I write about self-compassion a lot because it is one of the most rewarding shifts I have made in my life and law practice. From speaking to and teaching lawyers about mindfulness for years now, I also know that self-compassion is an area of opportunity for many of us. If you are interested in this topic, you start Googling or searching on Amazon for resources to explore self-compassion further. Doing this is likely to direct you to two prominent names in the field of self-compassion cultivation: Kristin Neff and Chris Germer. Neff and Germer teamed up to create the popular, accessible, and e ..read more

The Mindfulness in Law Society reached out and asked if I wanted to do a community event for the larger group. I have been guiding the virtual sits for about a year now and taught at the virtual retreat last fall. For this event, though, they didn’t want me to guide a meditation. They wanted me to teach. When we did the meeting to plan this session, I expected they would have something in mind. To my delight and surprise, they didn’t have preconceived notions. Instead, the organizer and I discussed some of my recent speaking engagements and I told her about a Ted-style talk I had done on thou ..read more

I’m not stranger to soul-sucking things. After all, I am a lawyer. But when I got on the scale at a recent doctor’s visit, I knew I was in for another one. From years of experience going off the deep end with control issues, I have learned to be skeptical of numbers. I knew the number on the scale didn’t correlate to my self-worth. I was on guard against the diet industrial complex’s ploy to make me place moral value on my weight. I’m an accomplished, self-respecting, grown ass woman for heaven’s sake. The number on the scale doesn’t define me. All of this is true, but as soon as I saw the nu ..read more

Self-compassion features prominently on this blog. In part that is because cultivating self-compassion is a huge part of my personal journey. I consider it one of the greatest gifts of my meditation practice and perhaps the biggest shift in my life. It is what helped me grow after decades of overthinking, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. My story, though, is not unique. Self-compassion has been proven to help people achieve goals, build happiness, take risks, and foster closer relationships. Beyond this, even for those of us to whom it does not come naturally, self-compassion can be culti ..read more

Lack of time is the excuse I hear most often from other lawyers who tell me that they wish they could develop a meditation habit. As a lawyer and mom who teaches mindfulness and manages this blog on the side, I know that’s understandable. Lawyers are among the busiest of people and we are often busy for very good reasons. Even so, I have noticed a funny thing in my ten years of meditation practice. When I am the busiest, my meditation habit is the strongest. It is the times when my schedule loosens up that I struggle more. My theory on this is that I implicitly know I need my meditation pract ..read more

I wasn’t looking for a new meditation app, but one came looking for me. The lovely people at Moments of Space reached out to ask if I would be willing to check out their blog and do a sponsored post. As a busy lawyer, mom, and author, it’s not an easy thing to just add a new task on my to-do list but they appealed to all my favorite things. Am I curious by nature? Absolutely. Did they offer me a chance to try something new? Yes, indeed. What is Different about Moments of Space? Moments of Space is a relatively new entrant to the meditation app market, but it offers a fresh take. Unlike most o ..read more

How many times have you lamented in stress or frustration that life doesn’t come with an instructional manual? It’s a statement that all of us from time to time have exclaimed when we don’t really understand what’s going on and we are just doing our best to get through it. Emotions are often like this. They come along every so often and we have no choice but to ride the wave. Most of us like to pretend that we are in control of our emotions. Anyone in the business world, including lawyers, are now familiar with the importance of EQ (“emotional intelligence”). So, of course we know how to reco ..read more

Have you ever had touchy subjects? These are the topics that come up a lot and they always get on your nerves. You find yourself getting irritated and explaining something at length to someone who clearly doesn’t care about the issue as much as you do. For me, that thing is “compassion fatigue.” Why on earth would this subject set me off? Well, it sets me off because the very term “compassion fatigue” gets the concept wrong. “Compassion fatigue” is a term that describes the physical, emotional, and psychological impact of helping others — often through experiences of stress or trauma. There’s ..read more

This is the line I often hear when I present about self-compassion: I know that it’s better to be kind to myself but I just can’t do it. People, especially lawyers, tell me that the habit of criticizing themselves is so ingrained that they see it as a part of their character. This is a common struggle and I have personally experienced how painful it can be. Though it can indeed be a challenge, it is possible to change even well-established habits like self-criticism over time. I know because I have done it. Beating Yourself Up Is a Habit. I started meditating a decade ago after I developed po ..read more

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