Hello everybody! Until further notice, I will only be posting through my life coaching website – same content, just a different domain/website. Please click on the link below to visit my website and subscribe to receive email notification of new posts (click “subscribe to newsletter”). I appreciate all of your support! Your support, feedback, and referrals help me reach a greater number of people who could benefit from my services as a life coach, a writer and a photographer! /https://chrisjcoach.com/ WHAT IS A LIFE COACH? I specialize in working with transgender people but you do not have to ..read more

Questioning Gender? Start here! There is no right or wrong way to be trans.  Just because you are not cisgender, does not mean you have to adopt any particular definition of being transgender. Trans people can live happy and fulfilling lives, find partners and be in healthy relationships.  Trans people are not doomed to sad and difficult lives.  Trans and non-binary people get married and find partners just like cis people.  Trans people are attractive just like cis people. A person does not have to be “feminine” to be female or “masculine” to be male.  If you choose ..read more

Avoid Regret and Support Transgender Children Do you ever worry about regret? My Nana is almost 101 years old.  She has been in home hospice for almost two years and most of the time, she no longer recognizes her own children.  Her eyes look without seeing; her mouth moves without speaking; and her mind seems to exist without thinking. Rigidly frail. Her children change her diapers.  I started wondering what it would be like to no longer communicate with your children – to never have said goodbye, or I’m sorry. What would it feel like to never have closure over past grievances ..read more

Myth Busters for Transgender Spectrum people There is no right or wrong way to be trans.  You can transition. Or not.  You can take hormones. Or not.  You can start hormones then stop. You can come out to people before starting HRT or you can start HRT then come out to people six months later. Choosing no medical transition is just as valid as any other decision. You can be stealth; you can be openly trans. Just because you are not cisgender, does not mean you have to adopt any particular definition. You don’t have to be “feminine” to be female or “masculine” to be male.  ..read more

Do Men Cheat Due to High Testosterone Levels? No doubt testosterone is a powerful, motivating force– after all, evolution created a powerful drive, capable of ensuring the survival of a species.  Testosterone is one of the fuels that is responsible for creating new life, new generations, and ensuring the continuation of humanity – no small achievement!  Nature has been intelligent enough to not create a wimpy, indifferent and unreliable force that is responsible for reproduction – and ultimately, whether or not humans fade out and off this planet.  Testosterone is like rocket f ..read more

Every individual on the transgender spectrum is unique as is their personal journey, beliefs and experiences although I venture a guess that there is one issue we can all agree is a nuisance:  Bathrooms. If every business would just create gender neutral – single room/stall restrooms, this world would be a better place!  Not just for trans-spectrum people but for cis-people too. Afterall, what person really enjoys going next to a bunch of random strangers?? The hang-up that probably took the longest time to sort out when I first started transitioning and coming out, was definitely t ..read more

Reducing the Stigma of Being Transgender Will my trans kid have a normal life? Will anyone want to date them or will they be alone forever? Is the fact that they are transgender going to be the first and only thing people see in them? These are all common and valid questions and concerns! First, just a reminder that people don’t have a hard time because they are transgender; they have a hard time because society decided that being transgender is a bad thing.  Being transgender is not inherently a negative thing. Furthermore, being transgender does not automatically doom a person to a har ..read more

Will my transgender child have a normal life? Will anyone want to date them or will they be alone forever? Is the fact that they are transgender going to be the first and only thing people see in them? These are all common and valid questions and concerns! First, just a reminder that people don’t have a hard time because they are transgender; they have a hard time because society decided that being transgender is a bad thing.  Being transgender is not inherently negative. Furthermore, being transgender does not automatically doom a person to a hard life. More on that here. I know many tr ..read more

A phase – a temporary process of discovery – can be a liberating period of one’s life and lead to genuine growth.  By honoring “phases”, we allow children a safe space to change their mind or change their identity without backlash, repercussion or the infamous, “I told you so!”.  Dismissal of phases invalidates one’s ability to change.  You might unknowingly send messages that a child is worthy of support and belief only when their identity is not a phase.  We are teaching kids that identities must be set in stone and that gender must be permanent in order to be valid.&nbs ..read more

Kirby circa 2006 ( Sep 2002-March 2016) How did I not die with you?   Dying is the state of my existence for the past few days – the emotional neurons of my brain firing degenerated signals from corroded synapses, pathways to my heart completely inundated with agony, each cell just dying from the inside out, each exploding in its personal supernova hell.  Cell death.  Emotional chaos. Fireworks of what was once the color that saturated my world, bleeding and draining out of my life. Destined now to tread painted water, already colorblind and unable to feel anything.   Deafe ..read more