It’s taken me a while to gather the right words for this post. But I think I’ve found them. Yesterday we drove up to Kansas City for Nellie’s ophthalmology appointment. While we were waiting she was sitting in a little area watching Mickey Mouse with another little boy. At this point, it’s relevant to know that this little boy clearly had special needs. While in that space, which we could clearly see into, this little boy threw his bag of snacks at Nellie’s face and then slapped her hard enough for the whole room to hear. Immediately, the boy’s mom was mad and going to get him. And Bryan picke ..read more

I don’t normally nap with Nellie. Once she’s asleep I put her in her bed and I try to get things done around the house or get some work done. But two days in a row I haven’t put her in bed. I held her until she woke up. Because I couldn’t let her go. The other day I read an article in which the headline read Louisiana Grandmother Kills 4-Year-Old After Forcing Her To Drink Bottle of Whiskey. I held my sweet, little 2-year-old while I read this and I cried. So, I decided not to put her in her bed that day. I slept with her and it was everything my heart needed. Today, I sat on the couch wit ..read more

Apparently, #momlife looks different these days. I got on here to write a post and saw that it’s been almost 6 months since I posted. So, here’s a quick update on things happening since October. October: Halloween. Nellie was Mary Sanderson for Halloween. Her cousins were Winifred & Sarah Sanderson and Binx (all from Hocus Pocus, in case you didn’t know). November: Thanksgiving. This was Nellie’s second Thanksgiving. But this time around she was walking. We weren’t watching her at one point and she got to the dessert table. The last one ended up being our Christmas card photo. Dec ..read more

You think about her, too. Maybe less often as time goes on, but every once in a while she’ll pop into your thoughts. And sometimes you’ll miss her. Sometimes you won’t. She never takes over your life again, but there’s always a little part of her around. You may already know who I’m talking about. The person you were before you were a mama. I often find myself thinking that I’ve lost myself in motherhood. I mean, I love being a mom. Especially to Nellie. She’s amazing and most days she makes it so easy. But there’s this little part of me that wonders where I went. I don’t need or want to ..read more

The only thing I miss about California is the people. I miss my family and my friends. I miss feeling like I have people all around me all the time. The struggle has been very real. And it’s been hard. I’m a social person. I like to be around others. Don’t get me wrong, I like my ‘me time’, but not all the time. And then you throw in staying home with a toddler and not having any other adults to talk to. I found myself waiting to see what happened on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. We were very blessed to move in next to a really nice family. The Johnsons – Marcus, Katrina and their son Jonas. Pre ..read more

Nell and I had a rough morning. We woke up a little late. I had to finish preparing a fruit dish for my moms league (I joined a moms group!!). I had to get dressed, but had literally (yea, literally) nothing because I had thrown everything in the washer last night, but forgot to change it over. And the rest of my closet is not accessible at the moment. Nell kept running from me and kicking when I tried getting her dressed. She squirmed when I did her hair. She didn’t want to walk to the car. We were late. I was short with her. And definitely owed her an apology because she was just being a tod ..read more

Nell loves the song Mother Knows Best from the Disney movie Tangled. The more I listen to it the more I wonder, do I know best? So often I hear, “YOU are her mom, YOU know what’s best for her!” And just as often I wonder, “Do I really?” Sometimes I feel inadequate. Don’t get me wrong, yes I DO know what’s best for her. Bryan and I both do. If we didn’t we wouldn’t have been hand picked by God to be her parents. But in all honesty I find myself wondering if I really know what I should be doing. Am I making the right decisions? Am I choosing the right parenting techniques? Am I making choi ..read more

This post was almost my last. The other day I mentioned to my cousin that I was in the process of writing my last blog post. She wasn’t really having any of that. When she asked why I was doing that I said that I wasn’t sure there was anything left to say. Sometimes I feel like I talk about Nell being a preemie too much, even though it’s a huge part of our story. I’m probably overthinking it, though, right? September is NICU awareness month. You’ve all read about my 70 days. That felt like forever. You didn’t read about Jordyn’s 165 days. That’s 5 1/2 months! That doesn’t include the 35 days s ..read more

If you’ve been following along with us the last few months, you know they have been nothing short of frustrating. We moved to Missouri last September. We, very quickly, signed a contract on a lot in a new development in Ozark. Right at the end we ran into a slew of issues. It started with our builder wanting to raise the price of the house. Then there was how much we would need to pay to have a fence put in. Then, we wouldn’t make closing because of weather and the delays happening with subcontractors. THEN! We had to reschedule closing AGAIN! All of that to say…WE MADE IT! As of 12pm today we ..read more

This week our Wall of Jericho got a little taller. I recently let you all know that we had run into some issues with our builder. He wasn’t able to finish the house within the contracted timeframe. We signed an extension for another week and a half. Unfortunately, before we reached the new contracted closing day we got bad news. On June 3rd we got news that he would most likely not be done with the yard by June 8th. The issue with that is that our interest rate lock expired on June 9th. In order to keep our interest rate for another 30 days to sign a new extension, we would need to pay another ..read more