Send us a Text Message. What do you do with the story of your abuse? Who do you tell?  What do you tell them?  You will find yourself in many different situations with many different people where you will need to share the same story of your narcissistic abuse over and over again and it is actually important to make a conscious decision on how and what you are sharing with the different people. Today we are going to talk about discernment, specifically about sharing your story.  But the strategies here can generalize to many other areas where you need to make conscious and in ..read more

If you share more than one child with your narcissistic ex, then it is likely that you have seen your children treated differently. Oftentimes a narcissistic parent creates a dynamic where one child is “the golden child” and another is “the scapegoat.”  The golden child is treated much differently than the other children, getting more attention and special treatment, whereas a scapegoated child will take the brunt of the blame and shame for anything that is going wrong or that the narcissistic parent doesn’t like. But why does this dynamic persist and why is it so common? And more impo ..read more

What would it be like to get a full night sleep?  Or to be able to focus on the task at hand? After experiencing the trauma of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse many survivors find that their daily functioning completely goes away.  And this makes complete sense, right? The constant trauma while in the relationship and the continued trauma in the aftermath cause a myriad of problems for your physical and mental health. On the last episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast I explained many of the most common trauma modalities that therapists today are using to support survivors ..read more

If you have experienced relationship abuse, then you have experienced trauma. And even if you do not meet all of the requirements for post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) it is likely that some form of trauma therapy will be a helpful part of your healing journey. And if your children have experienced or witnessed any of the abuse or the aftermath of the abuse, then they have experienced trauma as well and will likely need some support. In this episode I am going to give you an overhead and general view of some of the possible trauma modalities that you may find beneficial and share the mos ..read more

Domestic violence and narcissistic abuse strips away your sense of self and autonomy.  One of the most important parts of the healing process is to rediscover who you are and what you value so that you can learn to trust yourself again. As you become curious about who you were before the abuse and who you would like to be after you heal it can be helpful to have a guide to understand what drives you, what challenges you, and your best attributes. On this episode I have a conversation with my dear friend and colleague, Talya Dash, LCSW about how to use the Enneagram to connect with yoursel ..read more

Summertime means fun in the sun, getting outdoors, swimming, camping and s'mores.  But will your abusive, high conflict co-parent allow you to enjoy the fun?  They will try to do everything they can to cause conflict and ruin these memory-making times with your children. In this episode we are going to touch on: The challenges that come with a change in transitions if your children have normally transitioned from house to house after school The challenges that arise with childcare and right of first refusal How they will try to ruin any of your planned vacations Extended family iss ..read more

If you are a victim or survivor of domestic violence or narcissistic abuse you will likely come into contact with a lot of our larger systems. One of them being Child Protective Services (CPS). This may bring up your greatest fear, one that your partner threatened on many occasions; that if you leave they will do everything to take your children away from you.  And if your abuser has done a good job at making you feel crazy and worthless, the possibility that CPS will take away your children feels imminent.   So, what can you do as the protective parent if CPS becomes involved in y ..read more

If you have ever felt powerless to help your children as they behave in ways that let you know that they are hurting or scared inside, this episode is for you. Parenting is hard even when you are not having to manage all that comes with post separation abuse; which includes the guilt and shame of what your children are experiencing. So, what can you do to help them and parent in a way that will build their resilience and foster your connection? I am so honored to share this conversation with Robyn Gobbel, MSW on the neuroscience behind our children’s behaviors, the differences between physi ..read more

It is episode 100 and we are flipping the script and doing something completely different.   My good friend, Lundy Bancroft is interviewing ME, so that you can get a behind the scenes look at how I got started doing this work and why I am so passionate about helping you. We touch on the lack of training mental health professionals get specific to working with domestic violence and coercive control, some of the shifts in the field that I have seen and the shifts that need to happen, how I make decisions that are in the best interest of the survivors I serve and more. This was a fun episode ..read more

How do you know when you are ready to date again after leaving an abusive relationship? It is common that folks find themselves in two camps: I will never date again as long as I live I jumped into a relationship too fast and found myself another abusive, narcissistic A-hole But, for those of you in the middle, this question comes up often.   There is no one right way to make this decision, however there are some commonalities in the things you need to see within yourself in order to best make this decision.  Because there is not one right way, I asked two friends and colleagues to ..read more