How does co-parenting change when either you or your narcissistic ex partner finds a new significant other? What role does your new partner play in the situation? Safety Alert: Oftentimes your abuser will increase their intensity of post separation abuse when you find a new partner.  This is not meant to scare, only to inform. First, it is important to have open communication with your new partner before things become extremely serious.  This means that you will need to wrap your own mind around what your relationship looks like, develop the skills needed to share this with your p ..read more

Documentation is extremely important for victims and survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse.  But is what you are documenting really going to matter?  And how can we keep it safe? In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, I interview Sheri Kurdakul on her experience as a survivor, the shortcomings of the family court system and other larger systems, and why she decided to create Victims Voice.  She critiques the existing legal and therapeutic approaches to domestic violence, especially the requirement of mandatory co-parenting in such situations, and calls fo ..read more

Everyone that knows anything about our family court system knows that it continues to harm survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse.  Most want extreme court reform, while those that benefit would like to keep it just like it is. In this episode I share my experience testifying at the House Judiciary Committee in support of HB24-1350 and how listening to the opposition and those who showed up in the amendment position spotlighted areas that were unclear.  This changed my view of the bill from a support position to an amended position. By the time you listen to this epi ..read more

Everyone talks about the financial abuse that occurs when you are in an abusive relationship.  But what happens after you leave? The financial abuse continues during post separation abuse and oftentimes gets worse.  When an abuser believes they are losing control of their victim, they will adapt, intensify and find other ways to abuse.   This includes refusing to pay child support or becoming under or unemployed so they do not have to pay as much child support.  But the main way in which a narcissist will continue their financial abuse post separation is through continued ..read more

What role should extended family play in your life and your children’s lives after divorcing a narcissist? Your divorce will have a ripple effect on those in yours and your children’s lives and your extended family will feel this.  Your ex’s extended family will also be impacted.  The role they get to have in your life and your children’s lives will vary depending on the situation and your relationship with each of them.  In this episode I share some things to think about to help you make decisions on what role you would like them to play. First and foremost, it is important t ..read more

Has the constant stress from your narcissistic relationship and continued post separation abuse had a negative impact on your physical health? It is common that the constant hypervigilance and ongoing trauma will cause problems with sleep, your digestive system, your immune system…basically all of your systems. Is there anything you can do about it? In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast I talk with Stephanie Small, LCSW on a more holistic approach to regaining your physical and emotional health as you heal from abuse.  How can you use nutrition and supplements to accelerate your ..read more

When addiction intersects with domestic violence and narcissistic abuse scary things can happen. The intensity of abuse typically increases and leaves so many women off balance. Many victims hold onto the hope that if their partner becomes sober, they will no longer be abusive and this is the explanation many perpetrators of abuse will use to continue abusing their partners. And while there are significant parallels between families who experience addiction and families who experience domestic violence, one does not cause the other. My guest today is an expert in the family dynamics of add ..read more

You finally left your narcissistic partner and find yourself a single parent.  (Let’s be real here, you were basically a single parent before)  And being a single parent is HARD! You’re working, maintaining a home, helping with homework, planning meals, driving to the extra curricular activities, and more.  And, you likely also have a full time job mitigating everything that comes up during post separation abuse. So, is there a way to get it all done and save your sanity? There is a way.  In this episode, I am going to share some strategies that you can use to start to f ..read more

How often are you kicking yourself because you said “Yes” to something when you didn’t have the time or backed down and agreed to one of your ex’s requests because you just wanted to avoid the conflict? Being a victim of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse will lead to fawning or people-pleasing behaviors as a way to maintain safety and the idea of control and calm. People pleasing was a skill that kept you safe but it is something that you do not want to continue forever. In this episode we are going to discuss how people-pleasing develops and some strategies to become more empowered ..read more

How often are you kicking yourself because you said “Yes” to something when you didn’t have the time or backed down and agreed to one of your ex’s requests because you just wanted to avoid the conflict? Being a victim of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse will lead to fawning or people-pleasing behaviors as a way to maintain safety and the idea of control and calm. People pleasing was a skill that kept you safe but it is something that you do not want to continue forever. In this episode we are going to discuss how people-pleasing develops and some strategies to become more empowered ..read more