Navigating mismatched desires in a relationship can be a real challenge. But fear not, because I've got your back with some practical advice to turn this obstacle into an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. ? Embrace the Conversation Don't Sweep it Under the Carpet: It's tempting to avoid the discomfort, but open communication is key. Start the conversation about your differing desires. Understand each other's needs, fears, and desires without judgment. This sets the stage for growth. Create a Safe Space: Ensure that the dialogue is open, honest, and free of judgment. Make it a safe ..read more

Initiator-Inquirer, a communication method crafted by Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson from The Couples Institute is my go to tool for couples to begin to create space and better understanding with each other. It's a brilliant structured approach to support better understanding in relationships. Let's delve into why: Why Do I Use Initiator-Inquirer? By slowing down, and creating space to really hear each other - it creates a very different way of communicating. Each person is able to express their way of seeing things - without blame, judgment or interruption.  How does the Initiator-Inquirer ..read more

We talk all the time about love. But what is love when it comes to romantic relationships?  Enter Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. I love using this powerful model to explore how 3 key components intertwine for a fulfilling love connection. The Triangular Theory of Love Sternberg's theory breaks down love into three main elements: Intimacy: This is the emotional core of love, reflecting the closeness, communication, and connection you share with your partner. It forms the basis for deep friendships. Passion: The spark that ignites romantic and physical attraction. It ..read more

Conflicts are natural in any relationship, but they don't have to lead to frustration or resentment. That's where the power of polarity mapping comes in -  I love using polarity mapping to help my clients build better, healthier relationships. It helps lead to a more balanced and open communication style between each person in the couple and find creative solutions. As a Libra sun sign with 5 planets in Libra - I'm all about balance! Why Polarity Mapping? Conflict often arises from opposing viewpoints that create a 'right' versus 'wrong' dynamic. However, conflicts are often ro ..read more

WANT TO ARGUE LESS? How to hack the nervous system to prevent arguments escalating. When couples argue with each other, they often get into a downward spiral. So by learning how to positively co-regulate with each other we don't waste time getting lost in an argument.     So what are 4 tips for co-regulation? Number One - Slowing Down You can support them by you slowing down, by not giving too much information, not speaking in lots of sentences really quickly, but keeping things in short sentences. Number Two - Tone of Voice We can slip into a cold or harsh tone of voice or a lou ..read more

  Communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship. And that’s no different when it comes to your love life. Many couples find it more awkward to talk about sex than to have sex! But if you don’t talk about sex, it becomes the 'elephant in the room'. It may be an awkward thing to talk about, but once you start to talk about it - it gets so much easier!   Intimacy issues are a big problem for many couples. But if you don't share your needs, the less likely you are to have those needs met. When you don't give and receive physical affection, it's hard to connect and feel close ..read more

How are you at asking for what you want in bed? If you want a satisfying sex life, it’s so important to be able to be able to say what you DO and DON’T want. And it’s equally vital that you and your partner can listen to each other’s needs and give and ask for feedback. But here the thing, very many of us find it really hard to say anything about the sexual touch we are receiving - there are loads of reasons for this; maybe we’re shy and embarrassed, or we fear hurting our partner or we are afraid the touch will stop all together. So if you know you’re not great at asking for you what you wa ..read more

If there’s one nerve in your body that you need to know about, it’s the vagus nerve. It regulates some of the most critical systems in your body, and also controls your response to danger and safety, triggering your fight and flight response and calming you down as needed. But it may surprise you to know that it also impacts your bodily functions, levels of stress, and impacts your relationships and capacity for intimacy. So read on to learn more about this critical (and big!) nerve! What is the vagus nerve?  The vagus nerve is the largest nerve in the body with the ability to alter your ..read more

Voice Dialogue is a way of working that I use all the time in my sessions. It’s a non-pathological modality where we talk to the different parts of ourselves to help uncover conflicting thoughts, behaviours and emotions. This enables you to create a more balanced awareness of yourself and express yourself more freely, rather than behaving in an automatic, habitual or unconscious fashion. It’s a great way to improve your relationships with others, increase your self-knowledge, and help rediscover lost skills and talents. The origins of Voice Dialogue (also called Parts work) Created in the 19 ..read more

Jack Morin and The Erotic Mind What drives sexual desire? What turns us on? And what happens after we get our happy ever after? These are all topics sex therapist Dr Jack Morin explores in his book ‘The Erotic Mind’. For many couples, sexual desire simmers down when they become settled. Some partners may even develop an aversion to being touched, whilst others lose their desire for sex. Because, as Morin explains, feeling close and loved doesn't always equate to sexual desire. His landmark book suggests that sexual arousal often stems from anxiety, guilt, anger and obstacles. It’s often why un ..read more