Is It Normal? In my experience as a psychologist specializing in sex and relationships, I often encounter clients grappling with the question of normality. They come seeking validation for their feelings, relationships, and experiences, asking, "Is this normal?" This question, however ubiquitous, is not the most constructive or revealing one to ask. Instead, we need to shift our focus towards a more personal and introspective query: "Do I want to live with this as my norm?" The concept of normality is inherently elusive and subjective. When people seek to understand if their experiences align ..read more

In the intricate tapestry of human relationships, understanding the dynamics of attachment and dependency is crucial. Our earliest interactions, often within the family unit, lay the foundation for how we connect with others throughout our lives. This article delves into the profound interplay between attachment styles and relationship dependencies, two pivotal aspects that shape our interpersonal world. Attachment styles, formed during our early years, dictate the way we relate to those around us. They range from the confidence and balance of secure attachment to the anxiety-ridden ambivalenc ..read more

Navigating the journey of personal growth is an intricate process, requiring not only your dedication but also the guidance of a skilled professional. In my experience as a psychologist specializing in sex and relationships, I've seen many individuals face challenges in seeking the right support for their growth. To help you on this journey, here are my top nine essential tips: 1. Seek the Right Professional: It's vital to remember that not all therapists and coaches have expertise in sex and relationships. Even highly-qualified professionals might lack expertise and deep understanding in thes ..read more

Feminist porn is a form of pornography that aims to challenge traditional gender roles and representations of sexuality, often featuring more diverse and realistic portrayals of women and their pleasure. However, I still see several issues with feminist porn that need to be addressed. #1 Focus - Is He Even Here? One issue with feminist porn is that it often still focuses too much on the female body and ignores the male body as worthy of attention and focus. In traditional pornography, the female body is often shown in great detail and is a major focus of the camera's attention. The problem is ..read more

When it comes to relationships, choosing a partner with a growth mindset can make all the difference in the long-term success and happiness of the partnership. But what exactly is a growth mindset, and how does it differ from a fixed mindset? A growth mindset is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence can be developed and improved over time. This mindset is characterized by a willingness to learn, take risks, and adapt to new challenges. On the other hand, a fixed mindset is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence are set in stone and cannot be changed. This mindset is charac ..read more

Much is written about open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, polyamory and all the possible relationship models that don't fit the monogamy mould. But one stands out the most as what I'd call the Bible of Ethical non-monogamy. I recommend this book to all folks who wish to explore opening their relationships or officially becoming ethically non-monogamous, approaching new relationships with openness about their chosen relationship model. Drum roll... My favourite and most recommended book on the topic is: ''The Ethical Slut'' it is a book that explores the world of consensual non-monogamy a ..read more

Asking your partner about their preference for being "a good or bad boy/girl" can be a key question to discuss when exploring what turns you both on in the bedroom. It may seem like a simple question, but the answer can reveal a lot about your partner's desires and how they want to play with you intimately. It's important to note that this question has nothing to do with the idea of "good" and "bad" in the traditional sense. It's not about judging someone's moral character or behavior in day-to-day life. Instead, it's about exploring the different types of intimate play that you and your partn ..read more

"Don't yuck on my yum" is an expression that refers to the act of judging or disapproving of someone else's interests, particularly when it comes to their sexual preferences. The phrase is often used to remind people to respect others' choices and to refrain from imposing their own values and beliefs on others. Here are seven reasons why it's not a good idea to judge people's interests, and especially so when it comes to your partner's sexual interests: It is judgemental and sex-negative to do. When you judge someone for their sexual interests, you are essentially saying that their desires a ..read more

I often say that I prefer working with singles and people look at me confused when I say it. They usually ask me questions like: ''But why would a single person work with you when you are a sex and relationships expert? Shouldn't they come with a partner?'' And I get where this is coming from, but that's just one more example of how programmed we are to think about what working with a relationship and intimacy professional looks like - that it is for struggling couples. Well, the stereotype cannot be further from the truth. The truth is - if we want to have good and healthy relationships with ..read more

Year after year, it is interesting to see how in December I receive tons more inquiries and booked discovery calls with potential clients, as people are looking at the New Year approaching and thinking they don't want to continue struggling in their romantic relationships and intimate life. It saddens me that people need the poke of a new year approaching to seek help and embrace the possibilities. Investing in oneself consistently Investing in one's personal development is important at any time of the year, not just in January when people tend to set resolutions. Personal development involves ..read more