One of the biggest triggers in a relationship or marriage is personalizing your partner's behavior. This one relationship tendency causes a multitude of misunderstandings, verbal disagreements, and arguments. When we are offended by our spouse's snarky remarks or disrespect, our defenses rise and we position ourselves for a comeback, or a cold war! How do we hold the line for respect while refraining from hurtful behavior ourselves? Estimated reading time: 5 minutes ..read more

After decades of a happy marriage (learning the hard knocks way) and coaching couples for almost as long, I’ve learned that every couple needs a few indispensable relationship skills. If you master them, they set the foundation for a healthy and happy relationship. Drop one of these skills, and all the rest will be affected. Estimated reading time: 4 minutes ..read more

As a parent coach, I see all kinds of parenting styles. I’ve seen firsthand how challenging it can be when parents disagree on how their children should be raised and disciplined. These differences can be a source of continual arguments in nuclear and blended families alike. Are you ready for a new perspective and strategy to co-parent harmoniously? Estimated reading time: 4 minutes ..read more

Becoming a parent is a life-changing and joyous experience, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. With the arrival of a new baby, sleepless nights, diaper changes, and endless feeding schedules are demanding, so it’s easy for couples to find themselves drifting apart. Studies show that mothers experience a sudden decline in relationship satisfaction after the birth of their first child, whereas dads experience a more gradual decline between months 6 to 14. Estimated reading time: 4 minutes ..read more

Conflict. Power Struggles. Arguments. They are relational challenges—and opportunities—for closeness and understanding in a romantic relationship. There's a catch: we need to know how to resolve our differences and deal with a power struggle in a relationship. A previous client reminded me just how powerful it can be when we identify the roots of our relationship issues. We hadn’t worked together for years, but when I ran into her, she told me that a one-liner I gave her from a coaching session had totally changed her life. Maybe the insight will help you, too. Estimated reading time: 4 minut ..read more

In the first few years of my marriage, resentment was a frequent companion. It bubbled up so often that one day, I committed to explore why and set a goal to reach ZERO resentment. Ambitious, I know. Fast forward to today. As a veteran in teaching emotional intelligence and having coached hundreds of couples over the years, I’ve discovered why relationship resentment is such a common splinter. However, what most people don’t recognize is the personal responsibility that is required to live resentment-free. Estimated reading time: 5 minutes ..read more

When my husband and I were first married, I was anything but pleasant whenever he called me during a workday. Interrupting my focus irritated me until I realized that in relationships and parenting, interruptions are opportunities for loving connection! I was reminded of this bedrock of our relationship last week when my husband left the following phone message: “My heart is broken that I missed your call!” (So if you call me and get a full mailbox, it’s likely filled with my husband’s love messages saved for replaying.) The week before, he told me that his heart flutters every time he s ..read more

When landscaping a yard and garden, we rarely plant randomly. Often, we hire an expert to draw up a design, or we spend considerable time planning and choosing flowers and bushes perfect for the soil, moisture, and light in the area. Having a blueprint helps us create a beautiful, low-maintenance garden and yard. Then we take plenty of time to prepare the soil with compost, manure, peat moss, and sand to get just the right consistency.  But do we take this same care for our relationships? Estimated reading time: 4.5 minutes ..read more

Whether you have kids or not, in any household, what you DO have is an abundance of jobs that need to be done regularly. Someone’s got to be the janitor who sweeps up, the family banker, pet feeder, entertainment coordinator, grocery shopper.... the list goes on and on. And if you are parents, someone must spearhead the parenting division by planning daycare, school lunches, parent-teacher conferences, sporting events, and summer camps. Wow, there's a TON to track and complete! Marriage conflict seems inevitable when you say it out loud. Estimated reading: 4 minutes ..read more

Research shows that open communication is the best predictor of relationship satisfaction. But when you're rushing to work, working a full day, picking the kids up from school, then off to soccer practice, who has time for a meaningful conversation? Our schedules can be relentless! An open, honest conversation about your relationship might feel like the last thing you want to do at the end of a long day. And when you finally sit down to talk with your partner, you might find yourself nodding and saying "uh-huh" more than staying present. Although a half-hearted response is understandable, it ..read more