We in the exvangelical community toss around the word “deconstruction” quite a bit, to the point that sometimes perhaps it loses its meaning in favor of simply being a popular hashtag. But what does it really mean to deconstruct? Very simply, it means to do a deep dive into a topic — to not merely accept an account or narrative as it has been transmitted to you, but rather to find out for yourself, to do your own research, and to trust your own intuition and critical thinking skills to draw your own conclusions. It is not only an essential component to one’s faith experience either, but a very ..read more

Today, August 30th, is the 225th birthday of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley. Her mother invented feminism, her father founded anarchy; her step-mother translated fairy tales for the Grimm Brothers, and for her whole life, Mary was surrounded by the greatest philosphers, theologians, poets, and artists of her age. So how remarkable is it that, at the age of 18, she published a book that outclassed them all and changed the whole world? As an inescapable result of this teenager’s remarkable achievement, I’m delighted to wish everyone a Happy Frankenstein Day! I was in second grade when I first read ..read more

This exvangelical deconstruction of Santa Claus comes courtesy of Baptist Accountabilty co-founder Megan South Benninger (read her story here). This fascinating exploration reminds me of the “deconstruction” essays I wrote for grad school in which I searched for the historical roots of Dracula and Frankenstein. Really fascinating stuff, to find the kernel of truth in folklore — especially when we explore possible reasons for the folklore evolving the way that they did. I personally think we collectively and subconsciously deify our role models and demonize our villains to keep them at an arm ..read more

I wanted to give my readers an update: Writing has slowed down here at Surviving the Spirit, but it isn’t because I’m taking a break. It’s because I’ve been busy writing an exvangelical memoir, in which I rework much of what I’ve written here while both expanding existing content and writing entirely new material. With all of the content that I’ve written toward my own story, I’m taking the advice of those who think it belongs in a volume of its own. Though it’s slowed down my output here, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made on my memoir. Exploring my past through the lens of my always evolvin ..read more

I met Royce when I was a college student at the University of Alaska, during the waning days of my evangelical journey. We had a few classes together, and his perceptive and uncouth contributions to our class discussions impressed me and made me chuckle in about equal proportion. For my undergrad thesis in 2006, I wrote a screenplay about a modern day Jesus who was a former evangelical Christian-turned-progressive civil rights activist. It was a way of processing my own experiences and emotions walking away from the Church. I ended up directing a few scenes for my thesis panel complete with ac ..read more

Read Part Four — “An Exiled Christian and a Genderqueer Walk Into a Bar” here. It is 2010. I am 29 years old and living in Mount Vernon, Washington where, for the last eighteen months or so, I’ve been working through my shit with gloriously backbreaking manual labor on a farm. And I think I’m falling in love with a boy. I’m watching him right now. We stand with the surprisingly invested crowd that he and I have assembled together. They raise their hands in mock praise, satisfied smirks on their face rivaling my own – implying that they’re enjoying Nathan’s song nearly as much as I am. He’s ..read more

Growing up as Christians, we were taught from childhood that our theology was the “Absolute Truth,” and that it would never change not collapse under scrutiny. When doubts arose as they inevitably do, it was explained to us as God “testing us” or Satan “tempting us.” This is framed in a way that suggests that doubt is some sort of trial that we must face in order to have our faith in Christ refined in fire. It also sets the terms of the only way to overcome our doubt: To double down on our evangelical theology. Questioning is therefore only encouraged to the extent that it brings us back into ..read more

It is my pleasure to present a new voice in our Dispatches column.  Self-proclaimed “ex-fundie” Andrew Pledger reached out to me this week to see if I was interested in sharing his story at Surviving the Spirit; after reading his “testimony” (maybe it’s time for exvangelicals to take that term back), I was deeply moved and knew that Andrew is on a path toward healing that can be used as a city on a hill (we’ll take that one too) for anyone who is also struggling with their faith tradition, processing their religious trauma, asking questions, and realizing that there is more to t ..read more

Read Part 3 — “Qualm of Conscience” here. It is a chilly night in Auke Bay, Alaska – December of 2007. Chance and I are staying toasty by the electric fire stove, the shadows of which dance all about this wide space around us filled with rows of books, exotic plants I’m responsible for watering, and glorious walls of windows overlooking the sun’s increasingly sleepy glow over the expansive channel. This house doesn’t belong to either of us (far out of the tax bracket of a college student like Chance or a university employee like me); in fact, it’s a colleague’s house for which I’m sitting whil ..read more

The Christian mystic Instagram page Gnostic Alchemy just published a really interesting overview about sacrificial god folklore in many cultures before Christianity utilized it for its Christ liturgy. Their brief essay reads: “Among those connected historically or allegorically with a crucifixion are Prometheus, Adonis, Apollo, Arys, Bacchus, Buddha, Christna, Horus, Indra, Ixion, Mithras, Osiris, Pythagoras, Quetzalcoatl, Semiramis, and Jupiter. All these heroes gave their lives to the service of humanity and, with one or two exceptions, died as martyrs for the cause of human progress. “The p ..read more