“I ran too fast, too far, too long on too many borrowed miles. And then it hit me like something just plain awful. I have been a psychological, spiritual, and emotional mess. I need to refine my life, my marriage, and my parenting so I can live again.” —A mother of three teenagers “I want the kind of marriage that makes my kids want to get married.” —Emily Wierenga “A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.” —André Maurois Has stress and busyness pushed you into a danger zone with your life and marriage? Many families with teenagers are living life at 120 percent. Ph ..read more

Why is it that some marriages die while others thrive? I’m convinced that the reason is really quite simple. Relationships die along what I like to call the “path of protection,” while thriving relationships flourish along the “path of growth.” Now, any relationship might seem fine on the outside. But introduce a little conflict to the mix, and you’ll find out in a hurry which “path” your marriage is on. When confronted with a problem, the dying relationship is only interested in one thing–protection against pain. Both parties involved avoid personal responsibility fo ..read more

The desire to be perfect or to have a perfect mate and marriage is something I see a lot in the couples I counsel, as well as in the marriages of my friends. We all want things to go smoothly and believe the lie that aiming for perfection will bring us to a blissful state. However, in my experience, the more I try to pursue perfection in life and marriage, the more I invariably miss the mark and find myself discouraged and discontent. Ironically, it’s really easy to spot our mate’s perfectionism, but not so easy to see it in our own lives. Allow me to pose some questions that might bring this ..read more

by Anna Collins, Community Manager at Marriage 365 Anger doesn’t have to be negative, but oftentimes we allow it to be so. At the heart of anger there is a rallying cry inside of us that is screaming “THIS IS UNFAIR”, and instead of channeling it into positive action, we channel it into a negative ball of energy that reinforces our negative self-talk… that life is unfair toward us and that we can’t have something we feel like we should. Anger can be an opportunity to recognize that something isn’t working and can create a pathway for positive change. The difference is your perspective. If som ..read more

My wife, Cathy, dragged me to our first couples small group. I believe in small groups, but the last thing I needed in my already busy ministry life was another obligation to lead. Cathy promised they didn’t want my leadership. From the first evening, I liked it. We talked about real issues. We assumed our marriages and families were not perfect. Seven years later, I realized that those couples had helped raise our children while supporting our marriage. This community of believers had lived out Galatians 6:2 – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ ..read more

by Meygan Caston, Marriage 365 Our words are powerful, aren’t they? The words we speak can either bring life and connection to the relationship or they can destroy trust and cause hurt feelings. Words have real consequences. They affect how people perceive us, they affect how people respond to us, and they ultimately affect the quality of our marriage. While working with couples, I’ve learned that many people don’t fully understand which phrases are hurtful and why. It may seem obvious to some, but I wanted to clearly list the phrases you have to stay away from and explain why they ..read more

PEOPLE SAY MARRIAGE IS SO COMPLICATED. While I think we are all complicated people, I don’t think how we love is always as complicated; it’s just not always easy. I think the more accurate description is: marriage is so close. When we get married, everything about you and everything about them collide. Your differences and similarities are now in ultra-close proximity. We all bring baggage into marriage, figuratively and literally. You push buttons, they push buttons, and you are left wondering, what was all that about? Your differences are also having to dance on the regular. Perhaps yo ..read more

I LIKE PEOPLE. I DO. In fact, my wife, Nancie, said to me once, “I love this about you, but I think you even like people most people don’t.” But even I have my limits. There is one person who has always been in my life, who can push my buttons now, but used to drive me crazy all day every day. Who is this guy? This guy is me. I used to really struggle with how I think about myself. In fact, I’ve named the speaker of these negative thoughts in my mind, Fred. Fred in my head. And Fred is a jerk. I have found many people have their own Fred in their heads. Do you? If so, does he criticize your a ..read more

Fight getting lost in life’s daily routine by actively choosing to express gratitude for your spouse. Take the time to truly value your marriage. Change things up, go the extra mile, and keep the heat going in the fireplace of your marriage! Get your sexy on Express thanks with your body. Pick a day this week to be physically intimate with your spouse. Decide ahead of time, do a little bit of planning, and surprise your spouse. Ladies, shave your legs. Men, shave your face the way your wife likes it. Wear clothing your spouse loves you in. Whatever the “norm” is in your marriage for sexual ..read more

I recently had the privilege to speak to several hundred couples at our Refreshing Your Marriage conference. Without a doubt, the number one issue facing the majority of these marriages is busyness. We heard it over and over. I shared a story from my first year of marriage where I seemed to make the same mistake repeatedly. I was coming home late for dinner. My wife, Cathy, was (and still is) very patient. During our first year of marriage, she would call me in the afternoon and ask about my arrival time for dinner at home. She was always cheerful and flexible and didn’t mandate a time t ..read more