This week Hotch has to bail his shitbag brother out of trouble as he's involved in some tainted wine scandal. Look, the only reason we're doing "Brothers Hotchner" is it leads directly into the Season 8 finale that botches the Replicator overarching storyline. Get ready for a lot of eye bleeding ..read more

The Replicator "saga" kicks into high gear with "Carbon Copy", a case about a guy killing nurses and removing their eyelids...replicating the very signature of the blood painting guy from last episode. Zugs get zwanged, Scott Grimes shows up and Criminal Minds proves that the wrongly accused are just criminals that haven't committed crimes yet. All that and more in an all-new DELIVER THE PROFILE ..read more

Leap into Season 8 with "Magnum Opus", an episode about Reid grieving his fake phone girlfriend getting real murdered by Dawn from Buffy the best way he knows how: by solving a serial case that may or may not involve a vampire. All the team knows is somebody in San Francisco is killing people, draining their blood and cutting off their eyelids. Will Reid & Morgan Meet Dracula or is it something dumber? Listen to find out ..read more

To Season 7 we go with "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy", which is about a mass suicide at a military academy run by the guy who played Odo on Star Trek. There's some bullying involved, but surprisingly no child molestation, so credit to Criminal Minds. This one is loose so buckle in ..read more

Bustin' makes me feel vaguely depressed! Ronnie and Jazz suffer through the fifth Ghostbusters movie, which has like five jokes in it. Why is there a talking ghost girl, and why are the ramifications of that swept aside in favor of an undercooked lesbian coming of age subplot? Does Bill Murray actively want to die every moment he's on screen? Why did EVERYONE relocate to New York City? It's a stupid movie for stupid people. Enjoy listening to the boys try to tear it apart without falling asleep ..read more

In "Ashley", misbegotten main character Ashley Seaver does NOT return. Instead it's some missing child Season 14 bullshit. Ah, c'est la vie ..read more

Season 14 rolls on with "Twenty Seven", an episode about machete murders in DC that occur every 27 minutes. Is it stupid or is someone trying to make a dumbass point? Both! Meanwhile, Prentiss gets the least charismatic love interest ever. Good thing we cover these out of order so we already know this romance ultimately goes nowhere. MENDOZA!!!!! (That's his name, not just a Simpsons reference ..read more

It's time to stare at the sun, by which we mean return to watching Sony's Spider-Man without Spider-Man movies.  ..read more

I guess the episode title spoils the twist. Oops. Otherwise it's a pretty typical Criminal Minds episode, which is to say it's not good. And there's a Garcia subplot. Why even live anymore ..read more

Season 14 slog continues on with "Rule 34", which, yes, we get it. It's terrible but we get it. Somebody is sending body parts in the mail to random women and if you guessed a predatory homosexual was behind it, congratulations. Also, one of Simmons' 17 kids gets in trouble at school and who could possibly care. It's another week in the mines for your boys at Deliver The Profile ..read more