We're at that point when calm days out number bad days but bad days are still cropping up as revelations occur. Well two days ago my WP told me that they've realized that they only love me some of the time. That they tried to let me go years ago because they knew that they weren't good for me. And that now they think that divorce might be the only way I stop being hurt by them. I agreed to divorce without any anxiety or stress. I'm scared today because historically WP's grief turns to rage but I also just kind of want to get it over with. But what has me feeling down is that it's taken me 8 m ..read more

My story is in pieces and I don't feel the need to go into into the details as my situation is ever-evolving (as many are) and I prefer to share as little as I can for my own mental health's sake. I have cross-posted this, so please forgive repetition. I need advice about how to handle an anniversary: its almost been a year since I last saw the AP and currently about a month from our third D-Day in four years. I want to get in front of it, and offer a place of compassion while he wrestles with this fact. I want to show him that I am taking an active role in taking responsibility by anticipati ..read more

Hi there, this may be a long one, so, I apologize in advance for the novel! My WP and I have been in the process of R for the past 4.5 years. Essentially, he still claims to this day that it was only an EA and never a PA. I’ve never quite believed him, because the evidence make it all seem like it would be very unlikely that they were never physical. We have six kids, so the idea of leaving is insanely terrifying. He has always had major red flags that I ignored due to my own trauma and anxious attachment. He was raised in a toxic family dynamic that encouraged lying about EVERYTHING (e.g ..read more

So we all know that a few of the big reasons people cheat are the novelty and excitement. My WW was having the butterflies big time with her AP, and that excitement was a huge accelerant to her infidelity. She admits that I don’t give her those butterflies anymore, they’ve been absent for a long time. Now I’m certainly willing to try and get that excitement back, but we’ve been married for 15 years. Is it even possible? I’ve always tried to keep things fresh by day trips, vacations, date nights, etc but apparently that wasn’t effective. What else can I do? The one thing I can’t be is new and ..read more

Basically what the title says. Trying not to make you read a whole novel sorry. I have been with my WH for 13 years. A few months ago I discovered he had been talking to an Only fans girl he actually knew in real life who lived just down the road from us. Swears it was all online, nothing physical. Still spent over $1000 of our savings on her and kept it going for over a year After finding this out and alot of fighting and pushing he finally admitted to something. For the first couple of years we dated we use to fight about a girl who kept popping up in his life. He would tell me he loved me ..read more

Welcome! By popular demand, this here is the r/AsOneAfterInfidelity weekly positivity thread. Comment on this post to tell us what's going well in your reconciliation and recovery, no matter how big or small. Let's share some positivity and encouragement to give each other a few rays of hope even on the darkest days. What signs of progress, change or healing in yourself, your spouse or your relationship have you seen this week? Of course feel free to make an individual positive post, and keep on posting your questions, vents, rants, advice and reflections. If you are new to r/AsOneAfterInfide ..read more

Whether you are a day, a week, a month, a year or even a decade or more from discovery day... Comment on this post to tell us about your experience of reconciliation so far. Hopefully sharing with each other, by looking back at where we've been and looking ahead at what could be, each from our different mileposts along the way, will help us feel less lost and alone. Use any or all of the following questions as a prompt, or share your freeform thoughts: What has been the hardest part of reconciliation so far? What is the best part? What has helped you the most in terms of healing? What is not ..read more

Hi I spoke to men and women behind my partners back for a few years. We are trying to reconcile but we’re in the absolute thick of it at the moment. I have been open and honest since it all came to light. I’ve given up social media, friends, family, for months now, I’ve taken the name calling and the constant handing my phone over for them to go through. Last Wednesday I found out I was having an ectopic pregnancy and went through all of that on my own. My partner wasn’t there for me as he’s still so angry at me. I was alone, in pain, put myself back in to hospital because I had no help with ..read more

I was this close to a perfect life, or so I thought. I had a beautiful precious daughter already and I was pregnant with my second child, this time a boy, so one could check off the typical bucket list of having a pair of children with different genders. We’d just signed the paperwork for our first beautiful forever home that literally cost millions, finally moving forward to the next stage in life. And it all came crashing down when I discovered my husband had started getting special services from massage parlours. That began his descent into a full blown midlife crisis and now, a year later ..read more

Here I am again - this subreddit always brings me peace. For more context you can read my last 3 posts. It’s been almost 4 weeks since D-Day and today was hard because he still has days he thinks about not being with me. Which I know is normal. He was having a “sulky” day and that triggers me so much. He says he cheated because he was unhappy, and had been unhappy for over a year. But in that years time, anytime he was sulking, I would beg him to tell me what was wrong and he wouldn’t. It turns out that all those times, he was thinking about life without me. Anyways - my theory is that he nev ..read more