After learning that I was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), my first google search was an iteration of the words: "how to cure being HSP." I get DMs, emails, and questions often from people hoping there are ways to get rid of the HSP personality trait. They reach out with hope that they can be "normal" and turn off their sensitivity. They come to me at times with an ideal version of themselves they want me to help guide them toward becoming. I completely relate, as I originally felt that way myself. I didn't want to feel different anymore. I didn't want to have such sensitive tendencies toward ..read more

Let's start with defining a few terms. Neurodiversity: Coined by Judy Singer in 1998, this term recognizes that every individual's brain develops differently. The term covers all people from those who would classify as neurotypical to neurodivergent. Similar to how no two people have the same fingerprint, no two people have the same brain. Therefore, we are all neurodiverse with our own unique neurotype (the way your individual brain experiences the world). Neurotypical: those who function within the major societal standard and are categorized as a part of the societal "norm" in social functio ..read more

As a sensitive person, I am pretty much always fidgeting in some way. I identify as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This means i'm highly attuned to my environment, my 5 senses are heightened, and I feel things very deeply. Smell happens to be one of my most sensitive senses. If I'm in a space that smells funky or too strong, I benefit from having a fidget toy on hand to help myself regulate. During therapy sessions, I often have a fidget toy in hand to make sure I'm present and regulated. I'm pretty particular about the texture, weight, and movement sensation of fidget toys. For me to make s ..read more

In a first session with a new client I make sure to point out how therapy can actually make you feel "worse." This may be a confusing thing to hear from your therapist, but it's an important thing to know before you get started. Therapy work can shake you up, turn you inside out, flip you upside down, spin you around, and then as soon as you get settled in and comfortable, it may do it all over again. In getting into the trenches with yourself, you are bound to uncover things that your protective parts have intentionally suppressed and avoided. Old patterns and behaviors may get analyzed in w ..read more

Common questions: Is therapy a space to talk "at" a person for an hour each week? Am I supposed to vent about my problems and that's it? Is the therapist supposed to ask me questions the entire time and lead me to those "ah-ha!" moments I see in the movies or read about in books? How will I know if it's helpful? Why should I trust a stranger with my vulnerabilities and secrets? Isn't therapy only for people with serious problems? What is the point, really? I used to think similarly about therapy. I didn't attend my first therapy session until I was in my early to mid 20s. I had no idea that t ..read more

I wasn't sure when I'd decide to write this post, but I feel the time has come after the week we have had here in Texas. Texas was hit by Winter Storm Uri this past week. Power outages, water outages, freezing temperatures, and a lack of resources pushed Texans into a state of struggling to survive without basic needs being met (food, water, shelter, warmth). This storm ironically hit only a week after I was quoted by Maryn Liles in an article for Parade.com on discussing Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (the article can be read here). As I researched for and wrote this article, I found myself skim ..read more

As a trauma therapist, I work with trauma on a daily basis. I notice how often clients, friends, and family undermine their own traumas. Some convince themselves that they haven't ever experienced any trauma in their lifetime. Those that do acknowledge their trauma tend to discount it and put on a brave face. I hear a lot of: "other people had/have it worse" or "it was an accident" or "it's really no big deal." I haven't met a single human being who hasn't experienced trauma. What do you think of when you hear the word "trauma?" Witnessing a murder? Physical abuse? Getting stuck in a house tha ..read more

The tension in the air has been vast this year with the pandemic and the anticipation of the election. The future of our country is at an all time level of distress. No matter your political views or stance, this election climate has been felt by all. I would be remiss in my role as a professional counselor if I didn't acknowledge the increased level of overwhelm felt by those who are highly sensitive. The majority of my clientele identify with this unique personality trait. Those with high sensitivity feel things very heavily. This is not limited to emotions and feelings, but expands to all o ..read more

A client recently inspired me by sharing their intention for living a "soft" life. The concept really stuck with me. It had me thinking back to what life must have been like 100s of years ago. No technology, no social media, less instant gratification, less rush, less stress... As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I think I would have thrived in that type of environment. I often remind my clients to tune in to the feeling underneath the day to day tasks we all tend to do on autopilot. I might ask: Why did you choose that shirt today instead of a different shirt? Why did you sit in that ..read more

This video brings me to tears every time I watch it (3 minutes long): https://fb.watch/5F5EPRcHGP/ The parent in this video is demonstrating a very healthy form of co-regulation with their toddler. The parent sits nearby during the toddler's tantrum, allowing the toddler to gently regulate them self at their own pace without feeling rushed, shamed, or hushed in any way. This parent is also teaching this child that simply because their tantrum may be unpleasant to listen to or frustrating to the parent, the child does not deserve to go through it alone. The parent is teaching this child that no ..read more