So, I’m sitting on my couch last week, planning out everything for Thanksgiving dinner. Since I only cook one Thanksgiving a year (we stopped celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving after Trudeau was elected), I had to go back and remind myself how to cook the spatchcocked turkey. This year I actually kind of planned ahead, to make sure I not only got everything planned out that I needed to do, but actually get this post up in time for people to actually be able to do something about it. So let’s go into the way back machine and travel back to 2017, where this all got started… (Oh and save that tur ..read more

One of the things my lady was very up front with me on when we first started dating was that she loved gyros. I mean, loooooooves gyros. Which is a markedly different position than what I have had of them. In fact, on this very blog I identified at least 28 sandwiches superior to it (muffulettas were not an option and I’m sure there were others not on the list). My assessment of the gyro was: You can call it lamb, but to me it’s just decent mystery meat in a pita with average creamy cucumber yogurt sauce. Not the most ringing of endorsements! So I’d pretty much decided that this was just go ..read more

So my lady and I were deciding on what to make for the coming week – which we have to do three days ahead of time if we want to get groceries delivered instead of navigating the hellscape that is a grocery store now – and came up with the idea of fried chicken. Because, really, healthy eating, now…psssh…whatever… When we first moved down here, I used to make chicken and waffles occasionally for a Sunday night dinner. Now, I make a pretty damned good fried chicken, and a just fine waffle. Not a bad waffle, just nothing special about it. There’s just only so much you can do with a waffle; at a ..read more

So, I’m sitting on my couch yesterday, planning out everything for Thanksgiving dinner.  Since I only cook one Thanksgiving a year (we stopped celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving after Trudeau was elected), I had to go back and remind myself how to cook the spatchcocked turkey.  And I’m going through websites, leafing through cookbooks, trying to find it, and then I remembered… OH YEAH I HAVE THIS FUCKING WEBSITE WHERE I POSTED THIS RECIPE LAST YEAR!!! Anyways, I’m going to put the original post below, because I can’t say anything beyond what’s already there… Ok, I did update the raci ..read more

There are so many things I miss about the TV shows I grew up with. Not in an old man yells at clouds way, but in the silly gimmicks they used to do, whether it be the crossovers between shows (what, Spenser For Hire is on the Love Boat??), the clip compilation show (where the actors reminisce about an event for 45 seconds, they drop in a 5 minute clip of that event, and that’s ad revenue without labor), or the two part episode (where the story line is so important that they just can’t pack it all into one 30 minute episode, so they stretch it over 2 weeks). What does that have to do with this ..read more

Let’s get this out of the way right now. Brussels sprouts are total bullshit. It’s a practical joke, played on us by Mother Nature. People say that god must have been high when he made the panda. Well, he must have been on some serious LSD, while on a mushroom trip laced with some bad fentanyl, when he came up with these. “Oh, hey, check this out. I made cabbage, and it’s the world’s shittiest vegetable. But, you know, I made it, so it’s awesome, but whatever. What if I made a bunch of baby cabbages and grew them on a tree trunk? Man, that’ll seriously fuck with their heads. Ooh, let me go wo ..read more

    Last weekend, I decided to get all creative and stuff, and went to a farmers market to see what they had for sale, and then create a dish around it. And I saw some ears of corn, and decided I just had to make a dish around them, because I’m sure they picked the ears this morning from their backyard and they’re totally fresh and no I don’t even need to check them because why would a farmer sell product that wasn’t totally fres… Fuck that lying fucking farmer! The next ear of corn had a worm in it, which was too fast for me to take a picture of.  Which, I guess I have to resp ..read more

I have never fully embraced Curb Your Enthusiasm. Which is weird, because I loved Seinfeld, I like warped humor, and they had a character named Marty Funkhouser (rest in power, Bob Einstein). But it just never hit the mark with me. What did hit the mark, however, was the episode with the Palestinian chicken – and granted even the episode has its own issues and doesn’t hold up as well as you’d like. But the chicken…it’s no joke, this stuff is really great. (Setting up that this post will not be hijacked by any sort of pro/anti Israel/Palestine discussion, this is food, and if any of you lit ..read more

I remember when I was growing up, my family would go over to my great aunt’s house for holiday dinners. And for occasional weekend dinners. And random Friday night gatherings. They threw a lot of events, because at that age I suppose you don’t have much else to do. Anyways, my grandmother lived right up the hill from my great aunt – literally right up the hill. Their houses were pretty much back to back, and you walk down a 50 foot hill and you’re at the house. So she would bring some food as well. And she made matzo ball soup, with the largest matzo balls I have ever seen. Like, the size of ..read more

I’m sure most of you saw the “What Sandwich Are You?” meme that was traveling around the internet earlier this week. Which, to me, really wasn’t good enough, because: I don’t think you should have to restrict yourself to just one sandwich. Some of these sandwiches need to be put in their place. So I decided that it was necessary to rank these, 1-40, and make sure these sandwiches know which of them just don’t make the grade. (I realize that I’m making the sandwiches anthropomorphic characters by shaming them…but that was their decision when they decided to become a sandwich.) (This list is ..read more