We can choose how to live better lives after diagnosis Suddenly everything begins to make sense! All of the “whys” of our past, our misunderstandings of what happened, ideas about who did what and why, beliefs about our histories, our families, our experiences and our own self concept are shaken and shifted to the very core of our being. Knowing how autism acted in almost all parts of our lives and how own behavior, thoughts, actions, and beliefs have always been affected ( since birth!) by autism is validating, upsetting, a relief, a sad disappointment, a painful and exultant discovery for ..read more

What about drugs for Autism? If you are over 65, you can probably remember when there were family doctors who made house calls. You are probably aware of many of the huge changes that have taken place in medical care from the beginnings of your childhood. We live in the age of medical miracles. We have seen the development and benefitted from a life time of life saving drugs, vaccines, better nutrition, health care, and the development of better understanding of many rare developmental conditions, syndromes, mental illnesses, help with sanitation, childbirth, genetics, neurology, and so much ..read more

Negative response to our struggles and trauma Have you heard about “learned helplessness”??? It is not something that happens only to autistic individuals, but can happen to anybody “Learned helplessness” comes about when we begin to believe that no matter what we do or what we try, we will not be able to change our lives, our circumstances, our selves, or any situation we may find ourselves in. Autism fills our lives with sensory challenges and struggles. Our responses can be those responses to trauma, fight, flight, freezing, or fawning. Over time we may develop a negative thinking patt ..read more

Why is recognizing and sorting emotions so hard??? Of all the things I have learned about autism, this is one I struggle with the most. As a child I was trained to instant obedience and punished if I cried or resisted any direction at any time. I learned to be silent, obedient, and that my feelings and opinions did not matter. Over time the lesson was repeated endlessly and I was fawning and appeasing, fearing the next round of punishment for things I only began to understand in my early teens. Without insights and intuitive responses to the physical body language, words, thoughts of othe ..read more

Why are we arguing about this? Whenever there are 2 or more people in a room, there are politics. Humans tend to disagree and have independent opinions on many subjects. There has been a trend here in the USA to suppress and “shout down” those who disagree with many ideas. Autism as a topic is just as loaded with disagreements as any other topic. I am constantly getting hostile email and comments from those who disagree with my flexible use of either “title ” for those who are autistic. I have autism, I am autistic. There is a lot of strong feeling in both camps. It is obvious to me that t ..read more

adjusting to our new understanding 5 things that might help! Finding out we are autistic throws “everything” we thought we knew and understood about our selves, others, our past, our nature, our lives right up until we are finally diagnosed late in our lives, into new perspective. Suddenly learning how autism has been working within us all these years without our knowing can be stunning, disconcerting, upsetting, exciting, a huge relief and also a huge disappointment causing grief for our past self, time we now see as lost, and shaking us to the core because of new self perceptions. The lo ..read more

Autism diagnosis and ageing adults blog I missed it, passed the 200th post in this blog!!!! We are entering the 4th year of the blog and just celebrated our 3 years since my diagnosis anniversary. The format for these posts puts the most recent entry on top, so to read the whole thing in chronological order, you will have to scroll to the last entry and read backwards! This will be the 209th post . If you find the information here useful would you be so kind as to share the Oldladywithautism.blog address? It seems urgent that autistic adults ageing in frustration and confusion and emotio ..read more

When you are unsure of almost everything Because of sensory processing struggles, because of the problems I have with visual input or audio input, I have lived a life of anxiety, unsure of almost everything. I can not trust the things I think I see in any action or interaction going on around me. I can not trust my hearing to pick up on details, nuances, meaning, intent. I can not trust my body to act/ react/ perform as I would like it to. In any “real life” interaction, whether real time “face to face” interactions, Zoom, video presentations, movies, lectures, on the telephone, texting/mess ..read more

autism and being a target Autism and vulnerability, autism and trusting nature, autism in old age, autism as targets of crime. I probably have your attention now! Statistics from internet sources confirm that autistic individuals report being victims of crime more frequently than the general population. There is much speculation about why this may be so. Those with autism become easy targets once our trust is gained, and since for many of us, our “social radar” and ability to detect hidden motives is poor, we can be tricked, conned, lied to, manipulated, pressured and intimidated into sit ..read more

It is never too late ! Reports of older adults finding diagnosis are becoming more frequent. Many elder adults suddenly discover that they have spent a life time working to understand WHY they have always struggled socially, Why it seems so hard to do social things that others seem to do naturally and easily. Make friends? Mix and fit into a social group? Be comfortable in social situations from school, meetings at work, group gatherings of family, or for business purposes, or while participating in clubs, societies, organizations, church or worship activities, or simply being around a lot o ..read more