A good list can help you in so many ways. Here are three I particularly value as an HSP. I’ve written dozens of articles about self-care for highly sensitive people (HSPs), including the crucial basics: ample $sleep, $solitude, $self-compassion, $self-regulation, and $spiritual connection. Somehow, though, I’ve never written about lists. That is crazy, because I’m the Queen of Lists. I LOVE lists. In fact, “make great lists” belongs near the top of my list of best stress-prevention practices. Using the right lists at the right time, you can make complex, wonderful things happen. Best of all, y ..read more

Do let yourself trust the sweetness you experience, when there is so much suffering all around you? My partner and I spent two weeks in Hawaii recently. We experienced an overwhelming flood of sweetness there. The malasadas—mouth-watering Portuguese doughnuts, filled with silky coconut custard, coated with crunchy sugar, and served hot—were literally sweet. Not too sweet. They were perfect. Looking at this picture, I’m amazed I had the self-control to pause after my first bite to grab my phone and record the experience. Even more, though, we were showered with human sweetness in all its forms ..read more

The power of elegance as an organizing concept will support you to create a sustainable life as a highly sensitive person. Math has never been my strong suit. I feel lucky that I remember enough of it to balance my checkbook and calculate a percentage when needed. Nonetheless, one of my guiding principles as a highly sensitive person comes directly from the world of mathematics. It is called elegance. According to Wikipedia, mathematicians use the word “elegant” to describe a proof that has five prized qualities: 1—It is clean, clear, and uncluttered, using “a minimum of additional assumptions ..read more

Once you understand the spiral nature of change, you can recognize and respond skillfully to each stage. “Why can’t I just let go of my old painful patterns?” I often hear some version of this question from my highly sensitive clients. I’ve asked it of myself, as well. It sounds like a request for information. Truly, though, it is a cry of pain. Underneath the words, the question that is actually being asked is, “What is wrong with me? Why am I still struggling with this, after all the effort I’ve put into therapy, journaling, bodywork, etc.?” When you ask, “What is wrong with me?”, you are al ..read more

How well do you take care of yourself when the going gets rough? Having a plan in place can make all the difference. I have a secret fear as a writer. I’m afraid people will read what I’ve written then haul off like Homer Simpson and exclaim, “Well, DOH!” On the other hand, I’m keenly aware that one person’s “DOH!” might be another person’s “Aha!” For that reason, these Homer Simpson fears rise up, I stare them down, put my big-girl pants back on, and do my best to write something that I believe will be helpful to highly sensitive people (HSPs.) A cautionary tale about habits Along the way, it ..read more

The better you understand the four environments that affect HSPs, the more you empower yourself to create positive change in your life. First of all, Happy New Year! This comes with my heartfelt wishes for a wonderful 2024. Thank you for reading. You give me a reason to write! It’s natural to be thoughtful as one year ends and a new one begins. I’d like to offer you food for thought: specifically, a framework you can use to evaluate your self-care. This concerns a central aspect of the highly sensitive trait called variable susceptibility, though I prefer to use the term environmental suscepti ..read more

HSPs need to understand the dark side of productivity, so it doesn’t become an addiction. My name is Emily. I am a time management geek. I’m in recovery—I hope. But I know why time management can take on an addictive pull for me. When you need ample time for rest, reflection, and play like I (and most highly sensitive people) do, you quickly bump into the unfortunate reality that each day contains only 24 hours. Sometimes I wish I lived in Munchkin Land, where the inhabitants sing, We get up at twelve and start to work at one, Take an hour for lunch and then at two we’re done: jolly good fun ..read more

If you find yourself saying, “I don’t like to label myself sensitive,” read on. The HSP label can be useful, IF you use it the right way. A man named Alex once contacted me to ask about Focusing. When I responded, I included information about high sensitivity (HSP), sensing that the information might resonate with him. Alex replied that he had in fact come across Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person. He added, Very interesting. I don’t like labeling myself but I see something in me that is very sensitive. I can see the connection with shame for feeling sensitive and how I and others ..read more

Have you succumbed to these common manifestation misunderstandings? I’d like to share with you some thoughts about manifestation. Not so much how to do it: you can find that information all over, in bestsellers like The Secret or Ask and it is Given, or in articles like this one in Oprah’s ”O”magazine. It’s called “How to Manifest Anything.” Instead, I’d like to talk about the ways I’ve gotten stuck over the years with manifestation. I used to confuse myself into a state of paralysis, because I misunderstood how the whole thing works. I’ve seen these same misunderstandings in enough clients to ..read more

How do you access your unstoppability? By consciously choosing your intent and strengthening your volition. I’m fascinated by stories describing feats of seemingly impossible strength, such as a mother lifting a car to save her child from being crushed. There’s even a name for this phenomenon: hysterical strength. Many such cases are convincingly documented. How do we explain hysterical strength? The fight or flight reaction is thought to be a major contributor. These events typically happen under emergency conditions, so it makes sense that fear would provide both energy and motivation. Even ..read more