Jeremy Kyle's 12 Days of Christmas; 12 gold hoops 11 fake uggs 10 richmond kingsize 9pm curfew 8 snotty noses 7 different dads 6 grams of sniff 5 sovereign rings 4 stolen rims 3 ASBOs 2 many beers & a brand new S.T.D ..read more

Audi TT owner #shorts #topgear #clarkson #jeremyclarkson #hammond #jamesmay Programm: Top Gear on BBC season 3, episode 8owner: BBC Studios#topgear #clarkson #jeremyclarkson #auto #cars #thegrandtour #richardhammond #hammond #jamesma... youtube.com ..read more

The female dentist prepares the needle to give the bloke with the toothache an anaesthetic injection.. "No way! No needles, I hate needles!" the guy said. So the dentist starts to hook up her nitrous oxide gas and the man objects again. "I can't do the gas thing either. The thought of having the gas mask on my face makes me faint!" She then asks the guy if he has any objection to taking a pill. "No objection," the patient says. "'I'm fine with pills." When she returns she says, "Here's... Dentist ..read more

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back; you are a... Longest insult ever ..read more

Leather dress When a woman wears a leather dress, A man's heart beats quicker, and his throat gets dry, he goes weak at the knees, and he begins to think irrationally. -Ever wondered why ? .............................................................. ................. .............. Because she smells like a new car ..read more

So I didn't buy this as saving to get my Haldex & sensor check done etc... However i did find myself becoming "addicted" to looking at anything TT related on ebay! Saw this and said "wow a complete scalextric with a blue car like mine" ? Anyway as I've not been well, other half brought it to cheer me up....Anyway wanted to ask, is it just me having my mid life crisis, or are there others out there who have replica toy models etc?.....If I've just gone crazy, don't worry I can take the... First a cup holder & now this ..read more

Hiall, I'm posting this in the jokes section cause I found this article and it's damned funny Here Are The Audi TT Years To Avoid The TT has been well-received by reviewers and consumers alike since its introduction in 2000, and it has gone through three versions and several model years. Some years earned a lot of acclaim, while others didn't. Here are the Audi TT years to avoid. www.copilotsearch.com So according to this guy all 2000-2006 years are to be avoided, so basically all TT Mk1 ) What you reckon? What do you think the years to avoid are and why? The mechanic I'm going to when ..read more

AUDI TT MK1 225 BAM | eBay XXXX BUY IT NOW FOR £3495! XXXX Here we have my beloved MK1 Audi TT COUPE 225 BAM in original REFLEX SILVER. I hadn't got round to deciding on a seat delete yet, I was thinking of just a 50mm black plastic gloss guttering tube from B&Q as it looks spot on, and I've seen others that have... www.ebay.co.uk ..read more

The two lads arrive at the airport and Mick says "I wish I had my TV with me" "Why is that said his mate" "Because my passport is sitting on top of it ..read more

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