Are gender roles in marriage okay if both partners are growth-oriented and genuinely kind-hearted? Whenever I talk about “female submission” and “male leadership,” someone will respond with a variation of why gender roles are good for healthy marriages. Gender roles or “biblical manhood and womanhood” is a belief that sees men as the God-ordained leaders... The post Are Gender Roles in Marriage Okay as Long as There’s No Abuse? appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

“Marriage is not supposed to make you happy; it’s a ministry” is a message that can lead to terrible outcomes for women. This week, a reader sent me a video clip of someone being interviewed on national TV.* In the video, she argues that marriage is not intended to make us happy because it’s a... The post Why Viewing Marriage as a “Ministry” Can Harm Women appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

We know we don’t want the bad marriage stuff, but what does the good actually look like?  Not everyone who reads my blog is married or wants to get married. I also know many are dealing with very difficult marriage situations. Others, like myself, are fortunate to be married to kind-hearted, growth-oriented spouses and are... The post Here’s What a Healthy Marriage Actually Looks Like appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

Meet Julie.  Julie is a well-rounded person. She’s strong (in that non-assuming way) and confident. She can tune into the needs of her relationship while still being in touch with her own needs and feelings. She has a deep laugh and an easy demeanor. When her friends want to cover over, her family hosts within their... The post Wives Deserve Happiness in Marriage Too appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

“How is marriage?” After a few months of being married, I found this question was as common as my morning cup of tea. I now know what folks wanted to hear: that marriage is fun and exciting and that I was on the upswing every single day. Unfortunately, while marriage was sweet and exciting, it... The post Had Enough of Marriage Conspiracies? How to Identify What’s Real appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

Is it possible to have a happy marriage..without gender-specific roles, 24/7 sacrifice, and the death of your personhood?  We know that growth and fulfillment as a couple are not handed on a silver platter, but what if cultural and religious conditioning makes the intentional work of marriage significantly harder? What if you could learn how... The post It’s Here! My Book The Newlyweds: Pursuing Mutuality, Health, and Happiness in Marriage is Now Available! appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

“Men have a soft underbelly.” His tone was low and conspiratorial. The kind that made you feel like you were learning a well-kept secret. I don’t know if the men in our congregation relished having their secrets outed out like that. But I know our pastor’s admission that men are not a solid block of... The post Embracing Softness in Husbands: Why Gentle Partners Win appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

The Christian marriage advice space is filled with individuals presenting personal preferences as absolutes. Let’s take finances, for example. A while ago, I asked on my Facebook page how many people were advised to open joint bank accounts or merge their finances in some way.   In the comments, many talked of joint bank accounts being... The post Personal Preference or Marriage Absolute? (Plus, The Newlyweds is Now Available on Pre-order!) appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

I’ve been away from the blog, recovering from surgery and while away, someone left a comment under an older post on Instagram that got me thinking. Now, we can’t influence people who don’t want to wrestle with a different point of view. A part of me knows that. But another part really wants to convince... The post Gender Roles, Evangelical Fundamentalism, and The Justifications We Make for Harmful Behavior appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

Have you heard the saying, “Married people give up too easily”? Or its cousin, “Married Christians just need to trust God more?” Have you noticed how this duo often appears when discussing deeply problematic marriage situations? While not every “hard marriage” has dynamics of power and control (and some people end their marriage for reasons... The post Why Christians Don’t Get Married to Get Divorced appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more