I reactivated one of my socials for the first time since the breakup. Literally first post I saw was him! I didn’t even remember he wasn’t blocked on there. It sucks because I’m so sad today already and miserable on my period. I reactivated to get my friend’s number because she had went through a bad breakup not too long ago and I wanted to talk to her. I’m not going back on to socials for a while. I looked at his page and I didn’t see anything bad but I just started crying. I miss him so much but I will not reach out or do this to myself anymore. I am just so disappointed in myself. submitt ..read more

Someone recommended me this subreddit so here’s my situation. I’m 23 m and my “gf” 28 f has bpd. She tells me now she doesn’t. But objectively looking at situations and her behavior I can safely say she does. Which I feel for her, I love her she means the world to me and this has made it extremely hard for us to have any type of healthy relationship. She’ll get mad and everything I say after that point is nothing to her. I become nothing to her. Then she leaves and I’m left heartbroken. She just left yesterday. She’s left countless times before and 2 other times for a long amount of time. She ..read more

I had a really good therapy session today. I came home and received a tracking package addressed to her. I plan on blacking out my address and returning to sender. My ex has been popping by my parents. She only met them a couple of times. My parents have her blocked. Truly mentally and physically I’m done. There is no going back. Even though she is very much alive I treat it as if she died. I think these are Hoover attempts. Before anyone says maybe it’s a subscription she forgot about nope she ordered it on 29th with my home address per tracking. I’ve told her multiple times prior to no cont ..read more

Me and my ex with BPD split up 3 months ago. We’re both 24. We only dated for about 5 months. As i’m sure most of you know… that initial stage was electric. I broke things off when she ditched me on my birthday, lying that she was feeling ill, but instead went to a raging house party. She ghosted me all night, and went ballistic at me when i said “wtf, that’s so suss why’d you lie” She then split on me, bombarding me with essays of texts explaining how i’m worse than the devil himself. We’ve been pretty much fully no contact since. She called a month ago apologizing and saying she wanted to g ..read more

Here is my experience of my previous relationship, which I'm still struggling to make fully make sense of. I know this post is long, but the relationship was very complex and nuanced and a short version would simply not do the relationship justice. I noticed that the relationship which heavily aligned with the dynamics of a BPD relationship. Hence, I thought posting here would perhaps give me some relevant insights. Me (M20) and my now ex-girlfriend (F29) were together for a year (I was 19 and she was 28 when we met in case that is relevant). We met at the same university and hit it off. We h ..read more

After lots of therapy and low contact, i am done with my pwBPD. I think I was fooled, for the past year plus I thought low contact was the answer I looked for and needed. I believed I could still have a relationship with my sister but just at a far distance. The reality is— that doesn’t work either for us. Not only is she mean-spirited but she doesn’t value relationships even ones with boundaries. I feel a sense of relief. And maybe one day I will feel a sense of loss, but right now I feel a tremendous sense of relief. I am so glad, yet so disappointed at the same time, that I didn’t make thi ..read more

I'm struggling so much to trust myself, my feelings, my perception, my memory, everything. What made you truly realise that it wasn't in your head? That it was actually abusive, actually happening, and actually not you. I want to cut contact with my mom, who exhibits BPD traits. I want to go low contact. I want to stop letting my family control me and dictate my life. I want to leave but I can't get past this hurdle of what if I actually am just deluded, bipolar, autistic, out to hurt everyone, don't see reality, am manipulative, controlling, etc etc etc? I keep treating my feelings as delusi ..read more

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Now I'm not saying I don't have some similarities in behaviour, especially during the reltionship itself, but I'm starting to realise that a lot of those things became survival tactics. Some major codepdent trait seems to be avoiding conflict, doing things to please others, and minimizing or ignoring your own needs. I did all of these but not until I worked out my life would be less dramatic and exhausting if I did them that coupled along with a healthy dose of manipulation to convince me this is how healthy relationships should be. I learnt I couldn't meet my own needs if I wanted to keep th ..read more

I dated my PWBPD for about three years. Then I left. It's now eight years later. For the first two years after the break up, I tried to hide from the whole world and didn't want to talk to anyone. For the next two years, I tried to step outside of my self-imposed cave and realized I was terrified of everything and couldn't do the things I used to be able to do. I spent the next two years being suicidal and partially dissociated most of the time. I moved back in with my folks because I couldn't care for myself anymore. A year ago, I finally started going to therapy. Turns out, I have PTSD from ..read more