
Code4Couples
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Cyndi Doyle is the author of Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship, psychotherapist, and a law enforcement spouse working to educate officers and spouse on the impact of law enforcement on their relationship for them to counter the impact and create connected and resilient relationships. She is the author and creator of Hold the Line products..
Code4Couples
1w ago
In the world of law enforcement, the weight of the job extends far beyond being on duty. Officers carry the burdens of the job home, often struggling with the effects of trauma, hypervigilance, and emotional exhaustion. Yet, despite being problem-solvers for others, many find it challenging to seek help for themselves. That's where Copline steps in, a totally confidential, genuinely non-profit, 24/7 peer support line designed exclusively for law enforcement officers, retirees, and their families.
1-800-COPLINE (267-5463)
For more information, visit Copline.org.  ..read more
Code4Couples
2w ago
Ideally, officers coming home would be able to have 20 to 30 minutes to decompress before engaging with the family, but we all know that sometimes that's just not realistic. Your spouse has a life, a full -time job, manages the household and when you're not there, your family has their own business and their own chaos. Heck, maybe the officer parent is the parent who's doing all the parent pickups or bath time, or maybe your spouse travels for work. Real life dictates that as a couple, you're not always going to be able to put the officer's need to decompress ahead of life. Real life dictates ..read more
Code4Couples
3w ago
Let’s be honest, relationships can be tough. Add the challenges of a high-stress job like lawenforcement, and things can get even more complicated. If you’ve ever had a disagreement where your officer partner seemed togo into "work mode"—commanding, controlling, and all business—you’re not alone. And officers, maybe you’ve found yourself looking back on an argument wondering why you acted like you were on duty instead of at home. This is what’scalled **authoritarian spillover**, and it’s something many law enforcement couples face.
Let’s break it down, talk about the challenges it creates, and ..read more
Code4Couples
1M ago
Coming home after a long shift as a law enforcement officer should feel like a relief—a return to safety and family. Yet, for many officers and their spouses, this transition is anything but smooth. Hypervigilance, a critical survival mechanism on the job, often spills over into home life, creating tension and disconnection in relationships.
Understanding hypervigilance and its impact on your family is the first step to maintaining a strong, connected relationship. Here, we’ll explore the problem and offer practical solutions for both officers and their spouses.
Hold the ..read more
Code4Couples
1M ago
January 9th marks Law Enforcement Appreciation Day—a moment to honor the men and women who protect and serve our communities. However, as we express gratitude for officers, it's crucial to also recognize the families who sacrifice and serve alongside them. Appreciation is not only for special occasions; it’s an essential practice that strengthens the bonds between officers and their loved ones.
Host, Cyndi Doyle, explores the science of appreciation, its role in fostering connection, and actionable ways to incorporate it into everyday life.
Hold the Line: The Essential Guide ..read more
Code4Couples
1M ago
The start of a new year is the perfect time to set goals—not just for personal growth, but for your relationship as well. For law enforcement couples, the challenges of hypervigilance, shift work, stress, and balancing dual careers can create unique roadblocks to connection and communication. Without proactive strategies, these challenges can lead to misunderstandings, emotional distance, and even burnout.
But there’s good news: small, intentional changes can have a big impact. Below, we outline five powerful resolutions specifically designed for law enforcement couples to strengthen their bon ..read more
Code4Couples
2M ago
You may or may not know who Dr. Ellen Kirschman is, but you’ve certainly been impacted by her. I think of Ellen as the godmother of police psychology. She has paved the way for many counselors and spouses with her books, I Love A Cop and Counseling Cops. She was one of the first, if not the first, to offer workshops for spouses to understand their officer. She's passionate about helping officers heal from trauma and continues to volunteer her time to do just that. In my interview with Ellen, I get her thoughts on how the blue family has changed over the years, trauma, PTSD, her books, and her ..read more
Code4Couples
4M ago
Burnout in law enforcement as an officer or spouse seems inevitable, considering the sacrifices you make and the impact on both of you. It leads to arguments and disconnection.
You work hard, juggling work, home, social life, projects, kids, parents, and all the other things. Appointments, meetings, and shifts keep getting added to your calendar, and paperwork is piling up. Maybe you've said yes to a few people or situations you really wanted to say no to.
You realize you're not just burning the candle on both ends, but you've added some wicks making the candle burn faster. You thi ..read more
Code4Couples
5M ago
In this episode of the Code4Couples podcast, host Cyndi Doyle continues the conversation with Joan Van De Greik about the severe financial impacts following her husband's traumatic brain injury (TBI) sustained in the line of duty. Joan shares the struggles they faced including mounting medical expenses, navigating insurance and workers' comp, the importance of disability and life insurance with living benefits, and ultimately starting her business Fetch Your Wealth.
Joan's story highlights the necessity of financial planning for law enforcement families facing similar challenges ..read more
Code4Couples
5M ago
There's an injury to the head on the job. If it's an open wound, it gets addressed, stapled up, and healed. As time goes on, you or your spouse notices that you're different.
You're changing your mood, your drive, your impulsivity and your memory isn’t what it used to be.
You aren't sure what's happening.
Despite what looks fine externally, you know something is going on.
Traumatic brain injuries or TBIs are injuries to the brain that impact the function of the brain. A TBI has consequences in cognitive, psychological, social, behavioral, and even other functioning. TBIs can range in severity ..read more