My 16 year old furbaby died last Saturday of old age. I knew it was coming and had been dreading it for months. He was well loved all that time and he went within a week at the end. Knowing it was coming didn’t help. I was distraught the week I knew he was going and have been since. I’m a 51 year old woman with a history of depression and am going though menopause, so knew when he went I’d be very vulnerable emotionally. I also have no partner or family apart from his beautiful 3 year old sister cat who has been giving me lots of affection ? But basically means he was my family and I have no-o ..read more

Hello @bigfella1956, I’m so glad to hear that your daughter has been getting help from a trained counsellor and that she’s benefited from it. Thank you for contacting Griefline, take care ..read more

Hi @VMTzimisce and @VM-rose. Thank you both for your responses – they have helped a lot. My daughter has been getting help from a trained counsellor and that has done her a world of good. As for me, I’m OK – am pretty resilient fortunately. Regards, CHris ..read more

Hello @bigfella1956, I am deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter’s husband. I can’t imagine what you’re all going through. Grief and loss can cause people to feel a range of different emotions that they may not be comfortable experiencing. Sometimes people feel they don’t know what to say or do to make the person experiencing grief “feel better.” It definitely doesn’t feel good when the people around us who are supposed to be there during hard times aren’t there. I’m sorry to hear that this has been your experience. From personal experience, when a friend of mine passed away, som ..read more

Hi @bigfella1956 It seems from your own experiences, you know how tough this time is and you are standing by your daughter. That will mean so much to her, to know that she has her father to lean on in this time of loss and change. Having just one person who is a constant can be so much help. In answer to your question, I believe people are pulling away or flaking on their offers because your daughter’s grief makes them uncomfortable. Some of them may be thinking ‘it’s been 7 months, why isn’t she over this,’ while others might resent the fact that she is still visibly mourning when they were u ..read more

Hello @chelseamae, I am deeply sorry to hear about your father’s health condition. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. As mentioned by @vmbetelgeuse, coping isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel okay and other days you’ll feel terrible, and that’s natural. Grief has no timeline and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. As mentioned by @VM-Apples23, if you’re comfortable to do so, share your experience with people you trust. It’s important to give yourself time to grieve and to be kind to yourself during this extremely difficult period. Perhaps you could create a photo album tha ..read more

Hi @sp2000 Just wanting to check in and see how you are going now that some time has passed. I acknowledge that grief comes along with very intense emotions, and that this can be a shocking and confusing space to feel yourself in. There is no ‘correct’ way to grieve – it is okay to take your time navigating through this new stage of your life. I’m sure your dad is proud of you, and it is so lovely to see how much you care about your beautiful family. I’m hopeful that either currently, or in future you can find some way to reengage with your own sense of identity. This is an important aspect of ..read more

Hi @chelseamae We are here for you. It can be challenging to feel like all the love in your heart for someone so dear may slip away in death. It does not have to be this way, love endures :)) I’d just like to let you know how great it is of you and your mother to step up in looking after him. I am sure he admires your dedication towards him, which is priceless really. He seems like a wonderful man. Grief is not linear. Cope with what is occurring in your life for as long or as short as you desire. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing panic attacks. In a time like this, I would encourage you ..read more

Dear @Chelseamae, Don’t be scared. I’m here with you, imagining the weight of your heart — the heaviness that settles in when you know that time is slipping away, like sand through your fingers. Your father, once strong, now frail and vulnerable. And you, caught in the middle, torn between love and grief. Thanatophobia — the fear of death — has been your shadow since childhood. Unfortunately, It’s a haunting companion and seems to be always on your mind. And now, as your father’s illness progresses, it’s as if it has taken a tangible form, standing at the threshold of your home. You watch him ..read more

Hi, Thanks for sharing these amazing poems. One poem that resonated with me is the following… Separation by W.S. Merwin Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color. I interpreted this as my experience of loss is the colour that’s stitched in my life and my future. This experience is a part of me and accepting that has allowed me to grow but I know its always there and that’s okay ..read more