Never sell your saddle.  I remember seeing this meme on social media once: don’t sell your saddle and there was something that hit me deep; a deep truth that went beyond the saddle itself. “Don’t sell your saddle, Don’t give up on your dreams.  Take time to see them through, there is no magic recipe, hard work makes them come true….” My saddle is currently sitting in Canada under my mom’s supervision.  It’s been sitting there since I made the move 8 years ago to Australia; but one day I will have it with me again. I remember when I bought my saddle; a Bob’s Custom Duane ..read more

  “If I can prevent this from happening to any other little girl...”  That’s what I use to say in the early years living with alopecia areata.  I hated this disease. It took away my identity as well as my hair. It was my dark shameful little secret for so much of my life. Needless to say a lot has changed over the course of nearly forty years. I was first diagnosed with alopecia areata when I was about 9 years old.  Mom took me to our dermatologist hoping to find out why I was losing my hair in patches.  There wasn’t a lot of information back in the eighties concerning ..read more

  For the last few months, I have been experiencing hair growth on my head.  At this stage, it is still fine blo nde hairs thinly scattered in an un-uniform way.  When I did have hair it was dark brown and thick; also the few years before going universalis I was seeing grey hairs!!  I was colouring my hair as to hide these nasty greys.  Funny thing about looking back; back then I was worried about hiding grey hairs.  Then it was hiding the bald spots.  Why is it growing this way? Why is it blonde? Why is the growth so scattered?  Why now?  What is g ..read more

When you love someone, truly love someone you have to work on the relationship constantly.  Its like every relationship you enter in to.  From personal to professional, you must be aware of changes, problems, and emotions and you must be willing to share whats on your mind.  Like a best friend ( and isn't your mate not your best friend ) you confine in them, you tell them if something is bothering you or some change that is going on.  To hold it in and not share is to actively sabotage your relationship. And when you add distance to the scenario the need to be open and comm ..read more

  With the recent FDA approval of the drug “Olumiant” (baricitinib) to treat alopecia; it has gotten me thinking of choices.  The choices we all have concerning how about we navigate thru this journey of alopecia. Alopecia takes  away the one fundamental choice we had prior to our first sighting of that clean bald skin, that coin size area where once we had our lush locks. It takes away the choice of what we do with our hair; cut, curl, colour, and style how we want and when we want.  We watch this area like a hawk and if you were like me started to count the hairs in my ha ..read more

 This is an apology to my Self; to my body, to my mind and to my soul.  For all the things I did to myself over the years. Starting from my childhood, into the years of anxiety and depression and the years of treatments I did to regrow my hair.  I want to also want to say this: that I don’t regret what I have done for without that I would not be where I am today.  I find myself entering into another phase of self-exploration and self-love.  When I first shaved my head and decided I was done with all those painful treatments.  Treatments that not only physically hu ..read more

I find myself looking at a new stage, a new bend, a new dip and climb in this roller coaster ride of living with alopecia.  I could say that this ride started back when I was 8 years old when I was first diagnosed with alopecia. But in truth I look at the real ride starting when I entered into social media and found others just like me. When I was 8, alopecia was completely unknown to me and my family.  My mom was frantically looking to treat her little girl and that little girl not truly understanding what was happening other than one day having to put on her first wig.  And ..read more

One year ago today I went for my medical for my Australia visa; not only was this day much awaited and anticipated but the course of the day was anxiety filled and crazy. I have waited to get the go ahead to take my medical for months and I knew that this was one of the final stages that I had to do for my PMV (prospective marriage visa); the other being my police clearance.  I had carefully booked my appointments for this day, scheduling it around my work schedule.  I had everything mapped out and planned; that was until my jeep decided it needed to go in for service.  I brou ..read more

I have been living in Australia for a month now, and it still seems a bit surreal.  Surreal being that after all these years of thinking and wishing, I am finally in the same time zone, same city, under the same roof with the man that I love.  Seven years ago with a chance meeting on an online poker room, I will be marrying this man this year.  All those years ago with no thought of love much less marriage, we met and became fast friends, sharing our stories and pictures, not even meeting until 2 years ago.  This moment now has all I have been thinking about for years and ..read more

I consider myself blessed, yes blessed.  Some of you after reading this might not agree; but looking at it in a different perspective you can see what I mean.  I have alopecia universalis; this means that I have an autoimmune disease that has robbed me of my hair.  And choosing to live my life as a “fabulous” bald woman without head covering, a lot of times it is assumed that I have cancer and going through chemotherapy.  A lot of alopecians hate this assumption and there were days where I too thought this.  But lately my thoughts on this have changed.  I look at ..read more