This post was first published in the column I write for Anabaptist World. I thought I’d also share it with you. *** Some time ago, one of the pastors at the church I attend, Junior Beachy, spoke on the roots of abusive behavior. His insights were helpful to me and, I thought, relevant to the church as a whole. With thanks to him, this article gives some of those insights a broader airing. In recent years, we have heard more than ever before about many kinds of abuse — physical, sexual, emotional, economic, spiritual. We have seen abuse that was hidden within church walls uncovered. We ar ..read more

One thing I love to observe in my daughter is her blooming and blossoming imagination. Where did she get it? I wonder. Who taught her to pretend things? When she was quite young–maybe a year or year and a half–she was eating Cheerios while listening to me read a story about dogs. And she took the Cheerio in her fingers and “fed” it to the dogs on the page! She still likes feeding her toys–as in the photo above–whether it’s a doll or a little stuffed horse. Her dolls, on occasion, take baths with her, go to bed with her–lying sweetly beneath their very own blanket–and listen to stories with he ..read more

Fullness of life. My child lies on her child-sized table watching a kids music video. Her eyes sparkle shine. A cardinal flashes past my window. Sun makes grass bright, a vibrant yellow green. I rarely let Annalise watch media on my phone…but on a whim this morning I found her animated children’s songs on You Tube, just to show her what it’s like. Now she is so fascinated. I like to see her enjoy it, like to see her smile. I wonder how it changes a child, to have or not to have media. Ivan and I mostly keep her away from media because we aren’t big movie people ourselves and because we want h ..read more

My friend and writing mentor, Dorcas Smucker, gave me a copy of her new book, Coming Home to Roost, when it released and said I could review it if I wanted to, but no pressure. That’s a nice kind of review to do and goes along with something I’ve appreciated about Dorcas in the years I’ve followed her blog and gotten to know her–she doesn’t pressure anyone to fit a certain mold or follow a certain pattern. I am okay being me, and you are okay being you. Acceptance is a wonderful gift, especially when parents give it to their children. I always love hearing how excited and proud Dorcas is of t ..read more

I once read a book about the five Chinese elements—fire, earth, water, wood, metal—and how they map onto human personalities. As a disclaimer, I don’t go in for the signs of the zodiac or predicting personality by birth year, etc. This book wasn’t that, but instead took the angle of using the elements to categorize different human types, similar to the Greeks’ “four humours” or the modern Myers-Briggs personality types. After reading the book, I decided I was a water person, partly because I was always questing for truth, but mostly because I’ve always battled fear. What I remember about myse ..read more

Over Easter weekend Ivan, Annalise, and I, along with Ivan’s cousin Raymond, took a short trip to Holland to fulfill one of Ivan’s dreams–to see the tulips in bloom. First, we flew into Paris and spent one Friday evening there. We did a quick walk through a small section of the Louvre–that vast art museum that used to be one of the palaces of Louis XIV. King Louis established France as a world power whose sophistication was emulated by the English, but his decadence and love of glory have made him representative of the self-serving aristocracy whom the French peasants turned against in bloody ..read more

Lately some words from an article I once wrote have been running through my mind: We serve a God who is a master of fixing. I wrote the article for the CLP Sunday school papers at the ripe wise age of 23 and am a little embarrassed to read it now. It seems so very idealistic and MOMENTOUS, you know? “I see people hurt by the mistakes of their parents and passing the same hurts along to their children. I see people ignorant, selfish, and blind…” as if I at 23 had observed and understood the sins of the world. Still, I like the underlying concept of this article. My heart still feels half doubt ..read more

How do you teach an almost 2-year-old about Jesus? A little book I bought recently called Tell Me About Jesus is a great start. I love reading this book to Annalise. The pictures hold her attention so well, and the words are so simple and engaging, I have the feeling it must have been read to the author’s own children many times to get every word just right. My favorite page is the one with the mirror, that asks, “Who does Jesus love?” How sweet, fun, and wonderful to give my daughter the answer: “Annalise!” You can order Tell Me About Jesus from Christian Light Publications. If your child i ..read more

Watching Annalise, I am amazed at the qualities of humanity that come to her naturally, things I don’t have to teach her. Negative things sometimes, of course–but I revel in the positive and linger longest over those. Imagination, humor, a sense of justice, joy…how beautiful to see that these things are so intrinsic to human nature they can be observed in a one-and-a-half year old. (Intrinsic because our nature is shaped by God, I believe. Every good gift is there because he plants it.) I love to kiss her under her round white chin and see her stretch her neck back like a bird’s, with laughte ..read more

Recently a couple of ladies–older moms I respect and admire–made comments on a few of my blog posts that show me I’m not the only woman who grapples with the change in identity that comes with motherhood. “I didn’t quite know who I had become,” one said, referring to how it feels to be a mother of young children. “I was not prepared for the change and especially how being a wife and mother entwines you so much more intimately with another and finding your identity in that change,” said the other. Yes. And yes. Pre-marriage, I thought I could go on being Luci, only married. Fill a role like a ..read more