Six Tips for Holiday Survival
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
5h ago
Scott Brassart Whether we’re addicted, the loved one of an addict, or a “normie” (if there is such a thing), the holidays can be incredibly stressful. Thanks to social messaging (movies, TV, commercials, etc.) we feel like we need to be perfect—more so than usual even—during this supposedly joyful season. We think we need to cook the perfect meals, put out the best decorations, buy the most awesome gifts, and be the life of the party at all times (without going overboard and making fools of ourselves). And when one tiny little thing doesn’t go as planned, we feel like a failure. Our shame kick ..read more
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The 12 Steps Don’t Work for Me. I Just Don’t Fit In.
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
5d ago
The 12 Steps Don’t Work for Me. I Just Don’t Fit In. In this episode of Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction, Dr. Rob and Tami discuss what an addict can do if the 12-step program just isn’t for them. Should they stop going? Should they keep white-knuckling it? Tami offers resources for those who feel very out of place at these particular meetings. When it comes to recovery, getting the help you need and doing so correctly is the most important step in the process. The post The 12 Steps Don’t Work for Me. I Just Don’t Fit In. appeared first on Sex and Relationship Healing ..read more
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Identifying Unmet Dependency Needs
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
1w ago
Dr. Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT As infants, all human beings have the three primary needs – sustenance (food and water), shelter (home and protection), and nurturing (emotional connection). Infants are dependent on others for all three needs. Without the first two, they will die. Without the third, they become depressed and they fail to develop and thrive. These three basic needs do not go away as we grow older. We still need sustenance, shelter, and emotional connection as adults. And the consequences of going without are exactly the same, including depression and a failure to thrive when our bas ..read more
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Sexual Arousal Templates
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
2w ago
Dr. Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT Each of us has a “map” in our brain of what we find erotically appealing. The technical term for this map is “arousal template.” By the time we are 4 to 6 years old, our arousal template is largely in place, even though we are not yet sexual. As we age and experience life and sexuality, erotic elements can be added to (or, more accurately, uncovered within) our arousal template. But for the most part elements cannot be eliminated from an arousal template. Researchers do not fully understand how the various things to which we’re attracted appear in our arousal templa ..read more
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Am I Ready to Date Again as a Sex Addict?
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
2w ago
Am I Ready to Date Again as a Sex Addict? In this episode of Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction, Dr. Rob and Tami dive into when it makes sense for someone to date again after being sober and in recovery from sex, love, or porn addiction. This can be tricky for some professionals to determine, but Dr. Rob and Tami walk through some of the questions you need to ask yourself before you take that next step in recovery. Remember, the goal isn’t to have sex in the dating process, it’s to get to know that person. The post Am I Ready to Date Again as a Sex Addict? appeared first on Sex and Relationsh ..read more
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Chasing Intensity: The Need for Stimulation
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
3w ago
Dr. David Fawcett The potent mood-changing power of high-intensity, dopamine-related addictions such as stimulant drug addiction, pornography addiction, and sex addiction creates a super-stimulating effect that resets the brain’s reward circuitry, essentially hijacking the nature of the activities and behaviors that give us pleasure. Because stimulant drugs are both highly dissociative and heighten sexual desire, when they are coupled with porn or other sexual behaviors they represent a perfect storm for individuals seeking to escape from their everyday lives. Sexual minorities feeling shame ..read more
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He Blames Me for All of His Affairs. What???
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
3w ago
He Blames Me for All of His Affairs. What??? In this episode of Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction, Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a betrayed spouse whose sex addict husband isn’t doing the work. He says that he won’t act out anymore because she’s “fixed” after all the therapy she’s doing. What kind of logic is this? The post He Blames Me for All of His Affairs. What??? appeared first on Sex and Relationship Healing ..read more
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Intimacy vs. Pleasure
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
1M ago
Scott Brassart When you hear the word intimacy, what do you think of? If you’re like most people, you immediately think about sexual activity. As in, “My partner and I were intimate last night.” Meaning my partner and I had sex last night. It’s also possible your thinking is a bit broader when it comes to defining intimacy, especially if you’re in a process of healing from your own or your partner’s sex or porn addiction. In that case, you may think about intimacy as pleasurable emotional connection. As in, “My partner and I had the most wonderful conversation last night. We each shared our bi ..read more
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My 9-Year-Old Daughter Found Out About His Affairs and Now She’s Self-Harming
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
1M ago
My 9-Year-Old Daughter Found Out About His Affairs and Now She’s Self-Harming In this episode of Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction, Dr. Rob and Tami answer a question from a distraught mother who has no idea how to work through her daughter’s feelings and emotions about her father’s sexual betrayal. Despite the young daughter going to a therapist, the mother is receiving news from him that she should be 100% honest with her daughter about what’s happening in the household. Dr. Rob weighs in on how this isn’t healthy or good advice, and how to best approach this instead. The post My 9-Year-Old ..read more
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Foundation of Hope: 12 Steps with Dr. Jamie Marich and Dr. Stephen Dansiger
Sex and Relationship Healing Blog
by Scott Brassart
1M ago
Foundation of Hope: 12 Steps with Dr. Jamie Marich and Dr. Stephen Dansiger In this episode of Sex, Love, and Betrayal, Dr. Rob Weiss welcomes Dr. Jamie Marich and Dr. Stephen Dansiger to the show. Drs. Rob, Jamie, and Stephen talk about the 12 steps and how to use them in recovery. The post Foundation of Hope: 12 Steps with Dr. Jamie Marich and Dr. Stephen Dansiger appeared first on Sex and Relationship Healing ..read more
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