BREAKING: Figs Scrubs made DNR by Female DO Hospitalist
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Naan DerThaal
6M ago
Los Angeles, CA – After gradually wedging their way into the hearts and minds of healthcare professionals across the US and the world, Figs has been made DNR. The brand known for their form-fitting, over-priced, low-quality scrubs promoted by Instagram influencers/medical students has finally tripped over their own overpriced, designer shoes.  Prior to today, Figs had made a market for themselves by sending a free pair of their shitty scrubs to medical students, nurses, PA’s and other healthcare professionals in exchange for copious posts artificially inflating the quality and comfo ..read more
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Amazing! This surgeon thinks he can start a case at 3pm!
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Lord Lockwell
6M ago
Sacramento, CA – Dr. Atul, a general surgeon, who evidently graduated from medical school thinks he can actually start a surgical case a 3pm! What an idiot!!! Dr. Atul, who passed his surgical boards, was seen at the control desk at 3:17pm asking why his patient was not in the OR. “My case was scheduled 17 minutes ago!” he was overheard sounding frustrated at the charge nurse. Dr. Atul, who is normally well-liked and friendly to all the OR staff, even Anesthesia, is totally baffled that ORs around the country completely shut down from 2:40 to 3:30. No way will nurses start a case after 2:30pm ..read more
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New “Code 7/19” Intubation Protocol Keeps Day Nurse Around to Finish Sstorm He Started
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Gomerblog Team
6M ago
The time is 1859 and pagers throughout the ICU begin to chirp. It’s time: Tube O’clock. This simple and easy protocol was designed to ensure each patient is tubed NO SOONER than five minutes before death or one hour after end of Nursing shift. All pending intubations will now take place at 0700 & 1900: – 1900: Intern to approach nurse beginning shift report and state, “We are intubating patient right now”. Should nurse have questions, redirect to resident. – 1903: Resident to answer on 8th call from nurse. Redirect nurse to Fellow should nurse have questions. – 1904: Fellow to answer nurs ..read more
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Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Dr. 99
6M ago
QUEENS, NY – In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but also did his own admission orders and H&P when it turned out his concerns warranted further work-up. “I can’t always expect someone to hold my hand through everything in life, including when medical issues pop up,” explained Max Adderley, who states he’s noticed his stool turning black since yesterday.  “I realized I needed to take ownership of my own health, to advocate for myself.” Health care professionals always applau ..read more
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Online NP Programs to Eliminate Clinical Requirements to Maximally Exploit COVID19
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Naan DerThaal
6M ago
Austin, TX –  In the past several months while the country has been undersiege from the Coronavirus, numerous political and professional groups have taken full advantage of the crisis to promote their own agendas.  “We’ve been sending NPs out in independent practice with 5% of the training of actual residency trained physicians. How much of a difference does it really make if they have 95% less training or 100% less training than real physicians?” The American Association of Nurse Practitioners has been at the forefront of this pushing for unsupervised NP practice in an un ..read more
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Surgeon Happiness Declared Risk Factor for Surgical Site Infection by AORN
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Naan DerThaal
6M ago
Denver, CO – AORN President Missi Merlino, MHA, CNOR, CSSM, BFD, WTF, OPP, GED announced a new recommendation this week.  These stupid recommendations have got to stop! “Based on zero evidence whatsoever, AORN has determined that Surgeon happiness is a risk factor for surgical site infection. We used our standard investigative techniques including asking random people what they think and ignoring actual scientific studies in coming to this recommendation.” RN Merlino stated.  “We have found that surgeon happiness correlates directly with infections. The amazing part is we came ..read more
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Updated 2020 COVID-19 Algorithm
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Dr. 99
6M ago
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CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Dr. 99
6M ago
ATLANTA, GA – Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before and after every encounter with a patient with suspected or confirmed COVID-19. In a matter of months, the pandemic coronavirus has infected millions and killed tens of thousands worldwide. While the race is on to discover effective treatments and a vaccine, what largely guides current treatment paradigms is anecdotal at best. The rapid depletion of personal protective equipment including masks has led the CDC to brainstorm creative wa ..read more
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Nurses Excited to Make Their Own PPE
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Lord Lockwell
6M ago
A national shortage of personal protective equipment or PPE is forcing nurses to get creative. “I’m so happy to live in a country where supplies to make my own PPE are readily available!” nurse Shannon told her admin Thursday. “It was so easy. I went to Wal-Mart and bought myself a sewing machine. Then I ordered allergy-filter vacuum bags from Amazon Prime, cut them up, and sewed them to fabric I bought from Hobby Lobby. Grabbed some elastic bands and I had myself some PPE!” She went on to say excitedly, “I can’t imagine another country where I could make my own mask, and get all the materia ..read more
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Exhausted RN to Go Home with Home Health Services
GomerBlog » Nursing
by Dr. 99
6M ago
FORT MYERS, FL – Deconditioned, weak, and perpetually hypoglycemic from such a prolonged hospital shift, exhausted RN Catherine Weal will be sent home with home health services. “It was her sixth straight 12-hour shift, and we all know that 12 hours is a best-case scenario especially around the holidays,” explained sympathetic social worker Jason Grimes, who helped with Weal’s home health arrangements. “Her patient load was unbearable, and they were all really sick. That stage 3 sacral decubitus ulcer from charting all day looks bad. Her feet are all swollen from running around all day. She w ..read more
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