When the pieces started falling together, learning that I was overcontrolled was so validating! These days, identifying depression and anxiety is getting a little bit easier. However, what can be the most challenging is finding the right treatment for our depression and anxiety. As a Radically Open Therapist I wanted to share a couple of patterns are recognized that help me identify as overcontrolled to hopefully help at least one other OC person feel seen! Radically Open DBT, according to Dr. Tom Lynch, the founder and creator, was crafted for those of us who are overcontrolled. When we are o ..read more

Written and Narrated by Vivian Talamantes, MSW, LMSW My clients already know the drill. We’re reviewing their diary cards for the past week, or maybe they’re telling me about some emotion-inducing situation, and suddenly the forbidden word flies from their mouth. “….but….” They stop in their tracks like a dog who’s just been caught nibbling on their human’s unattended food. We make eye contact, I give them a look, perhaps even raise an eyebrow. The seasoned ones already know what to expect and immediately replace that “but” with an “and,” taking the pressure to perform off of my forehead muscl ..read more

Hello and welcome to another Book Cheater Blog! This month we’re exploring a book I have been itching to read for months, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori A. Brotto, PhD. Chapter 3: Introducing the Raisin Brotto opens the chapter with a story about a female, Sarah, who loses her sexual desire and drive due to disengagement. Females having a lot on their plate mentally isn’t a surprise.  Women carry so many titles, mom, wife, cousin, sister, vice president, CEO, etc. We balance many roles with ease (so we think). Brotto understands that a woman’s drift ..read more

Hello and welcome to another Book Cheater Blog! I’ll read those clinical books, and you can pretend you did. It’ll be our little secret! This month we’re investigating a book I have been itching to read for months, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori A. Brotto, PhD. Who is Dr. Brotto? Dr. Lori A. Brotto is a registered psychologist in British Columbia. Dr. Brotto is currently the director of the University of British Columbia’s Sexual Health Laboratory and is the Executive Director of the Women’s Health Research Institute. I also looked over her publications ..read more

In my late-night meme scroll, I came upon “the ick” a new phrase that peaked my curiosity. After my rabbit hole search, I considered, with the help of my supervisor, if the ick could be alleviated. What is the Ick? Besides being another word coined by Gen Z that I was unfamiliar with, what is the ick? According to Urban Dictionary, a very reliable source, “the ick” can be classified as, when you’re talking with a new potential partner, you suddenly have an onset of feelings of dislike towards the person, “From then on you can't look at the person in the same way, you just progressively get mor ..read more

Are you parenting, or is your ego? What is the Ego? A part of our psychology, our Ego mind is our brain that judges, gossips, and wants gratification. Ego, according to Freud, is our sense of self. Over time, our ego is formed from interactions with our environment. We will join groups to identify with, form values and beliefs and so forth. This means your ego can be influenced by your culture and society. Sometimes we cling to our ego. When we cling to our ego, we are accepting ourselves as one thing. This one entity is static and unmoving. In DBT, we agree that there are two truths in each s ..read more

Has anyone ever mentioned that you’re doing a lot for your teen or young adult child? Maybe you are very deeply involved in your young adult child’s life, almost to the point of total control? You may be a Helicopter parent. Helicopter parenting is a type of parenting style Helicopter parents get the name “Helicopter” because the parent seems to hover, like a helicopter, over their child’s every move. This style is an intense high involvement with a young adult’s life. Why care? Studies have shown that young adults who have helicopter parents struggle emotionally and mentally later in life. Ho ..read more

“Values are not static: they evolve, and they involve a great deal of choice,” - Marsha Linehan in Asserting Yourself Recently I learned that values are kind of like a “North Star” for our decisions. Values can guide us and making choices that will benefit us and what we want to achieve. After learning this, I had a lot more questions about values. What's the deal with values and why do they matter? Values in general, are important to you and what matters to you about life. Values reflect how you choose to live your life and values can be big or little. If we didn't have values we would have l ..read more

It seems like all the time; I get a new book recommendation from another therapist. Most titles sound so great, but who has got the time to read them all? Where’s the Cliff’s notes versions? So, I’ve decided to make my own version, so, I’ll read the book, give you just enough information that it discusses, then, you can say, “oh, I have read that one” with confidence (and it’ll be our little secret that you didn’t). The High Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation by Alan E. Fruzzetti Today we finish off High Conflict Couple by looking at ..read more

The High Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation by Alan E. Fruzzetti It seems like all the time; I get a new book recommendation from another therapist. Most titles sound so great, but who has got the time to read them all? Where’s the Cliff’s notes versions? So, I’ve decided to make my own version, so, I’ll read the book, give you just enough information that it discusses, then, you can say, “oh, I have read that one” with confidence (and it’ll be our little secret that you didn’t). I've decided to really soak in this information and di ..read more