteem.  Getting to know your true self is the key to sustainable self-esteem.   It takes time to create a sustainable sense of self.  Listen to understand the difference between superficial self-esteem and genuine self-esteem.   https://www.viacharacter.org ..read more

Consent is a very important aspect of a relationship.  Consent means that we respect each other's boundaries.  However there are many situations in which consent is not respected.  In this podcast episode I discuss the value of men's ability to respect consent that has been granted and consent that was not given.   We all benefit when men are able to manage their impulses and take no for an answer.   ..read more

Is fairness in a relationship even possible?   Yes, it's definitely possible.  Fair relationships are not about scorekeeping.   A relatioship is fair when each person feels a sense of balance in the relationship. In this episode my wife and I discuss the concept of fairness in relationships.  We discuss the primary mistakes that couples make when trying to establish fairness.  We also provide valuable feedback on healthy ways to create a relationship that feels fair and balanced.   ..read more

How do you know if your family is healthy or unhealthy?  Many people don't realize that they grew up in an unhealthy family.  We tend to look at our upbringing as normal since it's what we were accustomed to.   In this episode I  go over  the possible consequences growing up in a fundamentally unhealthy family. Understanding the effects of our upbringing can set us up to do better with the next generation.   ..read more

Arguments are a part of most relationships.   Arguments can be a tool to fine tune the relationship.  Sometimes we might need to have an argument for the sake of repairing  or improving the relationship.  When we know how to argue more effectively we can avoid unnecessary pain and damage to the relationship.  In this episode you will learn how to hold yourself into account and how to reduce the intensity and amount of arguments.   ..read more

Long lasting happy relationships are hard to come by.  It seems like most people don't really know how to create a healthy relationship with their partner.    Some people dedicate years and invest their lives to creating a good relationship.  But unfortunately too many relationships fall apart.  In this episode I talk about four significant factors that contribute to unhealthy relationships.  Listen and assess your role in your relationship ..read more

Parenting can be tricky.  It would be nice if each child came with their own instruction manual.  We try to avoid some of the mistakes that we feel our parents made.   However,  avoiding a repeat of our experience is not always the best way to raise our children.  This podcast will go over things to consider when raising children with different needs.   That way we can increase the likelihood that we are raising well rounded and secure children.   ..read more

When you have a conflict, how do you normally handle it?  Do you attack, avoid, or accommodate.  In this episode I talk about different tendencies that we have when confronted with conflicting situations.  It would be good to understand your tendencies.  It can make a difference in how you are perceived in your relationships.   ..read more