How do you respond to unfair feedback? Recently, during team performance reviews, someone on my team received feedback that I strongly believed to be unfair. I argued vehemently and at the risk of coming across as aggressive, something that is frowned upon. Unfortunately, I wasn’t successful in making my case. Having heard Luaskya’s story since then, I wish I had met her before I had gone into that discussion, and could have adopted some of her tact. Luaskya’s situation was tougher. The negative feedback was about her, and it was harsh. However, instead of becoming aggressive or defensive, Lua ..read more

When I started my career, I assumed that my manager will take care of me when I am ready for a promotion. I then learned that I could be waiting forever for that to happen. I had to be proactive and initiate the conversation. So I did. I had what I considered a difficult and awkward conversation with my manager at the beginning of the year about getting promoted. He did not seem to have any major objections. Relieved that I had done my part, I did not bring it up again. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I did not get promoted that year. It made me realize that I had to get very comf ..read more

Stepping out of the shadows and taking the center stage takes courage. And I will admit that there are times I have failed to summon the courage to do so, even though I knew that is what I needed to do to be an effective leader. This fear has gotten in the way of many things including being more active in sharing my thoughts and opinions on social media. Talking to Nyna helped me realize that my discomfort is being caused by being overly focused on how I would be perceived. Instead, whether it is posting on social media, or voicing my opinion at work, I need to focus on what I am trying to ach ..read more

When I was in my twenties, I had joined a tennis league. I used to drive 45 min from my office on a Monday night to play the weekly matches. On Wednesdays, I spent another hour taking tennis lessons to improve my game. When I think about it, I marvel at my ability to leave work behind and commit to doing something in my evenings. Now when I make plans on a weeknight, I find myself feeling guilty and wanting to get back to my desk as soon as possible to get a little more work done and be a little more prepared for tomorrow. No matter how much fun I am having, this low hum of anxiety plays in th ..read more

In Silicon Valley, a lot has been said about not tolerating “brilliant jerks” - people who are high performers, but are also bullies, rude, disrespectful and unprofessional.  Companies tout valuing culture over results.  But in spite of that, I have had the misfortune of working closely with at least three people who were bullies and created a toxic culture in their teams.  After talking to my friends and coworkers, I have realized I am not an exception. Many people have had similar experiences at their workplace and it made them miserable.  Some decided to leave rather tha ..read more

In 2009, when there was a financial meltdown in progress, I was working as a consultant. My year long project with a client had ended with a successful product launch, and I was back on the “bench”. While any other time, I would have looked forward to enjoying a (paid) break, I knew that given the economic downturn, the company will not be able to afford to keep me on the payroll for long. I was on a work visa. So without a job, my days in the country would be numbered. Thankfully, the same client I had just just rolled off of had a new project start, and they asked for me. I don’t think they ..read more

Until a few years ago, I had thought of retirement in traditional terms. My plan was to dedicate four decades to my career and to creating wealth so that I can enjoy the last few years of my life in retirement - pursuing hobbies, traveling etc.  But over time, it has become clear to me that I don’t want to wait another two decades to enjoy the fruits of my labor.  I want the freedom to live where I want, travel when I want and spend my time the way I want to. And, I want to start living this life in the next five years. The key to this door might be passive income.   Given ..read more

Learning to speak up in meetings has been a journey for me, and it is one that is still ongoing. Early in my career, across multiple roles, companies, and managers, I got the same feedback - speak up more, trust yourself, come out of the shadows. But eventually, it wasn’t this feedback that gave me the courage to do so. It was the realization that by not speaking up in meetings, I was not doing my job. As a product manager, my role is to advocate for my customers. And by choosing to keep quite when I had something to say, I was not being effective in my role. So I overcame my hesitation by bei ..read more

When it comes to planning a vacation, I am very thorough. In preparation for any trip, I spend hours going through blogs and other travel websites to find interesting things to do. I find recommended restaurants and make reservations in advance. I have a long, detailed checklist I use to pack. But my conversation with Ada Chen, the guest on this episode of Unseen Battles, made me realize that I have not brought the same rigor to something way more important—end of life planning. I don’t have a will. I have not done estate planning, even though I believe it is available through Employee Assista ..read more

In my senior year of high school, I came to the US as a cultural exchange student through a Rotary Club. As a part of this one year exchange program, I stayed with a family in Arizona and attended the local high school. Because I was an exchange student, I was offered a place in the Student Council at my school, a position that other students had to be elected for. But I declined the offer and chose to take a Physics class instead. I hid behind the excuse that I needed the science class credits for college (after three years of high school in India, I probably had enough science credits for a ..read more