By: Mark Shaw This is the start of a 5 part quick series entitled “The Mind of an ‘Addict'” where I describe the five mentalities I see when counseling an “addict.” That’s the bad news, but the good news is that there are 5 marks to look for in a transforming “addict” who is becoming like Christ. Believers have the mind of Christ (I Cor. 2:16) and the Word gives us the “put-on” mentality that opposes each of these mentalities specifically (Eph. 4:24). The mentalities are based upon 2 passages of Scripture: Matthew 22:37-40 and Ephesians 5:18-21. You’ll find more detail in my two books: Now, o ..read more

From: Sound Recovery Solutions With sex addiction, it can seem like excuses piled on excuses. Denial is a very strong emotion and behavioral pattern which can keep a person stuck in addiction. People who struggle with sex addiction tend to blame problems on anything (or anyone) other than themselves. Rather than underlying causes, they are just escaping from pain. Find out why denial keeps people locked up in addiction and how they can seek help to escape. Entitlement A person may be stuck in denial because they feel entitled to what is rightfully theirs. It is okay to have a ‘little reward f ..read more

By: Vicki Tidwell Palmer Working with partners of sex addicts over the past 8 years, I’ve found that the greatest need they have is for honesty. As difficult as it is for sex addicts to believe, most partners can deal with almost any sexual acting out behavior but they can’t tolerate dishonesty. As a partner, you know in your heart that this is a deep truth. Honesty is the foundation of all intimate relationships, yet it’s invariably a casualty in relationships where addiction is present. How do you, as a partner, get this fundamental need met during the addict’s unpredictable and often turbu ..read more

By: Randy Gilliland, Mikle South, Bruce N. Carpenter The purpose of this study was to examine the prevalence of both shame and guilt in hypersexual persons, to examine the associations between the intensity of these emotions and the degree of hypersexuality. Although conceptualizations of shame and guilt are varied and often overlapping, most recent explications have sought to distinguish them. Under this perspective, both shame and guilt are viewed as self-conscious emotions involved in negative self-evaluation. The difference between the two is that, during a shame experience, the entire se ..read more

By: Luke Sniewski & Pani Farvid KEY FINDINGS This study analyzed how men with problematic pornography habits discuss the effects of their pornography use. Analysis showed that their pornography use is associated with guilt and shame, increased objectification, sexual dysfunction, unhealthy expectations for sex, and poorer self-esteem and mental health outcomes. The rapid rise in the availability of pornography has given the world instant access to a vast and diverse supply of pornographic material. Although it is possible for both genders to experience a problematic relationship with porn ..read more

By: Kerry Nenn Developing Self-Discipline: Once developed in your life, these positive disciplines will provide healthy alternatives to your old ways. As the urge arises to fall back into old habits of drug and alcohol use, you can turn to these activities instead. Your first two steps in this process are: Plan Ahead: Decide what you’re going to do ahead of time. “If I get the urge to drink, I’m going to go for a walk instead.” “If I suddenly want a a drink, I will call my friend.” “When I want to use drugs, I will write about it.”Don’t wait for the moment to arrive. Once you are in the midst ..read more

Article Contributed By: Ed Bolella, MDiv at South Florida Recovery Center “Why can’t you change!?” “If you loved me, you would just stop!” These and many other statements of pain and frustration are what many have heard or said in dealing with the experience of sexual addiction. Sex addiction causes devastation, pain, and betrayal. The challenge to understand for sex addicts, and those who love them, is that sexual addiction is a disease of the brain. My First Experiences with Addiction Many years ago, I served in Addiction Treatment in New York City. At that time there was a billboard campai ..read more

Written by Linda Hatch, PhD Many recovering sex addicts find it almost impossible to quit internet pornography once and for all. Internet porn is different from other sexual acting out behaviors; it hooks people faster and can have a powerful hold that leads to frequent relapses even if other, more serious behaviors have been relinquished. If you are addicted to sexual massage parlors or to serial affairs then you need to do at least some minimal planning. This allows for mindfulness strategies and other tools to help abort the behavior. Sexual imagery is everywhere, sometimes flashing on the ..read more

BY: Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW (The information contained in this post is for informational purposes only. Because of the serious nature of the disclosure process and the significant potential for harm due to improper use, this information should be used only in the context of a therapeutic process facilitated by a mental health professional trained in the use of formal therapeutic disclosure, and not as a self-help or do-it-yourself tool.) Sadly, most partners of sex addicts experience what is commonly referred to as “staggered disclosure.” Staggered disclosure is when a partner repeatedly d ..read more

By: Robert Weiss PhD, LCSW Although the American Psychiatric Association has willfully ignored our nations ongoing sex and porn addiction/compulsivity epidemic, other organizations, equally if not more prominent, have chosen to recognize the issue and act on it. Most notably, the World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its diagnostic manual, the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), to include Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder, with a definition that comfortably encompasses both sex and porn addiction and compulsivity. The WHO states: Compulsive sexual behavior disorder is ..read more