Maverick Vinales has had a turnaround in fortunes, results and personality lately. He keeps winning. He’s consistent. He’s as Mav as a Hatter. What’s going on? Let’s investigate the possibilities: Replaced by a Killer Robot In the movie Terminator 2, a shape-shifting robot replaces various people in an effort to kill John Connor (completely understandable, given how annoying Edward Furlong is) and thereby destroy the human race. Has Mav been replaced by a killer robot? It would certainly explain his new-found determination and focus.   Scooby Doo Mask Doppelganger Is somebody out there ..read more

Winners Maverick Vinales Earlier in the week we had a solar eclipse – a rare event that usually leaves all witnessing it gasping at its incredulity.  However the rarity, gasps and incredibility pale into insignificance compared to the massively infrequent event of Maverick Vinales having two successful races back-to-back.  And not just ‘slightly successful’…but actual race wins.  Scientists at MGPN Towers have likened the odds of that happening to finding two people who like Jorge Lorenzo being in the same room. But, against all odds, win Mav did.  And he also had a Batman ..read more

Liberty Media have turned F1 from a snoozefest race series into a stupid reality show with a snoozefest race series attached, kind of like how a petrol station is really a rip-off convenience store with petrol pumps attached to draw in extra customers. In the case of F1, Drive to Survive is basically an update on those Paris Hilton reality shows where a bird-brained millionaire wanders around being an idiot. The main difference being that the F1 drivers don’t get arrested for doing 90 past a school ‘cos the cops have been anaesthetised by the mind-numbing lack of overtaking. But which reality ..read more

The 2024 season had some dependable predictabilities.  We all knew Marc Marquez would knock off other Ducati riders.  We also knew that Morbidelli would still be rubbish despite being on the best bike on the grid.  But above all we were all certain that Fabio Quartarararararo would flee Yamaha at the end of the season when his sentence expired. No way would the likeable yet French rider suffer wasting his talents on the Yamaha for a second longer than necessary.  Come 1st January 2025 we all ‘knew’ he’d be elsewhere. Or did we?  Amazingly the latter prediction has not ..read more

Winners Jorge Martin A ‘Jorge’ win, whether it’s Martin or Lorenzo, is usually a flag-to-lights metronomic display of bike brilliance.  This is a posh way of saying “boring”.  And it was another boring win for Jorge Martin.  Not that the Spaniard cares.  He now leads the championship and will no doubt up his public beef for a factory bike for 2025. Pedro Acosta The lovable stoat was at it again in the Algarve this time weaselling his way up onto the podium in the main race.  Pedro and his team were ecstatic with the result…the other KTM riders less so. Maverick Vinales ..read more

The MotoGP round at Qatar coincided with the Oscars, which are awarded to the most outstandingly boring and woke movies. It was also the weekend of the Razzie awards, which are the anti-Oscars and are awarded to the movies that sucked the most. So let’s find out who won Oscars and Razzies at Qatar’s MotoGP round, to separate the Oppenheimers from the Indiana Jones 4s. Oscar for Best Actor (Most entertaining rider) Nominees: Pecco Bananas Brad Binder Pedro Acosta Winner: Pedro Acosta. This new Spanish kid is box office, overtaking riders just to annoy them, even though he was eating his rear ..read more

If you ever go and see a band usually the support act is rubbish.  A seemingly endless set of near-identical songs that you don’t know or care about mixed poorly live by a sound guy who doesn’t know or care about them either.  Wisely many folk just turn up to see the main band. Moto3, however, isn’t a support act.  If Moto3 was a band there would be hundreds of crazy tiny teenagers frantically running around the stage often tripping over the amps and knocking over a load more of each other.  It would be so frantic and stressful to watch that half of you would love it and t ..read more

We can exclusively reveal that the factory KTM team will be using their long-awaited cardboard chassis in the opening round of the 2024 MotoGP series in Qatar. A New Development Traditionally, motorcycle chassis were make of steel. Advances in technology led first to aluminium and then to carbon fibre frames. KTM are leading the way in the next step: cardboard construction. A senior KTM source, speaking to us from his wheelchair under the strict condition of anonymity, explained the reason for the Austrian marque’s new development. Some know-it-all on the internet has been mocking us for ou ..read more

It’s news that none of us really wanted to hear – Liberty Media are looking at buying shares in MotoGP with the aim of owning it outright.  But, just like the 2027 introduction of 850cc engines, it looks like we won’t have a choice in it. Who? Liberty Media own Formula 1.  And because they have “Liberty” in the name they’re clearly American and probably think Monterey Jack is somehow the pinnacle of cheese. Liberty Media bought F1 off that crooked old bloke and the other old dead bloke who used to dress up as a Nazi to be whipped. Americans eh? The slow but steady Americanisation o ..read more

The new alien on the block is Pedro Acosta. He’s hyped to the rafters, but how will the stoat-adjacent Spaniard do in MotoGP this year? Let’s look at the potential outcomes. Win the MotoGP Title It’s not completely impossible for a rookie to win the MotoGP World Championship. Spanish Antichrist Marc Marquez did it, but like Prisoner: Cell Block H, things were different then. Even if Acosta is as talented as the evil Marquez brother, the moronic aero-squat rules that MotoGP currently labours under mean that they are stoatally different to normal race bikes. On top of that, Acosta’s full-fat K ..read more