I used to read a lot of books about how to find your purpose, how to stop procrastinating and how to overcome resistance. For a while I’d do whatever my book of the moment said to do. Then I'd read something else that totally discounted it and I’d stop doing it and start doing whatever the book of the moment said to do, no matter how it felt. It was a vicious cycle. And, I bet you can guess, I wasn't accomplishing anything worth talking about. Fast forward to now... Now I know for sure that you never "find" your purpose outside of yourself, it's not like a lost set of car keys. There is no te ..read more

Aside from the word “Mom!” “What’s for dinner?” are probably the three words I’ve heard the most in my life as a mom. From sun-up to sundown someone is always asking "What's for dinner?" A toast to my skills in the kitchen? Perhaps, but, from now on, I think my response will be “What are you looking forward to today besides dinner?” before telling them what they want to know. For sure we need food for fuel but, eating food has become the only joy for way too many people. Along with trying to feel joy we eat food when we aren't hungry to avoid our feelings (aka buffering). I actually buff ..read more

“Don’t get your hopes up” is terrible advice. Now the words “Don’t get your hopes up” are surprisingly well meaning. The phrase is most often uttered by parents and others who love us very much and don’t want us to ever feel sad or disappointed. But, think about it… lets say… you have a goal that you want to appear on the TedX stage and someone says, “That’s nice, but, don’t get your hopes up, so many people have that same goal”. How would you feel? If you took that advice to heart you might decide to quit before you start. At the very least you most likely would feel wishy washy about y ..read more

I don’t know about you but, I love this time of year. I love the beginnings of things, movies, projects, books and yes, years. Beginnings are energizing, full of possibility. Middles are gritty, hard, beautiful. And, endings, well, I love them too especially if I have created them intentionally. Let me explain. One thing I like to do this time of year is create an endgame for myself. An endgame is basically a paragraph you write about where you want to be this time next year. There is something powerful in writing down what your life will be like when your goals are achieved. And, get t ..read more

People ask me all the time how I stay motivated to work out every day. Facts are, I love to ride my Peloton and I actually look forward to lifting weights but, I'm not gonna lie, there are days when my brain tells me I should skip my morning work out. "Take it easy" it tells me, "You’re way too busy this morning to get that bike boot camp in." My brain and yours are programmed to seek pleasure (hello comfy sofa and a cup of coffee) over the discomfort that can come from a Hit and Hills ride or your work out of choice. Some days I catch myself listening a little, I push my work out 15 or 30 ..read more

My biggest job as a coach is to hold the space for my clients and show them the thoughts in their brains. I love when I can point out thoughts that they aren’t consciously aware they’re having. It’s an honor and a privilege. (Quite honestly it’s the best thing ever.) I’m fascinated and empowered all at the same time when I’m able to coach my clients to recognize thoughts that have been stopping them from taking action on what they really want. I feel the same way when I uncover them in myself. This past week I had an experience with my own brain that I think is a perfect example of a hum ..read more

Do you ever use your goals against yourself? I used to. Every year, for as long as I can remember, I've made a list of new year’s goals and resolutions. They used to look like this: Lose 20 pounds. Develop multiple streams of income. Buy a new house. Learn to knit. Read a book a week. Travel more. Start a Non-profit. One year I woke up and noticed they were mostly the same as the year before and the year before that. Each year I would take some action in January but then…crickets. At some point mid year I’d look at the list and I’d feel a whole lot of shame because nothing had changed. I’d c ..read more

My family bought a Peloton bike at the beginning of the pandemic. I ride that bike most every day and I’ve fallen madly in love with instructor Robin Arzon. (Fan Girl right here) Seriously…I do everything she asks, 60 resistance, Yes! 80 MPH or faster! Yes! 20 push-ups! Of course. And, I never quit before the time is up. Never. I always do everything she instructs and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself “I will not let her down.” She doesn’t even know I exist but, I seriously will not disrespect her with a mediocre effort. How about you, are you really good at doing things ..read more

I'm not good at making friends.” My client told me this like it was a fact. The actual facts are that she has a husband with dementia and a daughter who was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease. They were her friends, her support and now she feels like she has nothing and is in desperate need of connection. “What have you tried?” I asked. "I emailed two women recently and nothing came from it." "That’s it?" I inquired. "Did you pick up the phone?" "Did you email them again?" "No…..Do you think it’s me, do you think it's my personality?" Her voice quivered. "Of course it's not you ..read more

I sat down at the Blow Dry Café at 3:00 on Saturday afternoon with an iced cold brew in hand. It was an appointment I booked 3 weeks ago with the stylist I love (my hair doesn’t like to take curl and she makes it work!!!) She was baffled. “How are you here? Why are you so calm, don’t you have a party tonight?” I laughed and thought about myself just a few short years ago and how I would have been a bit stressed and I would never have had the time for things like blow outs the night of a party I was throwing. “Yes, I have a party tonight but, I’m ready, I’ve done the work ahead of time." I ..read more