Hi everyone, It is a sad time for me. Next week is the one year anniversary of mother's death. I think of calling her once in a while to share something I experienced, then I realize she is gone. I woke up the other day thinking they are really gone and are not coming back. I thought I was totally over that but parts of me just keep hanging on to the past. Thanks for listening. :grouphug: CANDC [If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message ..read more

My mom died. It’s been about 10 months. She had a lung transplant. Every complication imaginable. The team was never there for us. But she died after a year and half. It could e been avoided. I can’t just explain the entirety of it . But it’s been incredibly difficult for me. AND MY DAD . I pretend like it’s fine . Oh no. I dknt want to burden people. Again, it’s been about 8 months and I’ve lost myself so much. I dknt trust anyone. Even after it happened, coworkers were like “oh no so sorry” okay…. Let’s talk about me now . I’m just so exhausted at pretending . I miss her so much . I loved he ..read more

Anyone dealt with anticipatory grief? I just learned that I am probably experiencing it as I take care of my elderly mom. We are very close. Her mental and physical health are declining rapidly. Could use support of any kind ..read more

Two years ago, my 20 something daughter cut off all communication with me. This was six years after I divorced her mother, my wife of 20 years. Daughter knew about her mom’s infidelity even before I found out. Her mom and I tried to work it out, but she was ultimately not trustworthy. Her mom had a breakdown during our attempted reconciliation and threatened suicide to our daughter’s face, blaming daughter for her suicidal desires. Daughter had several episodes of suicidal ideation before that, herself. Daughter ended up going to a good college and got a job afterwards. Her relationship with ..read more

Here's my story In January 2019, after burning out and going on short term disability, I started seeing a therapist for the first time. Gradually she helped me feel better and turn myself around. She changed my life. We started going into my childhood cPTSD and depression and for the first time in my life I felt really, truly seen. She truly cared about what I've been struggling with my whole life and truly wanted to help. I felt a hole in me that has been there most of my life start to be filled in the most hopeful, fulfilling way. COVID hit and we went online. I was inconsolable. There's n ..read more

I've read and responded to some of the posts in this forum, but am now posting a thread of my own. I tried a while back, but couldn't finish one. I'm overwhelmed with grief. Yes, I've lost many people close to me. This pains me so much, but I've had losses of different sorts, too. My mother died suddenly, about 18 years ago, when I was only 32. The closest person in my life, other than my hubby. That exacerbated an already severe bipolar episode, causing the first of 10 psychiatric hospitalizations, with alcohol abuse. The trauma and sickness ended my career. I grew so weak. So weak, when in ..read more

My aunt died from kidney cancer yesterday, 76 years old. I just cry and I can´t understand that she´s really gone. I knew her kidney cancer wasn´t curable when she got her diagnosis in November last year, but still, I can´t understand that she´s now gone. Doctors did what they could for her and for a short period of time chemo helped her but she then got sepsis and was staying in hospital three times during this spring and summer. She only got worse after the sepsis and the last few days she spent in hospice. I saw her the last time last summer as she didn´t want any visits during Christmas ..read more

The consensus of all of the books, blogs, and articles that I read plus the YouTube videos I watch about how grief affects people has led to these facts: Higher risk for negative outcomes that includes depression, anxiety, PTSD, low self esteem, addictions, job loss, relationship loss I can't deal with people who complain about their living parents around me anymore. I can feel my grief physically too now b/c grief effects me physically as well as my appetite I'm sad 24/7; online grief support is ok but not really helping me move forward I have lost my identity and don't know who I am anymore ..read more

just a couple of hours ago actually Rip pauleen. for the 80 years you lived on this earth you were definitely well loved and respected by everyone who knew you ..read more

I don’t even know how to begin to let out all of these feelings about my grief over my family and friends deaths. I thought I had processed most until I lost my last two siblings last month. Less than two weeks apart. My sister’s autopsy has not come back yet. My brother died less than two weeks after her of a brain stem stroke. They said he had bronchitis earlier that week. Now I am back to constantly dreaming about my parents, cousin, brother and one of my student’s that killed herself last November. I even find myself going back to my sister-in-law’s suicide in 2000! It is to the point that ..read more