The blended family. It sounds so perfect. After all, the Brady Bunch seemed pretty happy, didn’t they? What the iconic seventies sitcom never showed us was that Mrs. Brady almost assuredly got on the boys’ nerves, at times, and the girls probably wished they could spend some time alone with just their mom—without the rest of the clan. And, we would be willing to bet there were times when one of the girls said to their mother, “He can’t tell me what to do, he’s not even my real dad!” Get the picture? The blended family advantages and disadvantages are many.   We each understand the blended ..read more

Abuse is not always as obvious as a physical altercation. In fact, many victims of abuse may not even realize they are in an abusive relationship because it doesn’t involve physical violence. That’s why I so often hear the question, “If he didn’t hit me is it abuse?” Abuse can take various forms, and it’s essential to recognize the signs and understand that abuse is not limited to just physical harm. I was a victim and survivor of abuse and now I’m a thriver, but the dark days are etched in my memory. I went from one abusive relationship to another, not realizing I was being abused until it wa ..read more

Saying I’m sorry isn’t something a lot of people know how to do. It’s difficult for many reasons, which is why so many people often don’t say it–even during times when an apology is much needed. Love means never having to say you’re sorry” might be one of the most famous movie lines of all time. But while I’m a huge fan of the 1970 film,” Love Story,” I have to say I completely disagree with this now well-known catchphrase. If you are truly in love, there aren’t too many things that mean more than a warranted apology. But I feel like people have such a hard time saying ‘I’m sorry’ and I’m not ..read more

A member posted this message on the DGS Facebook Group page, regarding second marriage after 50: What topics should you make sure you and a partner discuss before you consider a second marriage after 50? I’ve read articles but they all address a first marriage when you’re young. I’d like topics to make sure we discuss at this stage in our lives. We are both 50 years old, we both have careers, and we both have older kids. Here’s my advice: Second marriage after 50! Wow! Isn’t it wonderful? Just a few years ago, you got divorced, and probably never dreamed about a second marriage. Well, here you ..read more

Is falling in love with someone else when you’re married possible? What I mean is, I’ve heard many people say that they fell in love with someone else while married, and I just don’t know. On one hand, I could see how someone who was in a marriage and unhappy for a long time could possibly meet someone and fall in love. The person would have had to have been very lonely for a long, long time, and known deep down inside that the marriage wasn’t working, and/or that the spouse wasn’t the right person for him or her. I could also see situations where the husband/wife is abusive, doesn’t treat the ..read more

I hear so often from men and women having marital issues, as well as couples going through a divorce, that one or both partners keeps bringing up the past. What does bringing up the past mean? It can mean a few different things:   1. What each person did when they were single (before they even knew each other). For example, “I can’t believe you were such a womanizer and slept with all those women!” or “You had a one night stand when you were 21?!” 2. What each did in the early years of dating and/or marriage. For example, “You know that you never changed one diaper when our children were ..read more

From a reader: I’m wondering, ‘Is my husband cheating?’ In the last year, my husband has taken an interest in colognes and new underwear. And, his data on his cell phone shows crazy high usage. I have asked if he has a girlfriend and he has denied it. Our sex life has diminished through the years so I am guessing that the signs lead to someone else, but I am afraid to try and learn more. Any thoughts on next steps?   Let me start by saying I’m very sorry that you have to wonder, ‘Is my husband cheating.’ I’m sure this is a difficult time. The not knowing must be frustrating and hard to de ..read more

When someone finds out their spouse is cheating or cheated, it’s awful. I’ve personally been there—not in my marriage but in another relationship. It’s like you just got punched in the stomach, and you keep feeling like you are repeatedly getting punched in the stomach for days, even weeks. But what happens when the physical cheating didn’t actually occur, meaning it was an emotional affair only? Is it worse? Better? And is recovering from an emotional affair possible? Finding out your spouse cheated is shocking (even for those who suspected it. It can feel infuriating, and make you feel like ..read more

Second marriage is something that each divorced person views differently. Some have no fear and can’t wait to walk down the aisle again, other’s are unsure of whether or not it’s right for them, and then there are people who say no way, and feel that second marriage problems are just too much to bear. Here’s is one reader’s very dark view of second marriage problems: No matter how you look at it, anyone who marries someone who is divorced is inheriting a second marriage problems; a bad situation right from the start. Otherwise, the person they are marrying would never have divorced their previ ..read more

From a reader: My husband is miserable in our marriage. We have been together for over 20 years. Things started getting really bad when he became very unhappy with this job (and life in general it seemed) about 5 years ago. We seem to have very different ideas about how to approach life’s challenges. I just take things as they come and understand that it’s life and it gets better. When something isn’t working out for him, he becomes very depressed and impulsive and has fits of rage directed toward me.   Things have never gotten physical, but I find myself increasingly frightened when thes ..read more