In early October of 2001, after the world was forever changed by the devastation of September 11th, the last living thing was found under the 3 billion pounds of wreckage of the Twin Towers.  A worker noticed a small branch coming up from the ground of rubble, and on this branch were green leaves.  That person told other workers, and the excitement spread because after 30 days they had found something alive.  In New York, trees don’t normally sprout green leaves in October, so it’s believed that this tree was signaling that it still had life in it.  It was signaling for hel ..read more

Selfies galore and seeking affirmation via social media, it seems the whole world is suffering from narcissistic behavior. However, being self-motivated, self-focused or even putting yourself first doesn’t make you a narcissist. Narcissism is a very particular set of traits that create the definable personality disorder. For people who are in relationships with a narcissist (be it a spouse, parent or even child) life can be incredibly confusing. The narcissistic personality seeks out a particular type of partner (or victim we could say in some cases) with or without cognitive awareness. They a ..read more

Here is what you will learn In this video: What entitlements are. Why they are important and tricky to navigate. How they play out in your relationship. How entitlements can get in the way of connection. How to communicate beyond entitlement and move towards connection. Access the transcript for Entitlements in relationship You can also read Russell Lemle’s article in Psychology Today regarding entitlement, “How Being Entitled to Our Way – Gets in the Way”. If you would like help navigating these issues in yourself or your relationship, reach out to us, We Can Help ..read more

20 years ago my husband, Curtis, and I became an official couple on Valentines Day. It’s easy for me to picture the very moment he asked me. How nervous and excited I was. How infatuated we were with one another! So much has changed in those 20 years, it was that thought that spurred a conversation with my husband about our relationship. Now to add a bit of context I often tell people that Curtis is about as far away from the therapy world, mindset wise, as you can get. The way I think and express myself is extremely foreign to him. The same is true for me, how he expresses himself can be a m ..read more

There are several different styles of communication, yet some approaches work better with our partner than others. Which of these communication styles do you and your partner get into? Style 1: Partner 1: What shall we do for the holidays? Partner 2 (PASSIVE): I don’t know, you decide. In this scenario, partner #2’s body language may be looking down, avoiding eye contact.  For the sake of this article, let’s assume that partner #2 is not sincere about saying “I don’t know.”  This partner is someone who does have a preference, but is afraid to assert themselves to their partner.  ..read more

The process of finding a therapist is no easy task! This is even more the case when clients belong to minority groups or are different from other people for various reasons. “Different.” That word that distinguishes someone from someone else isn’t always positive. While finding the right therapist is difficult for anyone, it can especially be true for people who identify as LGBTQIA+. Most people are aware that in order to get the most out of therapy it involves being very open, remaining honest, and exploring different aspects of yourself. This can seem an even more daunting task for someone ..read more

Holidays are always a hot topic in couples therapy, whether it’s whose family couples will be visiting, how much time to spend there, what activities will be included or avoided, how to enjoy the day when there is relational tension… the list goes on and on.    Thanksgiving Day is right around the corner.  For many, this is a time to reunite with loved ones, play games, cheer on a favorite football team, and gobble down all the delicious food.  Yet just like so many other special events, this Thanksgiving Day is one more causality of the pandemic.  In this articl ..read more

This article gives a brief overview of some basics about Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and what you can do to support yourself as well as nurture your relationship when you love someone with Complex PTSD. You may be wondering if reading this article will be helpful to you.   If your partner experienced significant trauma during childhood and you find yourself in awe of all that they are in spite of what they have been through, yet uncertain at times about how to provide the right kind of support, then this article is for you. If you recognize the wisdom within you ..read more

How many people can we socialize with? Can we know how many people they are socializing with? Are our kids old enough to be responsible? What is the degree of risk of getting sick? How sick will anyone in our family get? What are the rewards of socializing for me, for my spouse, for my kids? These are some of the many questions that couples are being challenged with during the pandemic. However, underlying these questions is a central theme related to different levels of risk tolerance between partners. As with many of these types of conflicts, people have a different personal degree of risk ..read more

Holidays are always a hot topic in couples therapy, whether it’s whose family couples will be visiting, how much time to spend there, what activities will be included or avoided, how to enjoy the day when there is relational tension… the list goes on and on.    Thanksgiving Day is right around the corner.  For many, this is a time to reunite with loved ones, play games, cheer on a favorite football team, and gobble down all the delicious food.  Yet just like so many other special events, this Thanksgiving Day is one more causality of the pandemic.  In this articl ..read more