Growing up, I was introduced to Calvinism. A theological belief system within Christianity, Calvinism was founded by John Calvin, a Protestant Reformer. Calvin's teachings can be summed up in the following acronym Total depravity Unconditional election Limited atonement Irresistible Grace Perseverance of the Saints ...or, TULIP.  Now, one doesn't often think of Calvinism as being much of a part of Evangelicalism. However, it certainly is part of Christian culture, and had a negative impact on me and my young life. At the age of 12, I was introduced to Calvinism via sermons like ..read more

  While browsing Tiktok, I came across a video by a young man who claimed that the whole “deconstruction” movement and the “cancellation” of preachers was a “sign.” He elaborated and said that God was moving in a “mighty way” and “pruning the church to create a righteous bride.” All I could do was shake my head. They just don't get it. They don't want to get it. If they did, they wouldn't be looking the other way. They would acknowledge that there is hurt and trouble within the Christian church. They would acknowledge trauma, they would acknowledge abuse. They wouldn't try to explain a ..read more

 I've gotten this question a couple of times from people, asking me who I see God as now. As I go through my deconstruction, I went through a lot of time searching for meaning. Whether it was in Neo-Paganism, Hinduism, Buddhism or even Pantheism, I wanted to have something real in my life that I could hold onto. Where the church had failed me, I thought I could find meaning elsewhere.  I learned a lot, being away from Christianity. I learned about myself, my own ways of looking at God, and it changed me. It changed my outlook on life, on the Divine, and my philosophy of the world. S ..read more

 Over the past week, I made the decision to become a vegan and switch to a vegan diet. I did this for spiritual purposes, as well as health and ethical purposes. It's something I have toyed with since the age of 16, but finally decided to take more seriously now. Being plant-based has made my life much healthier and happier. It may have also saved lives. Who knows? I'm happy with it. But I can already think of a few people who aren't. Well, okay. I can't pigeonhole them all. Many Christians and Christian denominations, such as the Seventh Day Adventists, are vegan. However, growing up ev ..read more

 I love America, Oh I love this land I love America, with justice may she stand Grounded on the word of God, a nation of the free I love America, the land of our liberty. Every Wednesday at school, during chapel time, we would sing this song or some other patriotic song. From a very young age, as early as first grade, I was taught that America was the greatest country in the world and that God had blessed this nation. Flags could be found in the corners of our church, of many of the churches I attended growing up. Hymnals would include patriotic songs to be sung during church services. I ..read more

 Matt Chandler, a pastor from Flower Mound, Texas, and the pastor of City on a Hill Village Church recently gave a sermon where he mentioned the deconstruction movement. As I expected, he derided us, saying that it was  "sexy" to be an exvangelical, to walk away from the faith: “You and I are in an age where deconstruction and the turning away from and leaving the faith has become some sort of sexy thing to do. I contend that if you ever experience the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ actually, that that’s really impossible to deconstruct from.” I remember watching this for the first ..read more

Every person who has ever deconstructed their religious beliefs has a story. Whether it is one of simple questioning or leaving behind a cult, each story is different and unique and carries its own journey through what one has been taught to them, to the truth.  I did a quick sit down with Lydia Joy Lauderville, a friend and fellow blogger and asked her to share her story growing up in religious fundamentalism. The following are the questions asked, and the answers to those questions: 1. What kind of church did you go to? What was it like? It was very isolated. The church was aff ..read more

  Hey fam! Just a quick blog for the holidays. I hope your Halloween is full of fun and lots of sugar. Me? I'm baking soul cakes right now. Well. It's more like a soul cake. But it smells heavenly and I can't wait to try it. It's my first time making it, so hopefully it comes out good! Halloween (aka Spooky Season) is my favorite time of year. I love the chill in the air, the shorter nights, and the apple cider. I watch scary movies and cuddle up with my cats. It's a fun, lighthearted day. And, as I was making my soul cake, I was thinking about halloween and evangelicalism. My family n ..read more

This past July, I visited a friend. She's another survivor of fundamentalism and has been my friend for over 16 years. She moved away to another state, so we don't talk or see each other as much; but when we do, it's like we never left. We catch up to where we are now, how our lives are going, and what we have planned for the future. It's always such a blessing to be able to get together with her, as we also share our own stories of coming out of fundamentalism.  While at her home, she had mentioned that they were going to church on Sunday and that I was more than welcome to come, but ..read more

June is pride month in the United States. Every year, our small town has a pride event. It’s small, and there is not as much to see as there would be in other cities. It’s humble, but it’s beautiful, as so many people come out to the event showing pride for who they are, without fear. It’s a day to embrace love, joy, happiness and pride. I went and met up with a friend, and commented on what a big turnout we had this year. There were people from all walks of life, all united under love and pride of who they were on the inside.  But, sadly, not everyone in my community sees it that way ..read more